In January, C's leave ends, and given our teaching schedules, Bear will have to go to daycare part-time. I'm ok with this. Notice I didn't say I'm ecstatic or anything. I'm just ok. He will go three days a week, and two of those days are essential as C's and my teaching schedules overlap on those days. He will be 6 months old, and he will be going to the same school that Wild Man goes to. He will literally be a 10 minute walk from me if I decide I want to go nurse in the middle of the day. Plus, his teacher is going to be Miss M., who is Wild Man's best friend's mom. We know Miss M., and Bear likes her a lot. I'm quite pleased that he has been placed in her room as I think it will make the transition easier for him. This has been the plan for sometime, and as I said, I'm ok with this plan.
Last week we got a call from the school telling us that a spot had opened up for Nov. 30th. The person who does the scheduling for the infant rooms knows our situation and knows we don't want Bear to start until January, but as she explained it, she didn't know if any other spots would be opening up between now and January. If we wanted to ensure Bear had a spot in January, we had to take the November 30th spot. I agreed, but I made it clear that I preferred to wait. I even said if another spot opened that I wanted to take the later spot. She agreed, but I haven't heard anything.
November 30th is about 10 days away, and last night, C asked me what our plan was. He wants to go ahead and start Bear before the holiday break, especially if we'll already be paying for the spot. I, however, don't. After Dec. 7th, I will be done for the semester, aside from grading. I was really looking forward to just hanging out with Bear before the holidays and MLA. The thought of taking him to daycare, whether it is November 30th or later, makes me sick to my stomach. As I told C, I'm feeling all the things I felt when we started Wild Man in daycare. I know Bear has to go in January, but I don't want him to go any sooner than that. C seems to understand, but I can tell he isn't pleased. I know he'd rather start Bear so that we could both get a lot of work done in December and not be so stressed out at the start of the semester. He also said he thinks it is a good idea to get Bear exposed to the school to start building up his immune system. He makes a good argument, but then he does what he always does with these kinds of decisions. He said, "But if you want to have him home with you, that's what we'll do." I don't know what to do.
2 comments:
Hi M. I can completely understand you not wanting to start Bear before you have to. And I can also understand why C would want Bear to start if you're paying for the spot--also, maybe he feels like he needs a little non-childcare provider time for himself as he prepares to get back into full-time work mode.
Maybe you can compromise. C keeps him at home until Dec 7th and then when you're finished with your semester you spend your time with Bear...when you feel like you need a little break (to work on job apps and prep your spring classes, or to go shopping, get a haircut, etc.], you send him to daycare for a few hours, or a day, or whatever. Once you're with him all the time instead of missing him whenever you're at work, you may be ready to start him sooner than you think. I used to miss Luke when he was at daycare and I'd go to pick him up early, and I swear sometimes we were not even out of the school parking lot before I was wondering what the hell I was thinking picking him up early! The other thing with easing into the process slowly is that it will give you both time to adjust instead of do or die in Jan when you won't have the time to be relaxed about Bear's transition.
I can say with absolute certainty that whatever you decide, Bear will be just fine.
I second Jennie's opinion that things will be fine no matter what.
Bear's immune system is already exposed to all sorts of things that Wild Man and you and C bring home from your respective schools. Perhaps the school will work with you on a compromise and you could take Bear one day a week so that you both get to adjust to the situation (Jennie also already said as much).
Follow your heart--if you want the extra time with Bear then enjoy it. They grow up so quickly; if you want the extra cuddle time (and diaper time, and crying time, etc.) then enjoy it.
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