Chaos

Today marks the first day of what will be a chaotic year for us.  With all three boys in different schools, Archer and I will be constantly checking our calendars and communicating about who is getting which child when.  We've worked out a schedule, but we're both sacrificing quite a bit of time at the office to forgo the cost of after school care for Bear and Wild Man.  We'll both end up doing a lot of class prep after the boys are asleep, and we'll likely have to find some time on the weekends.  We'll manage though, and we're both happy with our decision.

Community, Bus Stops, and Class Issues

One of the things I've struggled with since we sold our condo and moved into our house is the lack of community we've experienced.  When we moved last August, we anticipated that we'd get to know our neighbors and that Wild Man and Bear would play with the other kids on the street, as there are several around their ages.  That, however, did not happen.  Very few of the neighbors came over to introduce themselves, and it soon became clear that our schedules were very different from most of our neighbors (we were gone all day during the week, and our boys are almost always in bed by 7:30 or 8:00 whereas many of the neighborhood children are out playing much later).  We did not send Wild Man to the neighborhood school, which complicated things.  Over the course of the year, we met a few of the neighbors, and one of the first questions everyone asked was, "What grade is Wild Man in?"  That was followed by "Where does he go to school?"  Every time Archer and I explained that he was currently enrolled at a school close to CU and that when he started Grade 1 he would be going to the local French Immersion school rather than our neighborhood school.  The reactions we witnessed were immediate.  The people we spoke with were consistently taken aback, and everyone always tried to reassure us how good the neighborhood school is, which we know.  In fact, we chose this house because the school is so good, thinking that we'd end up sending the boys there if FI didn't work out.  But we felt judged, as though we thought we were too good for the neighborhood school.

Fast forward a year.  I finally feel a sense of community, and it is all because of the bus stop.  We've met several families through the bus stop, which is about three blocks away from our house.  While none of the families are on our street (we are the only family on our street sending our children to the FI school), all are within walking distance.  And each of these families are sending their children to the FI school for the same reasons we are.  As we got to know everyone, we learned something really interesting.  Every parent at the bus stop was a professional.  There are two lawyers, one teacher, an executive at a local corporation, another executive who commutes between CU Land and a city in the States, and a small business owner.  Moreover, two families employ nannies, and both parents work in all the families.  Also, the moms and the dads split drop off and pick up duties.  On our street, the situation is very different.  We've learned that most people on our street would be defined as "working class."  Four of the moms stay at home, one dad works with a heating company, another installs alarm systems, and another is a foreman for a construction company.  With one exception, the moms walk the kids to and from school (the school is 2 blocks away), and one mom actually runs a home daycare.  It seems, from a class perspective, that we don't fit in on this street.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this.  I do know this: I come from a working class background, as does Archer.  My dad was a firefighter, and my mom was a secretary.  Archer's dad worked in a factory (although he worked he way up to upper management), and his mom was also a secretary. Although we've both gone on to get graduate degrees and have academic careers, we were not expected to do that.  My parents wanted me to be a teacher, and Archer's parents wanted him to work at the same factory his dad did (because doing so would keep us close to them).  My point is that we're both comfortable with our roots, so to speak.  We've gone out of way to introduce ourselves to our neighbors; we've tried to coordinate playdates for Wild Man and Bear with the other kids in the neighborhood.  We've participated in neighborhood gatherings.  We decorate when everyone else does.  We say hello and goodbye, and we generally try to be neighborly.  But none of our overtures have been well received.  It's hard to live on a street in which we really don't know anyone, despite our attempts to know people.  I find myself increasingly thankful for our bus stop community every day.

Wild Man is in Grade 1!

