We're settling in a bit, now that we have three children. Lots of people told me that the transition from 1 child to 2 children was much, much harder than the transition from 2 to 3 children. I was, admittedly, skeptical, especially given my own initial uncertainty regarding my pregnancy. I have to say, 11 days in, that the transition has been fairly smooth. There have been a few glitches. Wild Man has felt left out, and that was compounded by the fact that he went from full day camps the week of the baby's (I'm still working on a pseudonym) birth to half day camps this past week. There have been several times this week when Archer and I have been occupied with the baby, and Wild Man has played Legos by himself for 3+ hours, making for a cranky 5 1/2 year old by dinner time. Bear, however, has been remarkable. I was a bit worried about his reaction, as he is, in many ways, still babyish, but he has blossomed before our eyes. He checks on the baby, he wants to hold the baby, he sings to the baby. He is incredibly gentle, loving, and protective. Archer and I have repeatedly said to each other that we feel like we're seeing a whole new side to Bear.
As for me, I'm tired, but I'm not the dead tired I was with Wild Man, who had colic. The baby wakes up in the night to nurse, and he goes back to sleep fairly easily. I'm trying to get a nap in every morning, which helps a lot. Archer is handling almost everything with the house, which will have to change soon as he starts teaching in about 4 weeks, and that is helpful. My mom was here last week, and she was some help, although not a lot for various reasons. Yetta arrives tomorrow, and she'll run errands and pick up the boys, leaving me to focus on the baby and let Archer get some writing done. We're getting a bit more of a routine day by day. And if I get a bit more time, I'll write the birth story, as well as the 1 million and 1 other things I want to write. . . but that is for another post.
Showing posts with label baby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label baby. Show all posts
Saturday, August 04, 2012
Thursday, July 26, 2012
He has arrived!
Baby G (I'll come up with a better pseudonym soon) was born on Tuesday, July 24th. I'll likely write up the birth story later, but for now, I'll say this birth did not go as expected. My labor with Wild Man was 4 hours 20 minutes, and 2 hours and 30 minutes with Bear. Baby G was 15 hours, give or take. I was not in active labor that entire time, but that is how long I was in labor, laboring, or trying to get labor to restart before he was born.
For now, we're doing well. He has slept fairly well the past two nights, and he is nursing fairly well. My midwife thinks he is a bit tongue tied, and I am beginning to agree. He is nursing, but not as efficiently as I'd like him to be. I'm dealing with a bit of engorgement, which I'm handling with pumping, hot compresses, and ice packs. He has an appointment with a pediatrician who will cut his frenulum, if need be.
As for Wild Man and Bear, they are adjusting fairly well. We've kept them on their regular schedule, so Wild Man has been at art camp all week and Bear has been in daycare. I know lots of people (including my mom) who disagree with our decision to do this, but honestly, we want the smoothest transition for them. Having them home, while we're trying to figure out Baby G's personality would mean that they'd end up watching a lot of TV or playing without us. Keeping them involved with their regular activities means that they don't feel left out, and we can rest throughout the day as we need to. When they are with Baby G, they have been excited. Bear is telling everyone about "my brother," and Wild Man is very, very helpful. We have had some minor meltdowns with each of them, but mostly, things are going well. And I'm quite happy with our family of 5.
For now, we're doing well. He has slept fairly well the past two nights, and he is nursing fairly well. My midwife thinks he is a bit tongue tied, and I am beginning to agree. He is nursing, but not as efficiently as I'd like him to be. I'm dealing with a bit of engorgement, which I'm handling with pumping, hot compresses, and ice packs. He has an appointment with a pediatrician who will cut his frenulum, if need be.
As for Wild Man and Bear, they are adjusting fairly well. We've kept them on their regular schedule, so Wild Man has been at art camp all week and Bear has been in daycare. I know lots of people (including my mom) who disagree with our decision to do this, but honestly, we want the smoothest transition for them. Having them home, while we're trying to figure out Baby G's personality would mean that they'd end up watching a lot of TV or playing without us. Keeping them involved with their regular activities means that they don't feel left out, and we can rest throughout the day as we need to. When they are with Baby G, they have been excited. Bear is telling everyone about "my brother," and Wild Man is very, very helpful. We have had some minor meltdowns with each of them, but mostly, things are going well. And I'm quite happy with our family of 5.
