My mom

My mom has been visiting all week.  She arrived last Friday, and the ostensible purpose of the visit was so she could be here for Bear's birthday.  When she arrived, she seemed to be in good shape.  She was coherent, she was engaged, and she was present.  She did mention that she has an appointment with a neurologist early next month as she has been experiencing some facial ticks that neither her psychiatrist nor her G.P. can figure out.  I took that with a grain of salt as she has been under a lot of stress with her mother's death and some of my sister's and father's health issues.  I immediately thought that perhaps the ticks are due to stress.  We had a fairly good weekend, so I said to Archer, "You know, Mom seems to be in good shape.  I think she's doing well."  By Monday, it became clear, however, that she isn't doing as well as I thought.

She spent the morning house hunting with us, and by the afternoon, she was exhausted.  She kept asking the same questions over and over again.  When we took the boys by the house we really liked, she literally did not remember having been there less than 3 hours earlier.  On Tuesday, she went with us to complete the paperwork to put in an offer on this house, but she sat in the car and slept.  Wednesday she came to campus with me to help me unpack my office, which I finally have a key to.  She fell asleep while I unpacked and organized, and eventually she asked me to take her back to my house.  Keep in mind that Wednesday was Bear's birthday.  We had planned to order pizza and have cupcakes, as we'd already had a small party for him over the weekend.  When we arrived home after getting the boys, we found her still asleep.  She'd taken a 3 hour nap, and she complained throughout the evening of not feeling well.  She woke up yesterday with a cold, and she stayed home while Archer and I went to work and looked at more houses.  This morning she went with us to look at houses again, but she stayed in the car for much of the morning.  She is now back at our house resting.  Tomorrow she goes home, and I'm really concerned about her ability to make it on the shuttle and through the airport, as she really doesn't seem to be with it.

Let me add a few things.  My mother, as I've written before, is not a social person.  She endured our good friend's daughter's birthday party last Saturday, as well as Bear's on Sunday (there were 6 children there, including Bear and Wild Man, along with 5 other adults).  She went house hunting even though that is not her thing.  She played with the boys a lot last weekend, but since Tuesday she has basically sat on the couch.  She keeps calling Wild Man Bear and vice versa.  She's called me by my sister's name about 10 times.  If she had just seen my sister, I wouldn't find that so troubling, but she hasn't seen my sister since February.  When I correct her, she honestly doesn't seem to realize her mistake.  I last saw my mom in November at her mother's funeral, and she looks like she has aged 5 years.

I'm really worried about her.  I know that her medication for her bipolar does cause some memory loss, but this memory loss seems extreme.  She doesn't seem to be capable of doing anything for herself, and more to the point, she doesn't really seem interested in anything.  I tried to talk to her about all of this, and I don't even know if she understood the questions I was asking her.  Aside from all of that, I miss my mother.  This person is so different from the mom I grew up with that in many, many ways I feel like I've lost my mother. I no longer know who this woman is, and while I cannot begin to imagine how she must feel, that is almost unbearable to me.

I have so much more to write, but for now, I'll just say has been a really rough week.