Moving Forward, Part 2

Moving forward after the debacle of interviewing for a position that I was repeatedly assured was mine has been harder than I thought.  At first, I experienced what I think are normal emotions: shock, anger, betrayal, confusion, more anger.  I'm trying hard to move forward.  To that end I've done a number of things that I didn't have to do, but that felt essential to maintaining my own sanity.

First, I've severed as many ties as possible with RD, without burning any bridges.  To accomplish this, I've had my name taken off of their website, and I've also had my primary affiliation on CU's website changed (this one necessitated a few phone calls).  I've relocated offices--this one was only possible because Dr. Writing, who has also had tenuous dealings with RD throughout her time at CU, understood why I didn't want to be in that department.  I've turned in my mailbox key.  I've removed my name from the faculty directory and my door.  All the while, I've thanked the staff, who have always been kind and cooperative, and I've also made sure to be courteous and polite with any RD faculty members I've had to deal with while accomplishing these tasks.  For the most part, this has been easy as the faculty members in administrative positions don't seem to be the ones who had issues with this appointment.  It likely also helps that the dean spoke directly to RD chair and told him to help me move my stuff without any question.  In fact, I think the dean, who graciously offered to have guys from the physical plant move all my boxes to my temporary office, made RD chair find the money in his budget to cover the cost.

Second, I've tried to get back to work.  I'm revising an article, which I hope to send out by next month, and I am working on an anthology proposal with two lovely colleagues, who also happen to be dear friends.

Third, I'm trying hard to focus on the positive.  I will likely end up with a T-T job once everything has settled down.  Given the state of the academic job market, securing such a position at the same university where Archer teaches is no small feat.  Plus, we're settled in CU Land.  This has, as I've suddenly realized, become home.  I really like it here.  That simple fact has enabled me to move past a lot.

I am dealing with some a bit of an identity crisis, though.  On Friday I found myself in tears after I realized that staying at CU likely means I will never teach a course in my primary field of research.  Yes, I will likely be able to focus on certain authors I study, and I will definitely be able to incorporate the genres I focus on.  But I may never teach another course on the Survey of Underwater Basket Weaving.  That was a bit hard to swallow.

For right now, I don't know what the future holds.  I know we'll be here next year.  Beyond that I can't say.  If I was asked that question a month ago, I likely would have said, "Oh, we'll be here indefinitely."  I has not in a place to even think about going back on the job market, nor was Archer.  Now I don't know.  We're taking things one day at a time.

Wrapping Up

Today is the last day of our trip, and Archer and I are taking the day off from research.  Despite everything that transpired at the end of last week (was it really on a few days ago?  It seems like a lifetime in many ways), we've made the most of our time together.  His research proved to be very productive, and it now looks like he'll get an article out of the things he found.  He also now knows the images that he thought existed do in fact exist, so he will have to return to secure image rights for his book project.  For me, the research has been a bit more frustrating.  I came having no idea what I would find.  I was hoping for something specific, and while I didn't find what I was hoping for, I did uncover some interesting biographical things about an author I work on.  So now I have to figure out if what I discovered is at all significant which means doing a lot of research into secondary materials. 

As for the job stuff, my conversation with Dr. Writing and Dr. Rhetoric revealed about what I had expected.  Research Department (not the chair or the other member of the committee, it seems) used me to make a point, and that point is that they want nothing to do with partner-placements or joint appointments.  Fine.  They could have made that point without putting me through the ordeal of an "interview."  I meet with the Dean when we return, and we'll see what we see.  The Dean is pissed (D's words, not mine), and D is committed to securing a T-T line for me.  I have lots of questions, and I want answers before I say where I'd prefer to be appointed.  I am not leaving Teaching Department, but I know the Dean is leaning toward having me joint appointed in another department--one which I've worked in before and has a history of valuing partner-placements. 

Oh, and Dr. Writing has moved mountains (literally of books) so that I do not have to spend too much more time in my office that is located in Research Department.  Archer and I will move my stuff to my temporary office early next week.  It will be a relief not to have to be in that department in any way whatsoever.  I am also going to schedule an "exit interview" with Research Chair.  I feel that RC owes me some answers.  I realize I am not likely to get any satisfaction out of this meaning and that I will probably just get upset.  But if seeing me makes RC uncomfortable in anyway whatsoever, I'll take some joy in that. 

Good news

Yesterday's meeting was good.*  It was, in fact, as J predicted "all good."  CU is offering me a one-year term appointment, which is equivalent to a visiting position in the States.  The following academic year the position will most likely convert to a tenure-track position.  The dean used the phrase most likely, but when pressed, he said that he has already written the position into the budget and that he is 99% certain it will convert without an issue.  He also explained why the process has taken so long. 

