Okay, so I have a 5 1/2 year old, a 3 year old, and a 5 week old. Most days I'm up by 6:30--not by choice mind you, but primarily because either George or Bear are awake by then. On the days that Bear wakes up first, Archer gets up with Bear so I can sleep for a few more minutes. During an average day, I am able to get a shower (I generally shower at night to ensure I do get one), get dressed, and make at least one meal. I have been to the grocery store, to my office (only once), to pick Wild Man up at day camp, and out to lunch with my entire family. Most days, my clothes match (although I may not be altogether happy about what I'm able to wear right now), and my hair is brushed. I gained about 30 pounds, and through no effort other than breastfeeding, I only have about 10 pounds to lose (no, I'm not back in my pre-pregnancy clothes, nor do I think I will be anytime soon). I have managed to go shopping once (with George in tow) as I needed some shorts that I could fit into. I've also managed to submit two reports for work, read two books (for pleasure), and make notes on one project (these notes are so rough that I don't even want to admit how rough they are, but they are notes). I've ordered birth announcements (which may never get mailed), and I've had George's portrait taken. I've taken (with Archer) Wild Man and Bear to the pool, been to friends' houses for dinner, and taken Wild Man to several play dates. I'm also trying to potty train Bear. Most days I feel like I get nothing accomplished, and most days I'm okay with that.
Why am I listing all of this? Well, I had coffee with a good friend this morning, and she asked how I was doing. I said, "Fine. I've got some stuff to do for work this week as my leave doesn't officially start till next week, and I'm trying to find the time to do that." She was equally aghast and impressed, and I don't get why. I don't feel like any of the above makes me superwoman. It just feels normal for me. I am not the kind of person who can not do things. In fact, the more I stick to a "normal" routine the less likely I am to get overwhelmed and/or anxious. If I don't have things to do, I tend to feel out of control, and feeling out of control leads to anxiety, which isn't good for me. My friend implied I was doing way too much, but I don't think so. I told her, "This is my normal." It's what feels right for me, at least most days.
1 comment:
I totally get your feeling, and I also totally understand where the comment came from. You continue to accomplish a lot at a time when many people (men and wommen) usually take some time to relax, slow their schedule, etc. I think most people are used to the stereotype of a new mom just sitting around the house in her sweats, tending to every need the new baby has and leaving all the rest of the pieces to fall where they may.
I understand your normal because it's similar to mine. If I don't have a two-page list of things I want to do or have done, then I don't feel like I've accomplished anything at all. That's not to say that I'm not trying to learn to say no a little more (I've recently changed my plan to volunteer as an AWANA leader for our church) or that I don't enjoy a day where I do nothing at all. This is just to say that, especially after Amelia was born, things (i.e. mailing birth announcements, filing bills, etc.) took a bit longer to get done, the house was a bit messier, my hair was in a ponytail more often than not, and we ate Hamburger Helper a little more frequently. As long as you're comfortable with your normal, that's all that matters :)
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