Wild Man boarded the school bus this morning like an old pro.  Meanwhile I cried.  Bear did too, but he wanted to go with Wild Man to "ride the bus stop, Mama!" as he kept declaring.  After getting him on the bus, Archer and I loaded up Bear and George and drove over to Wild Man's school.  We wanted him to take the bus to get him used to it, but we also wanted to watch him go into school on his first day (parents weren't allowed in the building this morning).  I felt like a helicopter mom until we arrived at the school and saw a group of parents all waiting to see their first graders and kindergartner-ers getting off the bus.  A friend of Wild Man's got on the bus after he did, so they sat together and walked in together.  I felt better knowing he has a friend already.  Even if they don't end up in the same class they can play together at recess.  I was very proud of how well he handled it.  Now I can't wait to hear how his day went.

Random Stuff

Classes started this week (for me and Wild Man, as Archer is blessed with a term off from teaching), so life has been a bit more hectic than usual.  Here are some random updates.

• Wild Man loves kindergarten, but it is wearing him out.  As I wrote earlier, it is all day this year, and while the daily schedule allows for lots of playtime, he has been wiped out every day this week.  In fact, he's been asleep by 7:30 each night.
• He is very, very happy that his "best" buddy is in his class.  I'm a bit less pleased as Wild Man and his best buddy tend to pay more attention to each other than to the teacher.
• Bear is going through a "MOMMY!" phase.  It's exhausting as I am the only one who can do anything for him.  
• The librarians at CU are on strike.  In their support, I attended my first Union rally today.  
• The house is mostly unpacked.  We're currently discussing decorating/painting/remodeling options.  Do we wait, or do we start right away?
• I still haven't bought a ticket to go to my friend's wedding.  Archer had yet another conversation with Yetta again last night, and yes, he told her one more time what days I'd like to travel.  It seems that Pita has the time off, but as they want to do some sight seeing on the way up to CU Land they won't be able to get here until the evening before I want to leave.  Um, seriously?  Is it totally unreasonable of me to think they'd want to get here at least a day before so that they can get a sense of the schedule, so we can introduce them to Wild Man's and Bear's teachers, and, you know, stuff like that?  I'm done.  I told Archer I'm going by myself, as much as I don't want to go to yet another good friend's wedding alone.  
• We have some major gardening to do this weekend to prep our flower and vegetable garden for the first frost.
• I have a department party to go to this afternoon.  I really, really hate these sorts of social gatherings.  I always feel awkward and out of place, especially as lots of my colleagues have yet to introduce themselves to me, but that is the subject of another post altogether.

Senior Kindergarten

Wild Man started Senior Kindergarten today, and today wasn't nearly as traumatic on me as his first day of Junior Kindergarten last year.  He was very, very excited to be back in school.  He had his backpack and his Star Wars lunchbox (yes, I caved and let him get a themed lunch box).  He proudly showed off his lunchbox to anyone who was interested--and to many people who weren't!  This year's schedule is a bit different than last year's.  He will go to SK all day, every other day, which means Archer and I had to send two snacks and lunch with him.  I know I packed either too much food or not enough.  I carefully explained to Wild Man what he is to eat for which snack and for lunch.  He said, "Mommy, it's okay.  I'll figure it out."  As you can see, I was much more nervous for his first day than he was.

Full time

Tuesday, as we picked Bear up, his teacher said, "We have a full time slot opening on Monday and one on the 26th. Which do you want?" Even though I knew this day was coming, my heart sank a little bit. Since December Bear has gone to daycare 3 days a week. It hasn't been easy to cram everything both C and I need to get done into a 4 day work week (the way we split child care usually meant we each got an additional days worth of work, although it may have not been in the same day), but we managed, in part because child care is so expensive here and because we weren't ready to send Bear full time.

At the end of the spring term, we talked about Bear and full time care at length. C isn't getting enough work done, and he has genuine concerns about tenure (which is the topic for another post). I'm not getting any of my own work done, and I have serious concerns about ever securing a t-t job. Wild Man starts Junior Kindergarten in the fall, and will only go to daycare half days, which means we can afford to send Bear full time. We both agreed it is the best decision, especially as I will be teaching a 4-4 load this coming academic year. We spoke with Bear's teacher and she said a spot would be opening up in July or August. I expected late July, not early July.

