Pissed

As I wrote in my previous post, we're staying in CU Land for Christmas.  Archer called his brother last night to tell him, as R was really looking forward to seeing us.  R was very understanding though, which eased Archer's guilt about deciding not to go a bit, I know.  Archer then talked to J, R's soon to be ex-wife (it is so sordid and complicated that I'm not even going into it).  He asked her what their boys would like for Christmas, and she offered a few suggestions.  She then asked what Bear and Wild Man would like, and Archer listed off a few things.  She then, apparently, said, "Well, your mom told me that if you all aren't coming here for Christmas, she is just going to put money in your checking account here.  That way you and M can get the boys what they like.  Is it okay if I do that to?"  Archer said, "Sure, that will be fine.  You could send a gift certificate though."

When he relayed this conversation to me, I was pissed.  Seriously.  How hard is it to go online and order a gift?  I've sent lists of things the boys like, items at every price range, as every single member of Archer's family has asked me to do.  How hard is it to go to Amazon and order a few items off the list?  You know, Amazon even ships to Canada for FREE!  Or how hard is it to do what my parents have done?  They shop early, so they've had the boys' gifts for a while.  My mom, who is practically agoraphobic, stood in line at UPS for 45 minutes on Tuesday afternoon to mail a package to Wild Man and Bear.  Do you know why?  Because, as she said to me, "I know how much fun they'll have opening the package, M.  Be sure to call me when you get it so I can hear them open it.  Hearing their excitement will make standing in line with all those people worth it." I said all of this to Archer last night, and he said, "I know.  You're absolutely right.  It sucks.  They just don't want to put out the effort. But I'm not saying anything because it isn't worth it."  And then I was pissed got him!

On one level, I totally understand this tactic.  I'm a big believer in choosing one's battles carefully.  But frankly, my children are openly disregarded in favor of R and J's children.  Why?  Well, they created the first grandchild, and their children live in the same city as Yetta and Pita.  In fact, that is the precise reason why Yetta and Pita will not spend a Christmas in our house--they can't leave #1 and #2.  To me, this is a battle worth fighting.  You can bet that Yetta will be braving long lines at the toy store and the book store to get gifts for #1 and #2.  She can damn well do the same thing for my children.  Or at the very least, she can know how crappy I think her plan to send money is.

As an important aside, I honestly don't care if they give Wild Man and Bear gifts.  Truly I don't.  They would be thrilled with a long phone call on Christmas morning.  But the whole explanation that putting money in our account is "easier for us" is pure bullshit.  It is easier for them.