First, as I said in the previous post, he is new to this position having taken it over from the previous dean who was all but fired.  It seems the previous dean was essentially living in Crazy Town (I've heard this from more than one person, although the current dean didn't say anything like that at all) and refusing to take the matter seriously despite Dr. English and Dr. Writing pursuing this option for almost 2 years.  Second, the current dean wanted to arrange the position so that he didn't have to run a search.  Because CU is unionized, every position must be advertised, even positions that are understood to be earmarked for specific individuals.  While the term appointment doesn't have to be advertised, the tenure-track position would have to be advertised, so the dean go the permission from the Union to convert the position (provided the funds are still available) without advertising.  This means I don't have to worry about interviewing.  The job is mine. 

There are still some details to iron out, but it will be a joint appointment between writing and English.  I should have all the details in the next two weeks, as well as a contract.  He asked about our interviews, and I was honest.  I said I have an on-campus that I have committed to going to.  Archer told him his initial interviews went well.  Archer also said that if this offer had been made two weeks ago that he may not have gone to the initial interviews, and I said I certainly wouldn't have accepted this on-campus.  The dean apologized for the delay.  Given that he's only been in the position since Dec. 31st, all of this has moved at lightning speed, for academia at least, and Archer and I are both aware of that. 

So where does that leave us now?  Last night I was seriously considering pulling out of the interview.  I mean, it seems really unlikely that SLAC is going to be able to offer anything comparable to this in terms of partner placement.  If I do get an offer and SLAC is able to offer Archer something, the pay will be substantially less, and we'll be teaching more.  That isn't such an issue for me, but it is an issue for Archer.  In every way, it would be a huge step down for him.  But I talked to Dr. Writing today for her advice, and she said, "Go on the interview and get the job.  Yes, it's a risk for us, especially given the school's location, but it also gives Dr. English and me more leverage.  You can be assured we will go back to the dean and argue that the position should be offered as tenure-track now."  I really like this woman.  She has gone to bat for me (and essentially my entire family) a lot.  I know that there is something in it for her (she point blank told me today that she sees me as instrumental in a new major that she and Dr. English are trying to develop b/w the two departments), but she still has gone above and beyond for me.

As for the other schools and the possibility that we could get offers elsewhere, Archer and I talked about this a lot last night, too much in fact.  Here is where I stand.

• For me, the "Ivy" is off the table except as a bargaining tool.  This school will not offer me anything given my research profile (in a lot of ways, I'm freaking lucky that CU has offered me this position).  As attractive as "Ivy" is (and for me, the location is extremely attractive as it is the same city that our best friends live in), I don't want to give up what I have at CU to start all over again.  Archer agrees.  If he's offered an on-campus, he'll go, but if he's offered the job, he would likely use it as a bargaining tool for him and his department.  And we both realize that he may feel very, very different if he actually gets an offer.
• The SLAC is also unlikely.  We spent a lot of time looking at the website today, and while it has some really great programs, it is very small.  Archer would be giving up a lot--research funding and graduate students, to name a few.  I wouldn't have graduate students either, but as I've never had graduate students, that isn't as much of an issue for me.  The location is really attractive.  It's equal distance from my extended family and our families in Home State.  It is close to several of our good friends as well.  I'm going to the interview with an open mind b/c if I fall in love and they can come offer Archer something I do think we'd consider it--especially as, even though we'd be taking a big pay cut, the cost of living is so much lower.  That said, it is primarily attractive for personal reasons, not professional ones.
• PS, the private school close to Home State, is still an option.  Archer should know by Monday or Tuesday whether he gets an on-campus, and if he gets a job offer, this is a school we'll have to seriously consider.  The pay scale is comparable to CU's, and there is a fair amount of research money.  Archer wouldn't have graduate students, but I would.  It is also in a phenomenal location in terms of friends and family as well as in a key location for both of us to do a whole lot of archival work. 

But for now, I'm feeling really happy.  If nothing else happens, we know we will be in CU Land.  And I can live with that.  In fact, that makes me really happy.  As I wrote yesterday, CU Land feels more like home every day.  I think being happy professionally will go a long way to alleviate the loneliness I experience from time to time.  I already feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.   I know how impossible it can be for an academic couple to find work at the same university, especially given this economic climate.  Even if I suck up my interview next week and Archer hears nothing from the two schools he interviewed with, we have the security we've been working for.  I also have a job as an Assistant Professor--with my own office as of July 1st!!  That is pretty damn awesome.

*I'm sorry that I didn't post this yesterday for those of you following my career drama.  Bear is getting over strep, and he was a bit of a bear last night, no pun intended.