C wants us to take the spot that starts next week, and I don't want to. He has said it is totally my decision, so I don't know what to do. It seems a bit strange to be upset about sending Bear to daycare when I've already been sending him for 6 months. He just seems to be growing up so, so fast, and given my work schedule this past year, I really feel like I've missed a lot of time with him. There are times when he actually prefers C to me, and that makes me a little jealous. I do love that he and C are so much closer than C and Wild Man were when Wild Man was 1, but that also reminds me that I wasn't with him as much when he was an infant as I was with Wild Man. Or at least I don't feel like I was. I know that in many ways I got more time with Bear, but I also felt like I was going in 14,000 different directions when he was an infant. I think I'm suffering from some "my baby is 1" blues. This year has gone by so fast. I just want him to be my baby a little bit longer.

Wild Man's first open house

Tonight we will be attending an open house for Wild Man's Junior Kindergarten program. C and I tried to explain it to him this morning, and he was a bit distraught, as he didn't quite understand that he would continue to go to his current school while also going to JK. Having an open house in March when the program starts in September seems very, very early to me. I mean, I doubt Wild Man will remember all of this come September. As for me, I'm alternately excited and sad at the idea. It hardly seems possible that he is old enough for JK.

Random Thoughts

Here are some random things I've been thinking.

• My sister, who is a 5 hour drive away, came to help us with Wild Man while Bear was in the hospital. She was helpful to a degree, but she was also inconsistent with Wild Man and overly critical of my house. Honestly, it wasn't helpful to be told my house is cluttered and disorganized. I also didn't enjoy being told I don't have any taste.
• Pita was here last week to meet Bear, and we had a great visit. This visit reaffirms my belief that she is much easier to get a long with when she isn't with her mother, but that is a separate issue altogether.
• Bear's birth certificate finally arrived, which means we can travel out of Canada with him. We're finalizing plans for our trip to Southwest College Town.
• Wild Man moves up to a preschool room on Tuesday. He's spent the past two weeks transitioning to his new room. Some days he is excited to go, and others he would rather be in his old room.
• Bear slowly seems to be settling into a routine of sorts. He is taking lots of little naps and one long nap of about 2 hours during the day. I'm going my best to make the most of this nap by trying to get some work done on my fall classes. He is also ready to go down around 8:30 for the night, so I generally follow soon after. So far he sleeps for about 4 hours the first stretch and then wakes up about every 2 1/2 hours after that until 7:30 or so when he is up for the day. He is easier to get to sleep than Wild Man was and generally goes right back to sleep after nursing, so I'm averaging about 7 to 8 hours of sleep a night, although it is interrupted. C and I are taking turns sleeping in with Bear on the mornings he sleeps until 8 or 8:30. This gives us both a chance to hang out with Wild Man one on one.
  
• C and I are trying to find some time for us when we can. Generally this means when Bear and Wild Man are napping or after both boys have gone to sleep. It isn't ideal, but it is better than nothing.
• Wild Man is becoming more accepting of Bear's presence. He was really upset last weekend when Bear was at the hospital; in fact, he was more bothered by Bear's absence than by mine. He is still very dependent on me, but he has figured out that I can hug him while I'm nursing Bear, which is a big plus.
• Bear loves Wild Man. At almost 6 weeks, Bear completely lights up whenever he hears Wild Man. He smiles so big for Wild Man, and that makes me melt every time.
• Life with two children is harder than I expected, but it is also easier in some ways. I think I think it is easier because we know what to expect this time. I know Bear will be ok if I have to let him cry for a minute while I get Wild Man some milk. C knows that he will generally have to finish making dinner if Bear decides to nurse while I'm cooking. I've learned that my house can be a bit cluttered and disorganized and it isn't the end of the world (despite what my sister may think).
• Next week, I need to get more reading done for my fall courses and I have to start revising my job letter, which I drafted over a year ago. I don't want to get behind this fall, so I'm going to try to get as much done as possible.
• I also want to start organizing for our trip. This is the first time we'll be traveling with both boys, and I'm a bit daunted at all the stuff we have to take with us.
  

