C's office

I'm currently sitting in C's new office about to get some work done on my dissertation for the first time in weeks. Before I begin though I had to post on how large C's office is! These pictures are from a few days ago (you can see the back of Wild Man watching "Beauty and the Beast" on C's computer), but I think this captures how large his office is. Seriously, it is probably 15 by 25 feet--we could easily fit a couch in here so Wild Man had a place to take naps on days C has to bring him to campus. I didn't think you got an office this size until you were tenured! Considering that I've just learned I'll be sharing my office with 4 other people, I'm seriously jealous. I guess that is the benefit of being a tenure-track professor rather than a lowly part-time lecturer. . .

Family visits

We've been here less than a month, and we already have one family visit planned for the week of Wild Man's birthday. Yetta and Pita will be here; Yetta for the entire week, and Pita only for four days. I'm honestly feeling a bit of frustration over this for a few reasons.

• First, I have a major dissertation deadline at the end of October that I have to meet if I'm going to defend in May and graduate in August. I do not have time (nor do I have the inclination) to take the entire week off and show Yetta the sights, which, despite what C has said to me, will be what happens. Yetta will step off the plain with a list of things to do, and she will passively aggressively say "Well, whatever you need to do, but I'd really love to see X, Y, and Z. But if you need to work, I understand."
• Second, aside from that, I actually enjoy spending time with my MIL. Yes, I am aware that my comments here would indicate otherwise, but I really do enjoy my MIL. We have a fairly good relationship, and when it is just the two of us, I can talk fairly honestly with her. I am actually the one who found the cheap ticket for her, called her up, and asked her to come that week.
  
• Third, Pita called a day after Yetta purchased her ticket and asked C to find her a ticket for the weekend of Wild Man's birthday. Now, Pita has internet access and has the ability to search for tickets herself, but she never does. Her presence complicates things a lot. She and her mother have a highly codependent relationship. They have to be together all the time, can't do anything without the other one knowing about it, and are highly competitive. So for the four days their visits over lap, there will be lots of comments along the lines of "Wild Man asked for me; did you hear that, Mother?" "Yes, Pita, but last night he said 'I love you, Yetta.' Did he say that to you?" It's all very annoying and tiresome.
• Fourth, food is a huge issue when either comes to see us. Both are obese and both have serious food issues. The first thing they will want to do is go grocery shopping, even if I have stocked the house to the brim with food. Yetta will graciously offer to pay for everything, and I will graciously refuse. If I can I'll figure out how to avoid taking either to the grocery store, but somehow one or both of them will end up with me. Pita will pay for her own junk food (and I do mean junk food), so there isn't much I can say to her. Yetta will slip stuff into my cart and then later she'll give C cash to cover the cost of it. That means my grocery bill will double, and I'll end up with stuff in my house like candy bars, chips, brownies, and diet soda (does anyone understand the logic of drinking a diet soda while eating a candy bar? I sure don't.). For their week long visit while I was doing research in June, they did something similar. C told me he spent the entire week policing the food they tried to give Wild Man. They don't understand why we don't just give Wild Man whatever he wants or that we are consciously not using food as a reward or as a comfort. We both want Wild Man to not have an emotional relationship with food. I'll be tense the entire week about food.
• Fifth, Pita is already asking me what we're planning to do for Wild Man's birthday. In all honesty, after the huge party we had last year, I want it to be low key this year. On top of that, we don't know anyone here. We may ask Blue Eyed Girl, the neighbor Wild Man has played with a few times, and her baby sister Brown Eyed Girl to come over, and we may ask Dr. and Mrs. Nice Guy and their teenage boys. But that would likely be it, and it may just be the five of us. I want it to be low-key, mainly because I don't really have the energy for anything big right now. And, as I said, I'll be a week or so away from a major dissertation deadline, so I don't think I'll be up for huge party. They are going to be disappointed with my plans, and you can be I'll hear about it.

All that said, at least C's family is planning a visit. I have no idea when my family will come. My mom did actually get her passport, but neither my father nor brother have. In fact, my father has pointedly refused to get one, telling my mom (I refuse to talk to him about this because really, I don't need any more stress in my life) that he can't afford to take time off to visit us so why get a passport. This, incidentally, is an outright lie. I know how much money my parents make, and while Yetta is in a much better financial position than they are, my parents are not paupers by any means. My dad is retired and is currently working full-time, and my mom works as well. They can afford to take a week off and the airfare to the nearest major U.S. city (which is about $500 cheaper than flying directly into CU Land and only about 120 miles away). My mom has told me she wants to come visit at Christmas, but convincing my dad is another story. My sister does have a passport, but her kids don't. That isn't such an issue in my mind, however, as my sister may be moving about 6 hours away in the near future. I know if she's that close we'll see each other a lot more.

