As an about-to-be-nursing mother, I feel compelled to respond (albeit belatedly) to the controversy surrounding a recent issue of BabyTalk magazine. A recent cover featuring a baby nursing, raised the ire of many, mainly, it seems, women. While I haven't begun nursing and, therefore, don't know how I'll feel about nursing in public myself, I am astounded by the number of people who continue to view breastfeeding as a sexual act. What is remotely sexual about feeding your child?
I have lots of friends who have nursed their children; some of them are comfortable nursing in public, some of them aren't. But I don't care whether they nurse in public or not, and I can't believe anyone else would either. In fact, it makes me more uncomfortable when a nursing friend leaves the room or goes to the car to nurse than it does to have the friend nurse in front of me. I don't want my friends to feel they can't feed their children in my presence; I'm much more concerned with their comfort than my own. The people who describe a breast that has a nursing baby attached to it as a sexual object seem to be missing the point of breastfeeding. It isn't erotic or sensual; it's necessary. I'm not bothered by C potentially seeing the breast of a nursing mother, and he's not bothered by another man potentially seeing my breast when I'm nursing.
The editor responded to the controversy by saying that "There's a huge Puritanical streak in Americans." Do we have to blame the Puritans for everything? As a scholar of 19th-century American literature, I know how influential the Puritans were (and continue to be) on American society, but we can't hold them accountable for all of our phobias. What about the Victorians? the politicians? the people who want to cover up nude statues? What about our own idiotic phobias about the human body? I feel certain (although I have no proof to back it up) the Puritans were more concerned with killing off the Quakers and Native Americans than they were with women breastfeeding in public.
7 comments:
What about the Victorians?
My Victorians have the entirety of prudery and pornography to answer for. Can't the Puritans keep the "onoz it's a baby on a breast"?
:)
Amy
well, as in, sexual prudery and, in response, more pornography than you can, well, shake a stick at.
*ahem*
Frankly, I think it is complete bs that we have to "blame" someone for our own hangups. Clearly the Puritans and the Victorians have influenced how we view the human body, but come on--do we really need to go back 400+ years to understand why we don't want to see someone breastfeeding? Can't we just be grownups?
Can't we just be grownups?
Not as long as boobie jokes are the norm of every locker room in the world.
And I'm talking corporate gym locker rooms here. Most high school boys know better.
I've never understood the problem with it. It's a source of *food*! There's nothing sexy about a baby eating from its main food source! But we've developed this whole anxiety about the female body and we refuse to let it go.
And the worst part of it is that it makes the mothers feel anxious. That can't be good for the baby, no?
Ciao,
Amy
PS getting close, huh? :)
I'm all for women breastfeeding their children whenever and wherever they need to. That said, if a woman prefers to breastfeed in private--say, in her car rather than in an uncomfortable chair in a noisy restaurant--that is her choice. For you to say that bothers you is to deny her that choice.
I think a woman should nurse in the place you feels most comfortable, whether it is in a car, a dressing room, a restroom, or at home. When I wrote "In fact, it makes me more uncomfortable when a nursing friend leaves the room or goes to the car to nurse than it does to have the friend nurse in front of me. I don't want my friends to feel they can't feed their children in my presence; I'm much more concerned with their comfort than my own," I meant just that. I don't want anyone who is nursing to take my comfort into consideration; I want them to privilege their comfort and the comfort of their children over mine.
Yes, I fully agree. Great questions at the end. I reacted to this article by posting many many photos of me breastfeeding both my sons (it was a "bloggy" protest launched by a friend of mine, Kateri, who blogs at Wet Feet). I also have another quite inflamatory breastfeeding post reacting to a short essay (which I reproduce in its entirety) in a Philly newspaper from a lawyer complaining about a client breastfeeding during a meeting. Let me know if you want the links so you don't have to go digging in my archives :)
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