Wild Man's school

Wild Man will be moving up to a preschool room at the first of the month, and he'll begin visiting his new room next week. We found this out yesterday, and C and I are both very relieved. To make things even better, Wild Man will be moving into the same room as both T and D, and his teacher will be Michelle, who used to be his teacher in his current room. He loves Michelle, and he still goes out of his way to talk to her whenever he sees her. This will make the transition much easier on him. After talking with the directors, it seems their concerns were different than ours. They felt Wild Man was ready to move up, but they didn't want to add extra stress on him with Z just having arrived. I pointed out that Wild Man seemed a bit out of sorts without his best buddies; leaving him in a toddler room may be as stressful as moving him up. Thus far, he is adjusting well to his friends' absences, and he is even playing really well with the younger children, which makes me feel better. So it worked out for the best!

Back to school

Today we return to our normal routine. C is currently prepping for his first grad class (which he is more than a bit nervous about), I'm compiling a reading list for my class and revising my syllabus, and Wild Man is back at school. C and I were both a little anxious about Wild Man's return to school. After all, he has been with one of us all day every day since the 19th of December. We talked about it with him over the weekend and again yesterday. We tried to keep yesterday as close to our normal Monday routine as possible, which meant that both C and I spent some time working while the other did various activities with Wild Man. C even baked cookies with him yesterday afternoon, which he loved.

This morning, after a bit of a rough night (I think my boy is experiencing some growing pains; he woke up twice crying that his legs hurt), Wild Man woke up in a great mood. He ate a rather strange breakfast--a grapefruit and blackberries. Then he watched "Curious George" while C and I finished getting ready. He fussed a bit when I told him it was time to go. I explained that I had to go to work, and he finally said, "I go school, Mommy. See my friends." He got his boots and coat on with minimal complaint (I say minimal because C dressed him for the outdoors, and Wild Man wanted me to do it). He talked happily to us during the drive to school, but when we pulled into the parking lot, he announced "I no go to school. I stay with Mommy." C reassured him that we would stay with him as long as he needed us to, and Wild Man said ok. We were prepared to stay for a while, but as soon as we walked into his classroom, he ran over to the play area and began chasing his friend Theresa (the same Theresa who "likes to shake her bootie"). After a few minutes I told him we had to go, and he said "No, Mommy. You stay." He walked over to me and pulled me over to where he was playing, but then he went right back to playing. A few minutes later, he walked over to me and said "Bye-bye, Mommy" and gave me a big kiss. He said good-bye to C, and we left. I'm relieved that was so much easier than I anticipated.

Now I have to wrap my mind around getting back to work, and with any luck, I'll find groove in about an hour or so and get a lot done today!

Back to work

Wild Man's school reopened today, and he happily returned to his teachers and playmates. I was prepared for him to be clingy when we got there, and I informed C that we had better be prepared to wait for a while until he got used to everything again. C gave me a knowing look, but he said nothing. Wild Man seemed to know where we were going, and he chatted away on the car ride to school. When we walked into his classroom he gave his teacher a big hug, immediately ran to their toys, and started playing. We stayed for a few minutes to make sure he was ok, but after watching him dance around with his two of his classmates, slide down the indoor sliding board (face first, of course!), and talk to the hamster, we decided to go. I called "Bye" to him, and he waved at me, as happy as he could be to be back with his buddies.

Today has been somewhat harder on me though. I'm trying to work, but I keep thinking about him. Today is the first day that I haven't gone to nurse him in the middle of the day. He nursed almost every day around this time during the break, but in an effort to begin weaning (something I so not ready to do), I've decided to cut out the middle of the day session. I've reasoned that I will have to wean one day, and I'll be able to get more work done if my day is no longer cut in half. I'm not getting much done, however, and I'm seriously contemplating picking him up earlier than usual today just because I miss him!