So family visits are a huge issue right now. C's family's visit will bring lots of complications with it, but again, at least they are already planning a visit. Oh, and the questions about our next visit to Home State have already begun. . .

Our new home

Here are some much requested images of our new home, specifically images of the main floor (the town home has 3 floors). Notice the kitchen curtains, which I made one day while Wild Man took a nap. Please ignore the laundry in the middle of the living room; C took these as I was bringing laundry up from the laundry room to fold it and put it away. Wild Man is watching Beauty and the Beast in the background, a film he's been obsessed with for almost 2 months now. I'll try to post images of the bedrooms once we finish painting our bedroom and my office.

Odd things in CU Land

Some things in CU Land are just strange odd to us. This is an image of one such strange thing. Can you tell what it is?

*Both Jennie and Supadiscomama guessed right! This is a bag of milk, although it isn't organic. I still can't justify the $8 for organic milk since Wild Man goes through a gallon and a half in a week. In the province we live in, milk is sold in bags. We purchase 4 liters at a time, which is a bit more than a gallon. The milk is divided into 3 separate bags (so about a liter and a third in one bag) and packaged in a large bag. The grocery stores sell these open pitchers, and apparently most people just put the entire liter bag in the pitcher and snip off the end of the bag, pouring the milk straight from the bag. We, however, are using a more traditional plastic pitcher; we pour the entire liter into the pitcher, which has a lid.

More odd things to come!

Play dates and naptime success

This morning Wild Man and I had our first Canadian play date. One of our new neighbors has a little girl, and they graciously invited us over to play this morning. Wild Man had lots of fun playing in his new friend's play kitchen. In fact, he's had lots of fun playing in play kitchens recently, so much so that C and I are planning to get him one of his own for his birthday. I had a nice time as well chatting with our neighbor and her friend, who has a little boy 9 days younger than Wild Man. We played for two hours, and then we walked home for lunch. Wild Man played so hard that he was falling asleep at the table! So today, for the first time in weeks, he went down for a nap at his normal naptime and without putting up any fuss. I'm off get some work done while he's down.

I have a new hero

Add Christina Applegate to the short list of celebrity women I admire. Applegate, who is only 36 years old, was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. In an interview with "Good Morning America," Applegate announced her decision to undergo a preventative double mastectomy. I admire this decision for a number of reasons, and here are a few.

• Applegate works in an industry that values beauty above everything, and she has willingly "sacrificed" a part of that beauty for her health. She has decided to have reconstructive surgery, but with this decision, she is saying that her health and her life are much more important than her boobs.
• Applegate is going public with this very private decision. To me, this shows that she isn't concerned with her image; rather, she wants to let other women know that this decision, which many individuals and doctors often view as radical, is a viable option. While others on the Situation have argued that celebrities have a responsibility to the public to disclose when they undergo certain medical procedures, namely fertility treatments and plastic surgery, I am not so sure I agree. They are, after all, people too and are entitled to keep their private lives private (although I would argue that the moment you show up at a club opening not wearing panties you have relinquished your right to privacy). I don't believe Applegate is under any obligation to share this information, but I do believe her decision to share it will help many other women facing a similar decision.
  
• She is going so much farther than simply putting a face on the disease. Many celebrities have been open about their battles with various illnesses. By talking about her decision to have a doulbe mastectomy, Applegate is attempting to change (or at least I hope she is) the public's view of breasts. Consider this: she is famous for playing Kelly Bundy, the sexy, buxom nymphette who would have flashed anyone her boobs. Now she is letting it be known that she had said boobs removed to prevent her cancer from recurring. She is much, much smarter than her roles would suggest.

For these and many other reasons (remember when she personally bankrolled the musical "Sweet Charity" because critics lambasted her and the producers wanted to pull out; not only ws the musical a success but she was nominated for a Tony), I am adding Christina Applegate to the short list of celebrity women I admire.

