Since C has received and accepted the job offer, we've been on the phone a lot. We've had to call people we don't normally talk to and explain the new circumstances of our life. Most people have been supportive (in fact, I'm going to write a post on how we manipulated Yetta into being supportive!), but some people have asked really stupid and annoying questions and comments. Some of the questions have come from people who are unfamiliar with academia, but not all of them. So that I don't bite the heads off of any well meaning family members or friends, I thought I'd write them down to get them out of my head.
- Why are you moving there?
- Why didn't C apply to a school closer to me?
- When will we ever see you again?
- What will Wild Man do? (this is one of my personal favorites; as if Wild Man himself must now find work in our new location! Won't he just continue being a child?)
- Are you going to start working? (this query came from my grandmother, who doesn't understand what we do at all; she also doesn't conceive of being a mother as work--having children is just what women do.)
- What exactly does C do again?
- Yuck! I would never live there!!
- So he couldn't get a better offer than that?
- You know, they get a lot of snow there. (My father, who was otherwise incredibly supportive, said this, and to be fair, he has a habit of stating the incredibly obvious.)
- Will you be able to finish your paper there? (This one came from my mom, who is wholly unable to grasp the concept of a dissertation, even though we sent her and my dad a bound copy of C's. In her mind it is nothing more than the papers I used to write for college, and for that reason, she can't understand why it is taking me so darn long to finish.)
6 comments:
"Will you be able to finish your paper there?"
I have to laugh at this because, even though my family totally understands what a dissertation *is*, we all continue to refer to the dissertation as "that memo I'm writing." It just makes us laugh :)
Maybe you can put together then distribute a list of Questions To Ask Us Now That C Has Accepted a Job? This might help lighten the mood for everyone while also conveying some of the things you and C value as you make this move.
omg. seriously. I so feel you on this.
the paper thing is terrible. I finally told my MIL not to call it a paper because I just can't take it. In fact, she's sort of learned her lesson on asking about it at all.
meanwhile, she's just sure Jesus is going to find me a job in our new location that I'm greeted by a cheery, So did you find some work yet? every time we talk.
No. The answer is no. There are no jobs. It is too late in the season to get so much as an adjunct job in the fall unless one of the local departments has some kind of emergency and needs a class covered. So no. Jesus has not managed to magically materialize a job. Yes, that means that I gave up a tenure track job and I got nothing out of the deal but the opportunity to live with my family in a 750 square foot apartment. The best thing for your son happens to not be the best thing for my career and Jesus isn't going to fix it all so you don't have to feel guilty about being happy for him. but seriously, no. I don't have a job. I'm not even looking. Deal. with. reality.
Wow. I didn't realize I had all of that in me. sorry for venting it on your blog. :)
Anyway. I really love the whole "What will Wild Man do" because I've gotten that one, too. it just seems so odd. the children will continue in their present course.
Anastasia, feel free to vent away; as it happens I so get everything you just said. I'm not particularly religious, so I find it especially annoying when my MIL says things similar to what your MIL has said.
Good idea, Academama, I will do that!
Ah, yes, I'm still working on my paper too!
Your list made me laugh!! thanks!
It is even more complicated when you explain that only hubby will be moving, but that you will be keeping your job.... and working on "the paper" at the old location.
Then you get, "will you see each other?" and "why aren't you moving" (because tt jobs in philosophy aren't growing on the corn stalks at the new location...).
sigh....
I do love "what will Wild Man do?" -- and "they get lots of snow there" -- both of which are silly statements.... as if Wild Man will simply refuse to go and live in your current house by himself... and that snow is more like hot lava and thus a reason not to go....
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