Yetta and Pita (who is
recovering very well) arrive for a visit late Monday afternoon. They are bringing two of their friends with them, as they are doing quite a lot of sight-seeing along the way. I was under the impression that they would be in CU Land for the entire week, taking day trips while Bear and Wild Man are in school and Archer and I are working and spending the afternoons and evenings with us (or with the boys). They are, in fact, leaving bright and early Thursday morning. I don't know if I can effectively express why, but I'm really annoyed. Here are a few reasons.
- For the last few weeks Pita has been telling Wild Man very excitedly about this visit, and he is, thus, excited. Right now it seems like she and Yetta will be spending 3 evenings with him, probably around 12 hours. He is going to be really upset when he begins to understand how short their visit is.
- Yetta isn't even staying with us. She is staying at a hotel with the travel friends. While this makes life easier on us in a lot of ways, it further limits the time she has with the boys.
- Yetta has already made several comments about how she never sees the boys and how she is so excited to see them, but that she hates that it will be such a short visit.
Clearly, seeing the boys is not the primary purpose of this visit, which is fine. They are entitled to take trips that are not associated with visiting us. But don't get my children all excited about a trip in which you won't be spending much time with them. Don't complain that you don't know Bear at all and then plan a trip to see him which will not enable you to develop that relationship further. Oh, and don't plan a trip for the school/work week and then get annoyed that Archer and I will be working and Wild Man will be in school. I'm trying really hard to focus on all the positive things (yes, including the fact that my teaching schedule means I won't have to spend much time with them), but this isn't going to be an easy trip for Wild Man, who loves Pita and Yetta dearly. He is going to be upset when he learns that Yetta isn't staying at our house. It is going to be equally difficult on Bear, who has a hard time adjusting to strangers. He will not want to go to them, and they will not be here long enough for him to get used to him. Archer and I will also be regaled with comments like, "Well, why doesn't Bear like me? I don't understand it. Wild Man would come right to me at this age."
I can't believe I'm writing this, but I really wish they were staying longer. Yes, that would be more stressful on me, but it would be so much better for Wild Man and Bear.
3 comments:
I hear ya...
Mr. Pduck's parents haven't seen Baby B since he was 4 days old (granted they were gone for 2 months). At this rate, they won't see him again until his baptism on Halloween. Neither of Mr. P-duck's brothers have met James. Both live 3 hrs away. My brother flew out labor day weekend just to meet his nephew and play with his niece. My parents just left from another visit.
I thought, apparently erroneously, that the closer family members would be excited about the newest family member.
Well, you'll note I'm not exactly raving about the number of times my own parents have seen Bear and Wild Man lately. I will say, though, that when my mom does come to visit she stays for a substantial length of time, usually a week to 10 days. She also does not want to do anything but be with us and the boys.
As I wrote, I get wanting to take a vacation and sight see. Yetta and Pita have done this where ever Archer and I have lived--used us as a home base for a series of day trips. It was fine then, but now that we have the boys, it isn't fine, at least not in my book.
Bottom line for me: don't complain about not seeing your grandchildren when you're not making it a priority to see them. Especially not if, like Yetta and Mr. P-duck's parents, you're retired and have an abundant amount of free time to visit your grandchildren.
"don't complain about not seeing your grandchildren when you're not making it a priority to see them."
This is my in-laws. They actual think the solution is for their daughter to move back home instead of them getting off their butts to see her and the kids. The complain to me about it all the time and it bothers me! They pull the same thing with my husband (I know they don't want to see me, they make that clear) and it annoys me. We live 45 minutes away and it's a huge ordeal, they'd rather we live closer. Um, no thanks.
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