Early Morning

This morning Wild Man woke up at 6:30, and he promptly asked C, who went to check on him, "Hold you, Mommy. Hold you, Daddy." In Wild Man-ese, this means "Father, I'd like to get in bed with you and Mother." Since Wild Man has been waking up between 5:30 and 6:30, we've taken to letting him get in bed with us (another bad habit we'll have to break at some point, but as we've all been through a lot these last few weeks, I happen to think a little family snuggling is in order!). Generally Wild Man snuggles between C and me, by which I mean he takes over the majority of the bed while C and I struggle not to fall off. He then goes back to sleep for at least 45 minutes. This morning, however, he was more interested in whispering secrets to me, so I decided to get up with him, allowing C to sleep in--something he allowed me to do Friday morning.

And you know what, I don't even care that Wild Man woke me up so early. I don't even care that I was up until well after 11:00 helping C put together a desk that had no written directions, only a very complicated diagram. We had to take it apart twice before we finally got it together! I don't care at all. And would anyone like to know why? Because last night, for the first time in our new home, Wild Man did not struggle to go to sleep at all. In fact, he willingly followed our traditional bedtime routine, and he fell asleep by 8:00 precisely. On top of that, he slept straight through the night! I swear I can do anything when I've had 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep. I'll happily wake up with him every morning at 6:30 if he goes to sleep without fuss and sleeps through the night!

Getting to know CU Land and other random thoughts

Yesterday, C, Wild Man, and I did some exploring in CU Land. We found a wonderful farmer's market that is open all year round. I am especially excited about the market as groceries are somewhat more expensive here than they were in Southwest College Town. There was a particularly lovely meat counter (yes, I realize it is odd for me to talk about a meat counter as lovely) with organic meats that are cheaper than the two grocery stores we've visited. Organic milk and yogurt has been cut from the budget though, as it is double the cost here. This means we'll be able to continue buying organic produce and some organic meat. The market also has a nice bagel shop, so we may make having breakfast and shopping at the market our new Saturday morning ritual.

There is a nice riverside park within walking distance of the market, which has lots of nice flower beds, a splash pad, and a playground. We took Wild Man over in the hopes that he'd burn off some energy, but he's been unusually shy in public recently. Today, we decided to continue our explorations, so we visited a local historic site, which includes an actual 19th-century village. Both C and I felt sure Wild Man would have lots of fun wandering around the buildings, seeing the animals, and running through the pastures. He, however, hung very close to us. He actually preferred to be held than to walk. He began to loosen up after the 30 minute wagon ride around the entire site, but he is still being much more cautious around new people than he's ever been. Of course, when we stopped at the small cafe in the village for lunch, he immediately drew the attention of a very pretty 4-year-old girl named Alexis, who promptly asked us if she could talk to the "cute boy." Once she checked with her mother, we invited her over to our table. She tried to get Wild Man to talk, but he steadfastly refused, preferring to bat his eyelashes at her from underneath the brim of his baseball cap. When she returned to her table to eat her lunch, Wild Man began hollering at her "Lessis, come play!" We tried to get him to use his inside voice, but to no avail. He continued to holler at her, embarrassing her and making her parents laugh. He, of course, didn't want to leave after that. Apparently it takes a full belly and an attractive older woman to bring my son out of his shell.

C and I are both feeling more comfortable in our new home. Each day we've discovered something new about CU Land that we really like, so a lot of my anxieties are slowly evaporating. Wild Man is also getting more comfortable, and his napping is improving. Both C and I realized that he seems to have stayed on Central Time; he's waking up around 7:15 or so, which is an hour later than usual (although he's actually waking up at 5:00 and going back to sleep with a little coaxing). He isn't falling asleep until 8:30 or so either. So I'm no longer certain he was (or is) regressing in terms of his sleep. I think he may not have adapted to the new time zone. For the past two days, we've moved nap time back about 45 minutes, and both days he's been asleep within 15 minutes, giving C and I some much needed time to ourselves.

Next week I finally get access to my office, which I'm sharing with someone, and to CU's library. I have a list of about 20 books I need to check out so I can move on to my next dissertation chapter. Somewhere in the middle of everything C needs to find time to write lectures, I need to start rereading the novels I'm teaching, and I also need to finish my Phelps chapter. Getting back to work will feel good, though. I think it will make me feel like we're really getting settled.

Battle of the Wills

As we speak I am involved in a battle of wills with my son. For the past hour and forty minutes he has been refusing to take a nap and I have been trying every method I know to get him to take a nap. Sleep has, once again, become an issue in our house, and frankly, it is making me, once again, feel like a failure as a mother.