Friday, March 02, 2012
The Ultrasound
I had my 20 week U/S this morning, and following the hospital's policy, the tech was not allowed to tell us the baby's sex. The radiologist will look at the images taken by the tech and then draft a report. I'll be able to call my midwife on Wednesday to get the results. I did, however, ask the tech if she got a good image of the appropriate area, and she said, "Yes, I don't think the doctor will have any trouble reading the image." Archer and I left the appointment speculating on what that means (we both think this suggests that the baby is a boy), but we'll see what we see. Following the appointment we had lunch and started debating names. As with both Wild Man and Bear, boys' names are easier for us. We have two names (nope, I'm not sharing) that we really like, although we're struggling with a middle name for one of these names. Girls' names are harder for us, for some reason. We have a list of about seven or eight, and we know the middle name will either be for Archer's grandmother or will be the same as my middle name (depending on the first name). There isn't, however, a clear front runner.
Where am I on the baby's sex? I've been thinking about this a lot. I honestly thought I'd be a bit disappointed if the baby wasn't a girl, but now that the tech's statements have both of us thinking boy, I'm feeling relief and excitement. Really, a boy would be easier. I have lots of hand-me-downs (not that I am the type of person who is opposed to putting a girl in boys' clothes), and well, our house is geared for boys. A third boy would simply enhance the chaos that is already present in our home and our lives, whereas a girl, well, a girl would enhance it in a different way--mostly, I think because of how other people would respond to us having a girl. Archer and I wouldn't need to go out and buy a bunch of pink, but some of our friends and family members definitely would. But, as Archer put it this morning, a boy would be wonderful while a girl would allow us to experience things we haven't yet experienced as parents. So we'll see what we see.
Where am I on the baby's sex? I've been thinking about this a lot. I honestly thought I'd be a bit disappointed if the baby wasn't a girl, but now that the tech's statements have both of us thinking boy, I'm feeling relief and excitement. Really, a boy would be easier. I have lots of hand-me-downs (not that I am the type of person who is opposed to putting a girl in boys' clothes), and well, our house is geared for boys. A third boy would simply enhance the chaos that is already present in our home and our lives, whereas a girl, well, a girl would enhance it in a different way--mostly, I think because of how other people would respond to us having a girl. Archer and I wouldn't need to go out and buy a bunch of pink, but some of our friends and family members definitely would. But, as Archer put it this morning, a boy would be wonderful while a girl would allow us to experience things we haven't yet experienced as parents. So we'll see what we see.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Oh, right, I'm having a baby. . .
Yesterday I ran into a colleague whom I haven't seen since the beginning of the semester. She teaches part-time in the Women's Studies department at CU, just as I do, so when we do see each other we always have a lot to talk about. Well, the last time she saw me I wasn't showing nearly as much as I am now, and I'm fairly certain I was sitting down. Yesterday I was in the Women's Studies office making some copies when she walked in. I had my back to her, and as I turned around she said, "Wow, M! I didn't think it had been that long since we've seen each other!" She then offered her congratulations and we chatted for a few minutes.
I ran into her about an hour later just as I was leaving our office (I share the office with this colleague and 3 others). She apologized for not realizing I was pregnant, and I said something like, "Oh, don't worry about it. I actually haven't told a lot of people, and to be honest, I've been so focused on my dissertation that sometimes I even forget myself." She then asked, "When are you due?" Without pausing, I said "May 6th." She replied, "That's soon! Are you ready?" And I said, "Well, I'm revising my last chapter and working on my introdcution." She looked totally puzzled, and I suddenly realized she was asking about the baby, not the dissertation or my defense. I laughed and explained what I meant and then clarified that I'm not due until mid-June.
I guess I should try harder to remember I'm having a baby as well as writing a dissertation. . .
I ran into her about an hour later just as I was leaving our office (I share the office with this colleague and 3 others). She apologized for not realizing I was pregnant, and I said something like, "Oh, don't worry about it. I actually haven't told a lot of people, and to be honest, I've been so focused on my dissertation that sometimes I even forget myself." She then asked, "When are you due?" Without pausing, I said "May 6th." She replied, "That's soon! Are you ready?" And I said, "Well, I'm revising my last chapter and working on my introdcution." She looked totally puzzled, and I suddenly realized she was asking about the baby, not the dissertation or my defense. I laughed and explained what I meant and then clarified that I'm not due until mid-June.
