Pita sent Archer an email this morning via FB in which she wrote something along the lines of, "Why don't you ever like the comments I post? I see you can like everyone else's comments but mine. I also say how much I love you. Why don't you like my comments?" It was, however, a bit more aggressive. Archer opted not to respond, but a few hours later she sent him another message in which she wrote, "Are you ignoring me?" He responded briefly, but he did his best not to engage her in anything further.
I just don't get it. I absolutely do not understand how this is an effective form of communication. I also don't understand why this is something that is worth initiating an argument over. I do understand that she is a profoundly unhappy person. Instead of deal with her own unhappiness, she'd rather attack those who love her. I also understand that trying to engage in any sort of conversation about her behavior will not help the situation at all. No matter how the topic is approached, Pita will claim to be attacked, despised, hated, and any other number of negative things. It is impossible to express to her that we do care for her a great deal, but that we don't care for the drama she feels compelled to create. As she sees it, our lives are perfect, and we look down on her because she doesn't have an education, because we're smarter than she is, because she is unmarried, because she doesn't have a "fancy" job, etc.
Do I judge her? If I'm being completely honest, yes, I do, but not for any of the reasons she'd likely list. I judge her for causing drama, for taking advantage of Yetta, and for casting me as the person who has changed her brother and taken him away from their family. I judge her for the things that I believe she is actively in control of, for the things she does that make Archer's life and relationship with her and his mother more difficult to manage. I judge her for causing him stress and aggravation unnecessarily. I judge her for being a 45-year-old child who refuses to express her feelings in a healthy way, despite being in therapy for over 8 years. I judge her for using Archer as a target rather than dealing with her own unhappiness.
Mostly, I wish she'd try to have a healthy productive relationship with Archer rather than attacking him unnecessarily.
2 comments:
Coming from a family of mental health professionals...if she's been in therapy for 8 years and is still at this point, she needs a new therapist.
RL, let's just say that therapy is only effective if one is honest with one's therapist.
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