So I promised some info on the recent Thanksgiving trip, and this is the statement I want to start with. C (and my older sister) heard this statement several times during our trip to Home State, and I, the one who breastfeeds, didn't hear it once. My friend Sarah pointed out that I likely didn't hear it because those asking it realize that the question would irritate me, and she is correct. Following her advice, I'm trying to see the people who put this question to C as aware of my feelings, but admittedly, I'm having a hard time with that. First, why do so many people care? I mean Wild Man is only 13 months old--is it so offensive to our family to see me breastfeed my 13 month old that they have to ask C this question not once, but several times. I'd also like to think that if this question were phrased in the right way that I might not get angry. My dad, for example, asked my sister: "How long do most women breastfeed?" which is very different than the above question. If he had asked me this question, I would have been happy to have a conversation about what Wild Man's pediatrician recommends and what the American Association of Pediatrics suggests. But he didn't ask me this question. My mom, in her ever so tactful way, did ask me a related question: "Do you mean you don't give him a bottle at all any more? I'd think that would be an easier way to get him to sleep than letting him nurse . . ." I ignored her because, really, what else was I supposed to do?
But all the questions have got me thinking about when we will wean, and I can't come to any decisions. I have a lengthy (about 8 days) research trip coming up this summer, so I know I will have to wean by then. But beyond that, I don't want to think about it. Furthermore, I'm not under any illusions either--I want to keep nursing my son. I think he would be fine without it, but I wouldn't.
But the bottom line is why do so many people care about my breasts?
2 comments:
But the bottom line is why do so many people care about my breasts?
That's the only question that counts. Why the heck should they care? It seems to me like you're planning on doing what makes sense for you. That should be good enough for everyone around you.
I'm glad not too many people asked that question. After the boys were two I never breastfed them in public anymore, so many people didn't even know that they still nursed. I think this outside pressure is one of the main reasons why so many women simply internalize that babies should be weaned at 1 and just do it. I think it's really sad because extended nursing is just so wonderful! Well... I think it's not nice to "impose" my view on people either, so it's very hard to find a balance.
I do feel so passionately about breastfeeding that I find it hard not to just be aggressive about this subject! I just tell people things like "Did you know that the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding to the age of TWO and beyond?"
It's a hard subject I guess, from both sides of the fence...
I do agree that it's ridiculous that other people need to express their opinions about the way you're choosing to raise your son.
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