Wild Man has been out of school for exactly one week, and every single day in our new home I've fought with him either to take a nap or to go to sleep at night. Yesterday afternoon I was in tears. Monday night he refused to go to sleep until he was so exhausted that he finally fell asleep at 9:30 sitting up in the corner of his crib. Today I started our normal naptime routine at 12:40; the routine was interrupted because he told me he had to poop so I rushed him to the potty (we're giving potty training a shot on top of everything else). After he successfully pooped on his potty, I laid him down on his mat and began to rub his back. It quickly became apparent that he was not going to sleep, and since C was at CU, I was left to deal with it myself. I left him alone in his room for 5 minutes, only to return to find that he had emptied an entire box of wipes. Wild Man generally naps on the floor on a quilt as this has been what has worked for us in the past, but after that, I put him in his crib and let him cry. I then checked on him every 10 minutes. When C got home, about 20 minutes ago, he tried, unsuccessfully, to get Wild Man to calm down and go to sleep. He is still standing up in his crib crying for me, but frankly, I'm spent. I do not know what else to do. I told C that we've been keeping him at home fulltime for a week, and I'm already exhausted. I just want him to take a decent nap so he isn't impossible to deal with in the afternoon. And, frankly, I need a break in the middle of the day to get some work done and to recharge my own batteries. I know he is just testing his boundaries, but I'm at my wit's end. I feel like a failure.

*Wild Man fell asleep shortly after I wrote this, and at C's insistence, I took some time for myself. Granted, I ended up wandering around Home Depot looking at light fixtures and paint, but I still needed some time away. We had a nice dinner, and Wild Man fell asleep with out incident by 8:20. C and I talked about the nap time frustrations, and he thinks part of the problem is that I've been trying to put him down too early. He typically doesn't go to sleep until 1:00 when he is at school, so tomorrow we're backing nap time up 20 minutes and C is putting him to sleep.

I'm tired

That sums it up. The last week has been a blur of unpacking, running errands, and filling out paper work. I said it before: moving to another country is a pain. We've filled out so many forms at various places that it is ridiculous. On top of everything that I'm trying to remember (new address, new phone number, new email, new directions) I now have to remember the Canadian equivalent of a Social Security number. Oh, and the room in the house that is now my office is tan with a weird pink stripe down one wall. Have I mentioned that I can't wait to paint it?

I have a kitchen!

This morning C and I plopped Wild Man in front of the TV, let him watch Beauty and the Beast all the way through, and organized the kitchen. I have absolutely no guilt about letting my kid watch an hour and a half of uninterrupted TV either since I can now cook dinner without searching through cabinets that my brother-in-law (he flew up before Wild Man and I got here to give C a hand with the unpacking) haphazardly organized.

Tomorrow we have to figure out a desk for C as we sold his before we left Southwest College Town. Once we do that, he can finally unpack all his books, which puts us one step closer to order. We're taking it easy, at least for us. C got a lot done before we arrived, so we really only have organizing to do. I figure we'll be all set in about 2 weeks, give or take.

Leaving

Wild Man and I leave Southwest College Town today. We're heading to the nearest big city where we will stay with a friend overnight. We fly to CU Land tomorrow. I have to admit that I'm ready for this to be over. This experience has been exhausting--mentally and physically. It feels like I've been tearing off a huge bandaid as slow as possible, and frankly, I'm ready to be done.

I want to say something to all the friends I didn't have time to write a tribute to, particularly Sarah and Amy Reads. I wish we had been able to spend more time together recently, but as John Lennon sung, "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans." I hope you both know how much I love you and how much I will miss you. This move is, as I've said many times, bittersweet. I'm so excited about what we will find in CU Land, but I'm very sad to be leaving Southwest College Town.

I also want to add a note to my virtual friends, particularly Jennie and Lillian. You've both been so supportive that I find it hard to believe I've only met Jennie once and I've never met Lillian. You're both very dear to me, and I hope to continue our virtual friendships for a long, long time.

And as both Amy Reads and P-duck said to me yesterday, this isn't good-bye.

To L

Dear L:

As with all the other tributes I've written in the past few weeks, I find myself struggling to write yours. As you know, I'm rarely at a loss for words, so I'm just going to write from the heart.

