A few moments ago, as I was snuggling Bear through an afternoon nap (he was napping while on the boppy after nursing as I read for classes next week), I suddenly had a flashback to Wild Man's first day of day care. C was teaching that day, and as I recall he taught at 8 am that semester. Thus, I got Wild Man ready and dropped him off myself. He had no idea what was going on, but as he was happy in the arms of his caregiver I essentially dropped him off and fled as quickly as I could. I drove to campus, parked my car, and promptly walked to the office of one of my best friends, Supadiscomama. I then proceeded to cry for the next 15 minutes or so while she rubbed my back--she'd gone through the same experience a few months earlier with her own son. Being in her office and knowing she (and my other friends Sarah and L) knew how I felt helped me get through that day and the next few that followed until it got easier to drop Wild Man off.
When Wild Man and I leave Bear with C next week at 8:30 or so and don't return until after 4, I will drop Wild Man off at school and then go to my office--the one I share with 4 other people, none of whom I know (or like) all that well. I don't have any place or any one to go to who will rub my back while I cry. I know I can call any or all of these wonderful friends the minute I get to my office, but I also know that won't be quite the same. That makes this whole experience just a little bit harder.
5 comments:
Oh dear, that most certainly makes a huge difference in how you can cope with this situation! I know how it feels to work with unsympathetic and unfriendly (at times) colleagues. Try to focus on the moment you come back home and spend time with him/them again. Please do.
I'm so sorry. I know you are not looking forward to next week. But after seeing how C cares for Bear and vice versa, I know they will take care of each other. Please know we are (and will be) thinking about you.
Also, request that C take photos and texts frequently throughout the day. That may help a bit.
Oh, that first day is the absolute worst. I think it will be a little easier leaving Bear and C at home vs. a drop off at school, but I feel for you nonetheless. And, you know, a teary phone call to a friend before you get to the office might help make the morning a little easier for you.
:( I second all of the above advice.
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