I'm exhausted. Bear is getting over his third bout of strep throat since the first of the year. Last night was the first night since last Friday that he slept through the night, and for Bear, that means going to bed at 7:30 and waking up at 5 or 5:30. This morning he wanted to hang out with me so much that he woke up at 4:45. I tried to get him back to sleep, but no luck. So I made coffee, he ate some cereal, and we hung out on the couch looking at books. Well, ok, he looked at books while I tried to stay awake.
At some point, Bear climbed into my lap, gave me a big sloppy kiss, and said "Mama." I started crying. He was very puzzled, of course. It was as if in that moment everything that has transpired this past week started to sink in. I quickly stopped crying, and Bear and I continued with our morning. When Archer came downstairs about 45 minutes later, he could tell that I was upset, so he asked if I was okay. I said, "That meeting on Tuesday. Did that really happen?" He hugged me and assured me it did. I think this is going to take some time to sink in.
2 comments:
Oh dear... sometimes we wait for some things for so long and things are so uncertain that it's hard for them to sink in when finally they materialize (or seem like they will materialize).
Crying is a great relief, but it's so hard to control when it happens. I've had a hard time being able to cry last year because I don't want to do it in front of the boys. There was only one exception -- when I found out about my cat's disappearance. I cried & cried & cried. Of course Bear is too young to understand, so it wouldn't be good to scare him.
Virtual hugs for you too.
Blogger keeps eating my comments. You deserve this and I'm really happy that people at CU are looking out for you, even if they had to be secretive while doing it. hugs!
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