In many ways, your friendship was so unexpected. On the surface, we have little in common except the fact that we were both pregnant at the same time. In fact, we met because of our pregnancies, and our friendship initially focused on our children. You were my "mommy friend." Wild Man and R were so much alike as infants that I knew I could turn to you after I had endured 5 sleepless nights. You wouldn't just sympathize--you could empathize, as you'd likely been up almost as long (or even longer with R). Being able to talk to you about how exhausted I was, Wild Man's struggles with sleeping, my desire to stop breast feeding even as I loved to do it, and so many other things has been wonderful. Frankly, I'm not sure I could have survived my first year as a parent without you to talk to--at least not with my sanity in tact.

As our boys grew, so did our friendship. I look forward to our daily emails, weekly breakfasts, and pool sessions. As your wonderful husband said to me a few days ago, leaving is hard because our friendship came so easily, so naturally, so effortlessly. I'm also sad to leave because I feel like we won't get an opportunity to know how close we could have become. But I know that isn't true, either. I know we will continue to talk daily, to cheer each other's parenting successes, and to help each other through the frustrations.

Love,
M.

Oxymoron

Dear Oxymoron,

Writing your tribute has been difficult as well, my friend. But difficult in ways that writing the previous tributes were not. When I think of you, Oxymoron, I find myself not wanting to cry but smiling. I find myself thinking of all the outrageous moments we've had together, and I realize there are far, far too many to count. So, in your honor, here is a list of our top ten moments.

M & Oxymoron's Top Ten List

10. Our first beginning of the year party in Southwest College Town: you joked that you needed someone to count the number of beers you were drinking to ensure you didn't get intoxicated and then try to talk to any professors. Mid-way through the evening, you and C were standing around the keg (yes, even faculty parties in Southwest College Town include kegs), and I walked over and said: "Oxymoron, that makes 3, so be sure you don't talk to any professors now!"

9. Fussee hommes!

8. Movie night with the Mormon missionaries: "We're already familiar with God, and we're getting to watch a movie. Could you come back later?"

7. "Oxymoron, could you please close your curtains before you take off your clothes?"

6. Shirley Manson & Freddie Mecury, not to mention a wine-swilling Cyndi Crawford, Wham!, and Ozzy Osbourne

5. The Listening Room

4. Beer Bongs

3. Your naked ass, along with Harrogate's and C's, pressed up against my sliding glass door, followed by you scrubbing my sliding glass door with Windex.

2. "So, I think I knocked up Mrs. Oxy on the day that you and C announced you were pregnant. . ."

1. Balls, balls, and more balls

These memories will keep me laughing for a long, long time. Thanks, Oxymoron.

Much love,
M.

Empty, but blessed

Our house in Southwest College Town is empty, except for the few things we need to make it through the night. Tomorrow, we will get up, have breakfast at our favorite restaurant, take Wild Man to school, and then C will hit the road with our two cats and our turtle. I will then clean out our rented house and take some things to our friends' house, with whom Wild Man and I will be staying until I finish teaching next week.

C and I had a long talk today. He has asked me (well, actually he shouted it because we were both feeling a lot of frustration today) to try to change my attitude about this move. I've been, as most of you know, emotional for the last few days, and that emotion has had more of an impact on my husband than I realized. He thought I was angry with him and blaming him for the move, which couldn't be farther from the truth. Admittedly, right now, I'm not thrilled with the idea of moving, but I do know this is the right decision for our family. CU is an excellent place for C to begin his career as a tenure track professor, and if things continue to work in my favor, this may also be a really good move for me professionally. It is hard to leave people I love so much. But I am so proud of C. He has worked so hard for this, and I really do like CU Land. It is hard to remember that as we say good-bye. So for the rest of my time in Southwest College Town, I'm going to try very hard to remember how blessed I am--blessed to have a wonderful husband and son, to have a terrific group of friends who have become my extended family, and to have really supportive "virtual" friends.

Packed

Other than a few odds and ends, we are packed, and frankly, I am amazed. Two men packed the contents of our entire house in just over 8 hours. Even more amazing, C received a phone call from the person driving the moving van, and the moving van will be arriving in CU Land late Saturday afternoon. This means that we will have furniture by the time Wild Man and I arrive next week. C called me with this news as I was leaving the gym, and my entire mood changed. I went from anxious to somewhat relieved. Now I do not have to figure out how to keep Wild Man occupied for any length of time in an empty three-story town home. C will be able to set Wild Man's room up for him, which will make the transition much easier on him. Now I don't feel like I'm putting him through something horrific.

