It's 6:30 in the morning, and I'm up early, as usual, to get some work done before C and Wild Man wake up. But I've been up much longer than usual this morning, and I haven't been working. I've been worrying about labor. I'm finding it odd that I'm worried about labor with my second pregnancy since I wasn't really worried about labor when I carried Wild Man. I have quite a few concerns this time, though, and most of them are connected to my ability to have another unmedicated birth.
I'm worried because I haven't done any of the preparation I did when I was carrying Wild Man. My whole world has centered around my dissertation and taking care of my son that I haven't set aside the time to prepare my body for labor. This concerns me, and apparently, as he revealed at our most recent appointment with my midwife, it concerns C too. With Wild Man, we took Bradley Method classes, we did relaxation exercises every day for about 5 months, and I exercised daily. This time around, I've managed to start walking as the weather has gotten warmer, and I certainly spend a lot of time chasing Wild Man. Other than that, I think we've practiced our relaxation techniques twice, and I haven't done any of the ab or back exercises I did last time. I have been doing kegels quite regularly, so that's a bonus. I'm not worried about my mental ability to handle the pain. But I'm really worried about my stamina. I'm just not in the physical shape I was in when I carried Wild Man. I'm worried if I have a really long labor I'll get exhausted.
C and I talked about this some last night, as well as with my midwife. We have come up with some solutions. She thinks its fine for me to start exercising more now, and by exercising more she means taking walks. As she put it, it's a bit late in my pregnancy to start doing more than that, especially given how many braxton-hicks contractions I'm already having. C also broke out our Bradley Method book last night and started re-reading it. He asked me a lot of questions about what worked for me last time in terms of pain management, and he pointed out a few things that didn't work. Starting this weekend, I'm going to make more time for me--even if that means I set aside 20 minutes--to do my exercises. This is something that is really important to me, almost as important as finishing the dissertation. So I need to quit worrying about it and do some things to get prepared.
3 comments:
well, you aren't starting from scratch. Not only are you more prepared mentally, having done this before, your body remembers, too. you just need to remind yourself. Starting now is a good idea.
come to think of it, I need to be doing something since I'm going all unmedicated this time. hmmm.
Well, my 2 cents are the following, first, elaborating on what Anastasia said, not only your body knows what to do, but second labors do tend to be shorter precisely for the same reason.
I didn't really "prepare" much during my pregnancies, I just knew I didn't want to be medicated and it worked out great in the end. I was in the hot tub during most of the labor, though, and that helped immensely. I only came out to push both times.
I do understand your concerns and I don't want to downplay them, but I'm pretty sure you'll be OK. It is a great idea to get started on exercising and also relaxation, you're doing your part (even if much less than last time) and it should be OK.
While I was exercising a lot through pregnancy, I think the reason I was able to have an unmedicated birth was because all the people around me were committed to it even when at times during the labor itself I wasn't. I had very clear directions in my birth plan (and I had many copies floating around, to the point that sometimes I'd look up right before my next contraction and realize several people were reading it between contractions) so that when I was feeling like I couldn't do it, they knew what to say and how to encourage me so I could make it to the next contraction.
You can do it. And let's say for some reason you can't (complications, whatever) -- you'll still be an awesome mama. I know I couldn't hold that perspective while pregnant, but now looking back it's easier to feel that way. I'm still a natural birth advocate and if I do it gain I'll want to do it naturally again, but at the same time I think we mothers need to give ourselves more of a break and not feel so bad, no matter how it all goes.
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