I have 2 weeks until my due date, and I am more than ready to be done with pregnancy for a while. For the most part, I've enjoyed being pregnant, until recently. I've been having contractions regularly for over a week now, and twice they've become so regular that we've gotten all ready to go to the hospital, and then, as if our unborn child were saying "Na-na-a-boo-boo" to us, the contractions stop. What hasn't stopped, however, are the inane questions from people, generally acquaintances and relative strangers. So I've decided to make a list of questions that no pregnant woman in her 9th month of pregnancy wants to be asked.
1. Are you ready to pop yet? Um, no, I'm not ready to pop, but I am ready to give birth. And thanks so much for taking the opportunity to remind me I look like a house.
2. How are you feeling? I'm 9 months pregnant--my hands and feet are swollen, my back hurts, my hips hurt, and I now waddle; how do you think I feel?
3. Are you prepared for labor? Based on my decision to go unmedicated, I can't even acknowledge this question without having to answer a whole bunch more annoying questions.
4. Are you ready for the baby? I have no idea what the appropriate response is to this question. I know it's just meant to be conversational, but for some reason I find it very invasive. I mean, are you every fully prepared for a life-changing event?
5. Isn't this just the happiest time in your life? Well, yes and no. Having a child isn't the only thing that's going on in our lives right now, but I've generally found that people don't want to hear about dissertation dilemmas, dying fathers-in-law, mentally ill mothers, or job searches when we could be talking about the baby.
6. When are you due? Again, I know this is a simple question meant to generate conversation, but after answering it about a billion times, I'm ready to have a t-shirt printed up with my due date on it. I will, of course, wear the t-shirt 24-7 so that I no longer have to answer this question.
7. Can you do (fill in the blank)? Well, I'm pregnant, not helpless, so chances are, yes, I can do whatever needs to be done. It may take me longer and I may look awkward doing it, but I probably can get it done.
8. How are you sleeping? Again, I'm 9 months pregnant. Turning over in bed is a production, and I have to pee every 2 hours. How do you think I'm sleeping?
9. Have you had that baby yet? This particular question typically comes from family and friends who do not see me regularly. I generally try to laugh or express some humor, but I really want to say, no, damn it! I haven't had the baby yet, and because of that incredibly stupid question, you just got moved down to the bottom of the list of people to be notified when I do have the baby.
I feel quite certain I could come up many more equally annoying questions, but these top my list right now.
3 comments:
Well, yeah!! Those are terrible and I got them a lot. It's one more reason to want to have the baby sooner, isn't it?
I think these questions are sort of the pregnancy version of the "so, how's the dissertation going?" question. People are showing support for you and the thing you're making, but sometimes, when you're cranky or the writing hasn't gone well (or you have back pain from carrying an almost-to-term bebe!), it feels like they're being pushy.
i.e. I ask these questions out of concern for you and bebe, and admiration over the fact that *you're making a bebe*! That's so incredibly *neat*!
:)
Amy
But there is a difference between asking these questions out of genuine concern and asking them out of a lack of anything else to say. The questions generally don't bother me when they come from close friends and family, perhaps because I talk to them regularly and they don't pose the questions in such an intrusive way.
And I think the pregnancy and dissertation issue are apt comparisons; both are incredibly personal, albeit public on some level, experiences that everyone feels they have a right to know about it. Or they ask you about when they don't have anything else to say!
These questions don't bother me when you ask them, for example. But then, you're not generally now wording the questions in such a way to tell me I'm the size of a house either. . .
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