The Movers . . .

. . . have arrived, and they are methodically packing our house. In the 2 plus hours they've been here, they've already packed our entire kitchen and living room. It is equally nice and disconcerting having someone else do this for us.

I'm thinking and feeling lots of things right now, but my primary concern is Wild Man. He was fairly upset this morning when I left to go teach, and C said he had to stay with him for about 20 minutes before Wild Man was willing to go to his teacher. He apparently kept asking for me, and C thinks Wild Man thought I was going away. That is a fair assumption. He did see me putting clothes into a suitcase this morning. My plan this afternoon is to keep him away from the house as long as possible. Judging from the way the guys (did I mention there is only 2 of them) are packing, I'd say they'll be done by 6:00 or so, if not earlier. I know it will be disconcerting for him to see boxes everywhere, but I'm hoping he'll be able to deal with that better than seeing people packing up all of our things.

P-duck

Dear P-duck,

I've been thinking for days what I wanted to say to you before I leave, and I'm still not sure what I want to say. There is so much to say that I'm having a hard time getting it into a letter.

We've been through a lot together--both good and bad. We've held each others' hands through some fairly awful experiences--car accidents, deployments, and sick babies to name only a few. I want you to know that I wouldn't have had it any other way. I wouldn't have wanted to have anyone else by my side, and I was so glad that C and I could be there for you and Mr. P-duck when you all needed us.

I hope you know that we will be back in Southwest College Town in an instant if you ever need anything.

I love you, my friend, and that really says it all.

M.

To Harrogate

Dear Harrogate,

Yours is the second in the series of tributes I have planned in the next week, and given your relationship with Supadiscomama, it seems appropriate that yours should follow hers.

I love you, my friend, because, despite (or perhaps in spite) of your cynicism about all things political you always manage to find the best in those you love. Your inability to see or even say anything negative about those you care about is so wonderful, and as much as I have mocked you for it, it is the thing I love best about you. But there are so many things I love about you, and I want to share a few with you.

• You are always happy to offer a hug, and as a hugger myself, I appreciate that.
• You constantly remind me that I, in fact, can do what it is that I've set out to do at Southwest College.
• You are one of the few men I've ever met who is willing to let me (or any of your female friends) cry on your shoulder without showing any signs of discomfort, and you often join me when I need to cry.
• You laugh, love, and live with your whole heart.

I want to share one of my fondest memories of you, Harrogate, keeping in mind that there are far too many to count. The day your son was born C and I visited you and Supadiscomama at the hospital. As I held Supadisco-T in my arms, several of our friends asked me about my decision to give birth Wild Man, with whom I was about 6 months pregnant at the time, without medication. The discussion got uncomfortable, and I was upset by it. I tried hard not to show it because I didn't want to take away from the obvious joy you and Supadiscomama felt. But as C and I left, I remember that you pulled me aside and you said, "M, ignore them. If that is what you want to do, you can do it." I will never forget that on one of the happiest days of your life when you had so much more to think about you took a moment to encourage me. I will miss being able to walk down to your office for that (sometimes daily) dose of encouragement, but I know you will continue to offer it up in other ways.

Love,
M.

Supadiscomama

Dear Supadiscomama,

I'm writing this to you because I know that you will tell me to shut up if I attempt to tell you any of these things in person. And frankly, I don't think I could get through this without dissolving into tears if I attempted to tell you in person.

I remember the first day we met, almost 5 years ago now. Your then boyfriend introduced us, and over lunch during orientation we chatted about grad school, life in Southwest College Town, and moving. I doubt either of us realized how close we would become and the life experiences we would share in the next five years.

I could go on and on the things we've done together (too many margaritas and cosmos to count; shopping for shoes and then baby clothes; wedding showers and baby showers; Sex and the City finales and premiers; disagreements and reconciliations; lots of gossip and even more laughs). I simply want to tell you that I will miss you more than words can express. I will miss everything about you, my dear friend, from your blunt way of putting things to the tender way you pick my son up to the way you inspire me to get to the gym. Most of all I will miss just talking to you.

As we have done so many times in our relationship I will rely on Sex and the City to say what I find I cannot say.

In Season 6, as Samantha is battling breast cancer, Carrie tells Petrovsky the following: "Samantha is my friend. She's my family. My insides. She will be fine because she has to be fine. That's how important she is to me." That is precisely how I feel about you.

Love,
M.