I guess I should try harder to remember I'm having a baby as well as writing a dissertation. . .
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Women and Fertility
This morning I clicked on MSNBC's Women's Health page, as I often do, to peruse the headlines and see if there was anything I wanted to read. I found an article entitled "Not ready for baby? Protect your fertility." Before I could stop myself I clicked on the link and read the opening paragraph:
You've yet to hear a single tick-tock, but lurking beneath your killer abs is a biological clock that will start buzzing eventually — and you can only hit the snooze button so many times.
The rhetoric of these types of articles makes me livid for several reasons. I am really tired of the rhetoric of fear that pervades all articles, news shows, and even many commercials about babies, children, fertility, and women trying to get pregnant. Most women know that if they want to have children they have a limited window. Do really need to remind them that they "can only hit the snooze button so many times?" Is is possible for a writer to invent a better (and perhaps more appropriate) metaphor? Can we have articles about men needing to have babies before they're at risk of throwing their backs out when they pick them up?
Granted this article actually focuses on proactive ways women can "protect" their fertility, but even the use of the word "protect" creates the idea of fear. This sort of rhetoric is troubling to me because it implies that women are supposed to have babies, that women who have children when they're older are abnormal, and that all women are dying to have babies. And this just isn't the case.
You've yet to hear a single tick-tock, but lurking beneath your killer abs is a biological clock that will start buzzing eventually — and you can only hit the snooze button so many times.
The rhetoric of these types of articles makes me livid for several reasons. I am really tired of the rhetoric of fear that pervades all articles, news shows, and even many commercials about babies, children, fertility, and women trying to get pregnant. Most women know that if they want to have children they have a limited window. Do really need to remind them that they "can only hit the snooze button so many times?" Is is possible for a writer to invent a better (and perhaps more appropriate) metaphor? Can we have articles about men needing to have babies before they're at risk of throwing their backs out when they pick them up?
Granted this article actually focuses on proactive ways women can "protect" their fertility, but even the use of the word "protect" creates the idea of fear. This sort of rhetoric is troubling to me because it implies that women are supposed to have babies, that women who have children when they're older are abnormal, and that all women are dying to have babies. And this just isn't the case.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Congrats to Kate and Noodle!
My dear blog-o-sphere friend Kate, of a k8 a cat a mission, gave birth to a beautiful baby girl yesterday, who has been affectionately dubbed Noodle. Congratulations Kate, TD, and Noodle! C, Wild Man, and I are so, so happy for you all. I am especially glad you had the medication free birth you so desired--and worked hard for!
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Timing
Wild Man is down for a much needed nap, and I should be using the time to work on my syllabus. I haven't worked much in the past week, primarily because Wild Man has been out of school for the holiday, but mainly because I haven't wanted to. I have to admit that while my dissertation is always in the back of my mind, I have enjoyed this week free from work with my family. We've spent the mornings in our pjs, gone shopping, read books, introduced Wild Man to "Finding Nemo," taken a trip to the nearest big city to visit the Natural History Museum, and cooked lots of good things. All of this family time has led to thoughts of another baby, which has prompted thoughts of timing.
C & I are have recently decided that we will have a second child, and to be honest this was a tough decision for me. Before Wild Man was born, I assumed we'd have 2 children. I grew up with 2 siblings, as did C, and neither one of us could imagine having only 1 child. Once Wild Man was born, however, I was no longer so sure I wanted a second child. Our life is very full, with 2 careers (or almost 2) and a child; I wasn't sure how a second child could fit. On top of that, I had no idea how hard mothering an infant would be, and I simply couldn't imagine mothering an infant while mothering an older child. C, on the other hand, has always known he wanted 2 children. He has been the one starting the discussions about a second child, which is ironic considering I was the one who initiated almost all the discussions about having Wild Man. For a few months, it felt like we changed places. As I've watched Wild Man grow and change, I've come around to the idea of a second child. As much as I can't imagine mothering an infant and the rambunctious Wild Man, I also can't imagine never experiencing the joys of having an infant in the house again. But one nagging question remains (well, actually, quite a few remain, but this is the most nagging): when do we have a second child?
