Wild Man and I have a "grooming" routine every morning. He plays in our bedroom (rearranging books on a bookshelf or chasing the cats under the bed) while I get ready in the bathroom adjacent to the bedroom. In the past few weeks, he has become seriously interested in watching me blow dry my hair and put on what little make-up I wear. The day he started reaching for the blow dryer while it sat on the sink was the day I started pretending to do his hair and make-up. I pretend to put mousse on his hair, and then I actually do blow-dry it. He loves feeling the warm air in his face, which totally cracks me up. A few days after we started this routine, I noticed he was intently watching me while I put on mascara and a bit of blush. So I broke out a spare (and make-up free) brush and swept it across his cheeks. Wild Man threw his head back and giggled. Now, every morning, I give him the full treatment--everything that I do to my face I pretend to do to his, and he loves it.
Yesterday morning, C witnessed this routine in its entirety for the first time; he'd seen me do Wild Man's hair, but not do his make-up. My normally liberal husband was a little taken aback. He point blank asked me if I thought the routine was a good idea. I point blank asked him why he asked that question. He said it seemed a little odd. When I asked him to elaborate on odd, he couldn't. I then pointed out that Wild Man has no idea what make-up is or why I wear it but C doesn't. I then reminded him that Wild Man has stared at C with the same intensity when C shaves. I think Wild Man is just trying to figure out what it is we're doing. I don't think it has any gender/sexuality implications. Wild Man doesn't even know he is a boy, for crying out loud. My dad used to cover my face in shaving cream and give me a razor (minus the blade) and let me shave my face while he shaved his; that didn't have any adverse affects on me (although I have no idea what such adverse affects this could have on a little kid). I said all of this as I mimed applying mascara to Wild Man. When I was finished, Wild Man toddled off to pick up his newest toy: a truck that he picked out himself.
The conversation made me realize something: my husband has some gender hang-ups. Although he didn't say it, he was clearly thinking "boys don't wear make-up." Wild Man has carried my purse around, played with dolls, and tried to put on my shoes. None of these activities bothered C. But he was troubled by me pretending to put make-up on Wild Man--or was he bothered because Wild Man clearly enjoyed it--although I think he enjoys my undivided attention more than anything.
7 comments:
This is surprising - and funny - to hear...When Wild Man gets older, let C see how much fun he has putting make-up on Daddy's face!! Hubby has let H do that to him several times, and we've got great pics of him with periwinkle blue eyeshadow, thick, black mascara, and the darkest red lipstick H could find!
We have a picture of my brother wearing pantyhose and a tutu when he was about 3. ;) Of course, he had 4 older sisters!! On the other hand, my uncle had a fit because my grandmother used to paint his son's nails with CLEAR nail polish, and once his son did his own nails--with deep red! It's all part of play--and women/girls do get to play with a lot of "extra" stuff sometimes!
Academama,
I want a copy of those pictures!
Ahem, but I recall a certain Ms. M having a few gender hang-ups of her own re: putting Wild Man in a hot pink onesie ;)
i suspect we've all got a hang up or two. you just have to find them. it's funny with my husband b/c his are so...odd. He's really uncomfortable with Kizzy the more conventionally feminine she is. pink is her favorite color and she prances around in princess outfits and this completely freaks him out. so when i do a similar thing with kizzy--she hates the blow dryer but she likes to do makeup, esp her lips--I've gotten the same sort of "do you really think that's a good idea" reaction from my husband. for different reasons, of course. He's worried she'll mature too fast. I say lip gloss is not sexuality.
anyway, I think you're right...they are just figuring out what we're doing, spending time being near us, mimicking our behavior, trying it on. I think it's perfectly harmless.
One time when I was little, I got my dad's razor and tried to shave my face. I have forgotten the pain but I have not forgotten the blood. I always make sure that everyone's razors are placed high up in inconvenient places.
Off topic, but your story reminded me.
My husband is very anti-make-up for the little girl! Granted, she isn't quite 2, but he's not going to pass it off as not wanting to clog her pores! ;)
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