The Gifted Child

Wild Man is in his 6th week of senior kindergarten, and he is doing well.  He can now recognize the entire alphabet, although he continues to confuse several letters (h is often n, for example).  He is also able to pick out many short words when we're reading, words such at the, is, if, on, he, she, and I.  His math skills have improved a great deal as well.  He can now add most numbers between 1 and 10 and come up with the correct answer on his own.  He is also very curious, asking lots of complex questions about things that Archer and I struggle to answer adequately, as we want to give him an appropriate amount of information while satisfying his curiosity.  We recently had a very complex conversation about Frankenstein, for example.  He'd read a Halloween book at school and came home asking lots of questions about Frankenstein.  He was equally frightened and intrigued by the character. I tried to explain the basics of Mary Shelley's so that he would no longer be scared.  Aside from his sensitivity, I believe Wild Man is average.  There I said it.  My child is average.

I actually made this very statement to an acquaintance of mine a few weeks ago.  This woman also teaches at CU, and she has a child Wild Man's age in Wild Man's school.  She was raving about the school and listing all the activities her child is involved in, each of which is meant to enhance her education because, "well, we think our daughter is gifted."  In fact, her one complaint about the school was that it won't test children for the gifted program until they've completed grade 1.  I responded by saying I also really like Wild Man's school because I think it is a great blend of academics and creativity.  I also said that he continues to struggle with some things, and "well, you know, I think Wild Man is pretty average."  Her face was aghast, and I may have well said Wild Man was an idiot.  I quickly changed the subject, and the conversation ended shortly after that.  I've been thinking about the conversation since then, however.  I'm still struggling to understand what I said that made her look at me as though I was the worst mother on the planet.  Is Wild Man gifted?  Well, honestly, in some ways I think he is exceptional.  He has an imagination that would rival Steven Speilberg's, and he is much more empathetic than most of his peers (something that everyone comments on).  But, you know, he does most things at a kindergarten level.  Most days he can identify all of the alphabet, and most days he writes his name beautifully.  Other days, he could care less whether he identifies "h" correctly or if he writes an "r" backwards.  So, no, I don't think my child is gifted.  In fact, I think he's privileged, a fact I wish so many other parents in positions similar to mine and Archer's would realize.

What do I mean by "privileged?"  Well, Archer and I both have doctorates.  We have read to both of our boys since they were days old.  Both can recite various books from memory, and both will sit with books on their own.  Bear, in fact, tries to read books to both Archer and me.  Both Wild Man and Bear ask to go to the library and the bookstore, and they see us reading all the time.  We work on art projects as a family, and both boys love to draw, color, and paint.  We have lots of puzzles and blocks in our playroom (right along side with all of our cars, Star Wars toys, and baby dolls).  And, most significantly, I think, we constantly talk about our work in front of the boys.  Wild Man knows I am a "doctor of literature" and that Archer is a "doctor of art."  He knows that we have to write, read, and mark papers for our jobs.  He has gone to class with both of us, and he has been in both of our offices when we're meeting with students.  Both because of our travels and Archer's line of study, Wild Man and Bear know upwards of 25 Spanish words, and Wild Man is able to recognize their counterparts in French.

There is no doubt in my mind that both of my children are bright, inquisitive, and articulate.  But do I think this means either of my children is gifted?  No, I do not.  I think this means they have been exposed to different languages and cultures, as well as books, art, and, well, life, at a very young age.  I think this means they are privileged.  After all, most 2-year-olds and 5-year-olds have not visited Rome, Florence, or the Yucatan peninsula.  Few have seen the Vatican, the Colosseum, or Chichen Itza.  Not every child has the opportunity to go to plays, to libraries, or to museums on a regular basis.  Our children do.  Has this influenced their intellectual abilities?  Sure.  Does that make them gifted?  Nope, it makes them privileged.  It means they have parents who are in a position to provide them with such opportunities.  That's all.

It is likely becoming clear that I have some concerns about labeling children as gifted.  Why, you might ask?  Well, I think it sets up some false expectations on the part of the child, for one.  I also think that, try as we might not to, we are marking gifted children as better somehow than children who aren't gifted.  As an educator, I do understand the need to push students who have an inherent desire to learn and excel, but I also understand the need to push students who are struggling.  What I do not understand is the need to establish an intellectual hierarchy among children at such a young age.  I also understand that many parents want their children to be in gifted programs because such programs have more resources than the "average" classroom.  But I see this particular issue as indicative of many problems in education--why aren't all classrooms capped at 18 students, for example?  Why can't all children, regardless of their IQs, be exposed to drama and art history and computer science and music?  Why are these activities routinely only offered to "gifted" children?  Why don't we offer the same opportunities to all children, regardless of ability?  Because wouldn't exposing all children to things like this improve their abilities?  Isn't that more important than marking children as gifted?

To be continued, I'm quite sure.