Getting there

I am getting there.  This schedule is starting to feel routine.  I'm starting to adjust to our new normal, as it were.  We're also starting to figure out how this schedule is affecting each of us.

For example, Bear has adjusted to JK wonderfully; in fact, his teacher told me that he has adjusted better than some of the kids who are now in SK.  He is, however, a crabby, cranky mess the first 45 minutes he is home from school.  This can wreak havoc on the afternoon.  We're starting to figure out, though, that he needs some time to decompress.  So, we've been letting him have some quiet time to himself when he first gets home.  Some days he colors, some days he paints, some days he looks at books by himself.  After about 30 minutes, he is back to his usual happy self. 

As for me, I am relying a lot on our schedule.  I work when the boys are at school.  I focus on being with them when we're home together.  Archer and I are squeezing in moments together in between everything.  I won't lie; it's been tough.  It's chaotic, and the evenings and afternoons are often frenetic.  We get home, we unpack, we play for a while, then we do homework, we practice music, and we make dinner.  After dinner we have bath, storytime, and bed.  Archer and I often manage to squeeze in a few moments of work after all three boys are asleep, or we just hang out together before falling asleep and starting all over again. 

Chaos

Today marks the first day of what will be a chaotic year for us.  With all three boys in different schools, Archer and I will be constantly checking our calendars and communicating about who is getting which child when.  We've worked out a schedule, but we're both sacrificing quite a bit of time at the office to forgo the cost of after school care for Bear and Wild Man.  We'll both end up doing a lot of class prep after the boys are asleep, and we'll likely have to find some time on the weekends.  We'll manage though, and we're both happy with our decision.

Can you explain this to me?

For the past month or so, we've been trying to get into a routine. During the last 2 weeks of our winter break, I mandated that we all (C, S, and me) be up, out of bed, dressed, fed, and ready to go--even if we were hanging out at home that day--by 9:00. Every morning that both C & I were home, we failed miserably. I repeatedly found myself still in my pajamas at 10:30 or later. With 2 adults home, we couldn't manage to get S ready for the day let alone ourselves. Last week, C's semester started; he is gone 2 days a week from 6:30 until 3:00 or so and one afternoon from 1:00 until around 7:00. Every day he has left the house at 6:30, I have managed to fulfill the mission I gave both of us: S & I are up, fed, dressed, and ready for the day by 9:00. I told C this and he looked at me as though I were Superwoman. He asked if S & I hung out in bed like the three of us do on the mornings that C is home. I told him we did all the normal things--we did S's "baby exercises" in bed, he nursed for 30 minutes after that (I manage to make myself a quick breakfast before he nurses, so I can eat while he nurses), and then he played in his bouncy seat while I took a short shower and got dressed. This morning, I've even managed to make the bed, wash a load of clothes, and run the vacuum cleaner upstairs--all before my online office hours begin at 10:30. Granted, C did feed the cats, make coffee, and unload the dishwasher before he left this morning. But why is it that I can get all of that done on my own while caring for S, but the two of us can't?

My explanation: I'm much more productive when I know I don't have anyone else to rely on. I don't spend half of my morning asking C for help or waiting for C to do something for me. I just do it myself. So why don't I just do it all myself when he's home? I've been asking myself that, and I have two explanations that I am happy with.

1. He needs to feel needed.
2. I don't want to do it all myself! I want us to work out a morning routine together that gets us all up and ready for the day by 9:00! I think we'll have to keep working on that one . . .