For the past month or so, we've been trying to get into a routine. During the last 2 weeks of our winter break, I mandated that we all (C, S, and me) be up, out of bed, dressed, fed, and ready to go--even if we were hanging out at home that day--by 9:00. Every morning that both C & I were home, we failed miserably. I repeatedly found myself still in my pajamas at 10:30 or later. With 2 adults home, we couldn't manage to get S ready for the day let alone ourselves. Last week, C's semester started; he is gone 2 days a week from 6:30 until 3:00 or so and one afternoon from 1:00 until around 7:00. Every day he has left the house at 6:30, I have managed to fulfill the mission I gave both of us: S & I are up, fed, dressed, and ready for the day by 9:00. I told C this and he looked at me as though I were Superwoman. He asked if S & I hung out in bed like the three of us do on the mornings that C is home. I told him we did all the normal things--we did S's "baby exercises" in bed, he nursed for 30 minutes after that (I manage to make myself a quick breakfast before he nurses, so I can eat while he nurses), and then he played in his bouncy seat while I took a short shower and got dressed. This morning, I've even managed to make the bed, wash a load of clothes, and run the vacuum cleaner upstairs--all before my online office hours begin at 10:30. Granted, C did feed the cats, make coffee, and unload the dishwasher before he left this morning. But why is it that I can get all of that done on my own while caring for S, but the two of us can't?
My explanation: I'm much more productive when I know I don't have anyone else to rely on. I don't spend half of my morning asking C for help or waiting for C to do something for me. I just do it myself. So why don't I just do it all myself when he's home? I've been asking myself that, and I have two explanations that I am happy with.
1. He needs to feel needed.
2. I don't want to do it all myself! I want us to work out a morning routine together that gets us all up and ready for the day by 9:00! I think we'll have to keep working on that one . . .
2 comments:
Also, I think having a sleepy husband and bebe in bed leads to much laziness.
Mr. Reads and I find that on the mornings our canine-bebe is especially snuggly, we really can't get out of bed to save our lives.
Ciao,
Amy
Congratulations! You actually *are* a fellow Superwoman now that you're a working, graduate student parent! You're able to accomplish everything you need to when C is gone - quite simply - because you have to. My husband said just last night, "I never imagined I could get so much accomplished in one day until the baby came along." That just comes with the territory of being a responsible parent, spouse, graduate student, etc.
As far as the whole joint effort to get out the door in time goes, if it's like what happens at my house, the issue is: holding the baby. That is, I'll have my hubby hold the baby while I get dressed, then I'm holding the baby while he's taking a shower or making breakfast for the 7 yr. old. It didn't take long for me to remember (a la my single parent days) that baby is happy to just sit in her bouncy seat and watch us do our thing sometimes. She doesn't demand someone's undivided attention every minute of the day.
But, you're absolutely right to expect that C share in morning duties (whatever they may be), regardless of whether or not you could get everything done on your own. It may take a few tries, but you all will get your rhythm down soon...At some point, you just have to, right?
Post a Comment