This has question has been so much on my mind that I actually tried to map out the major events in our life the other night. It looked something like this:
Ideally I'd like to get pregnant with a second child when Wild Man is 2, so that they would be about 3 years apart. My niece and nephew are 3 years apart, and they are really close. That means that I would need to be pregnant in the Spring of 2009, or thereabouts. That also means that I could either be pregnant or have a newborn when I go on the market for the first time. So the ideal spacing makes other things complicated. If we wait until I have a job, we might not have a baby until 2010 or 2011, which means there would be 5 years between Wild Man and Baby 2. I don't know which makes more sense, and what really bothers me is that I don't know which feels right. I feel like we're approaching a second child so much differently than we did Wild Man, and that also bothers me. With Wild Man, we knew we were in a good place in terms of our degrees, in a good location, and ok financially, so we let emotion make the decision. We waited until it felt right for both of us. I want to be able to let emotion make this decision, but I feel like there are too many other factors to consider. I hate uncertainty, and I hate feeling like I'm not in control of my life, which is how I feel right now.
C & I are have recently decided that we will have a second child, and to be honest this was a tough decision for me. Before Wild Man was born, I assumed we'd have 2 children. I grew up with 2 siblings, as did C, and neither one of us could imagine having only 1 child. Once Wild Man was born, however, I was no longer so sure I wanted a second child. Our life is very full, with 2 careers (or almost 2) and a child; I wasn't sure how a second child could fit. On top of that, I had no idea how hard mothering an infant would be, and I simply couldn't imagine mothering an infant while mothering an older child. C, on the other hand, has always known he wanted 2 children. He has been the one starting the discussions about a second child, which is ironic considering I was the one who initiated almost all the discussions about having Wild Man. For a few months, it felt like we changed places. As I've watched Wild Man grow and change, I've come around to the idea of a second child. As much as I can't imagine mothering an infant and the rambunctious Wild Man, I also can't imagine never experiencing the joys of having an infant in the house again. But one nagging question remains (well, actually, quite a few remain, but this is the most nagging): when do we have a second child?
This has question has been so much on my mind that I actually tried to map out the major events in our life the other night. It looked something like this:
- Spring 2008: C on job market; C gets job offer (at least I'm keeping my fingers crossed on that one).
- Summer 2008: We move.
- Fall 2008: C begins new job; Wild Man starts new school; M frantically tries to finish her dissertation; Wild Man turns 2.
- Spring 2009: M defends her dissertation.
- May 2009: M graduates.
- Fall 2009: M goes on job market, hoping to either find a job close to C's current job or to get a partner placement at C's school (assuming, of course, that we like the location of C's job); Wild Man turns 3.
- Spring 2010: M gets job offer and/or partner placement.
Ideally I'd like to get pregnant with a second child when Wild Man is 2, so that they would be about 3 years apart. My niece and nephew are 3 years apart, and they are really close. That means that I would need to be pregnant in the Spring of 2009, or thereabouts. That also means that I could either be pregnant or have a newborn when I go on the market for the first time. So the ideal spacing makes other things complicated. If we wait until I have a job, we might not have a baby until 2010 or 2011, which means there would be 5 years between Wild Man and Baby 2. I don't know which makes more sense, and what really bothers me is that I don't know which feels right. I feel like we're approaching a second child so much differently than we did Wild Man, and that also bothers me. With Wild Man, we knew we were in a good place in terms of our degrees, in a good location, and ok financially, so we let emotion make the decision. We waited until it felt right for both of us. I want to be able to let emotion make this decision, but I feel like there are too many other factors to consider. I hate uncertainty, and I hate feeling like I'm not in control of my life, which is how I feel right now.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Welcome!
My good friend Sarah, who blogs at Mommy, Ph.D., welcomed her baby girl into the world on Sunday. Baby AB, as I believe Sarah is calling her in the blogging world, is a beauty, with long, graceful fingers and a head full of dark hair. Welcome to the world, little girl!
Friday, April 06, 2007
New tooth, sitting up, and chunky thighs
It has been an exciting week for S--he is sitting up on his own, he got a new tooth, and his chunky, chunky thighs make it impossible for me to put pants on him. We went to a state park today to admire the wildflowers, and I wanted to dress him in his very cute blue jeans. The blue jeans went on easily, but when I sat him down on the floor to play while I finished getting ready, he toppled over. His jeans were too tight on his chunky thighs for him to bend his legs properly so he couldn't sit up. I laughed so hard I cried, and then I changed my chunky baby's clothes.
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