At the conference I attended this past weekend, I went to a panel titled "The Maternal Wall and Strategies of Resistance and Empowerment for Mothers in Academe." Since then, I've been thinking about what it means to be an academic mother (or an academic father) for that matter a lot (as an aside, this is something I think about fairly often given the fact that I am an academic and a mother). One paper in particular resonated with me, and I'm going to attempt to distill the paper's argument.
The paper, which was entitled "Knowing When to Pretend and When to Refuse: Exploring the Complex Struggle of Pretending and Refusing to be an Ideal Academic Worker," argued that academic mothers have to stop pretending to be ideal workers. We have to know when to play the game (i.e., to present ourselves as ideal workers) and when to not play the game. One way this presenter does this is that she refuses to pretend that the familial sacrifices she makes aren't difficult. She also invokes her status as a mother when she simply cannot do something that a colleague needs (or perhaps demands) that she do. That this is a woman who works at a major Northeast research institution made her argument more significant for me. What she said made a lot of sense, and she even extended her argument to academic fathers, arguing that men also have to stop pretending.
But as she presented her paper, I had a nagging question that was making me a bit sick to my stomach. In a room full of academic women, many of whom were grad students, I was not the only one who wondered, "how does this theory work when one is on the job market?" After all, I've been told over and over again to keep my "private" life private when I'm on the market. I have assumed I would not mention my husband or my children until I have a job offer in hand. And this is the precise advice that this presenter gave when several of us asked this question. Then I thought, ok, so I have to pretend to get the job, which is just what I figured.
Then a woman raised her hand and said "I did just that, and it had disastrous consequences." This woman said she never mentioned being married or having a young child until she arrived on campus the summer before she was scheduled to begin teaching. When her colleagues discovered she had a family, several, particularly those on the search committee, became hostile, and more than one shunned her. When the woman said she couldn't attend meetings after 4:00 because of her son, her department chair told her that if he'd known she had a young child he would never have offered her the job. So, here is a woman, who played the interview game correctly, secured the job, and then was treated like a pariah by her department because they felt she'd "betrayed" them in the interview process by not divulging the secrets of her personal life. Needless to say, this story made my nausea return.
Several other women (and the only man who attended the panel) pointed out that it may be more advantageous to be honest during the course of an interview about one's marital and family status, if only to avoid taking a job in an environment that isn't family friendly. And while this makes a lot of sense to me, I'm still not sure I want to tell people "Hey, just so you know, my husband is an academic, and I have two young kids. If you don't like me for those reasons, you probably shouldn't offer me the job." I left the panel still unsure how to handle this situation, should I ever experience it first hand.
As many women at the panel, a lot of whom were tenured profs with children at large research universities, panel pointed out, this is an institutional problem. In fact, as many described situations in which their deans denied their maternity leave, I never felt happier to be living outside the U.S. But, while this is an institutional problem, it is also a problem that I (and many, many of my good friends) am likely to face personally sooner rather than later. I want an academic job, of that I have never been more sure in my entire graduate career. In fact, I have fallen more in love with my topic, with writing, and with research in the last few months. I am excited both to teach and to research, but I also want to have a life outside of academia. I want a job that offers me research support AND that gives me room to be a wife and a mother. I'm not naive enough to think I "can have it all," as I know that I will often have to sacrifice academic progress to be with my family and vice versa. I know it is possible to do this because I know lots of women who do it, my adviser included. What I want to know is why does it continue to be so damn hard for both academic mothers and fathers.
13 comments:
Oprah once said it perfectly, "you CAN have it all, just not all at once." Fortunately for me, I have not found a career that I absolutely love and am passionate about. And I don't think I ever will. Which is why I chose to go the non-academic route. This isn't to say that my job search will be any different than yours. But I think I'll have to agree with the speaker at your conference-pretend that my personal life has no impact on my work performance, that I am hot shit and I know it. Like you say, the interview is all a game both for them and for you.
I don't have a lot of time at the moment, but I wanted to add that this issue is not unique to academia but is rather applicable to all working parents. The work environment in this country asks parents to sacrifice their family for the "greater good" of the company--be that company a university or a large corporation. To me, this makes the topic even more depressing.
I don't have a lot of time at the moment, but I wanted to add that this issue is not unique to academia but is rather applicable to all working parents. The work environment in this country asks parents to sacrifice their family for the "greater good" of the company--be that company a university or a large corporation. To me, this makes the topic even more depressing.
This is really interesting stuff and I wish I had been able to attend the panel. (My own academic parenting got in the way of my attendance!) I agree with p-duck that the issues are--for the most part, at least--generalizable to the working world as a whole. But there is specific resonance for a field that prides itself on its interrogation of gender issues. Parenting isn't the issue of one gender or another, per se, but it is most certainly an issue of sex, which involves gender, sexuality, etc. So, in short, we should be better than this.
I've always found it troubling that, as academics, we don't have as concrete a structure for sick days, personal days, leaves, etc. The same fluidity that I love (work and play are on a continuum) lead to a lack of stability.
I don't know what the answer is, but I think it starts with women--and men--of our academic generation, who seem to be more willing to combine family and career, as opposed to sequencing the two.
(And, I have to note, I do take small issue with the comparison with "most of your dissertating friends." I'm so happy that you're happy, but why not just leave it at that? You probably aren't referring to anyone in specific, but we all have individual successes and stresses that crop up when they crop up.)
You're absolutely right, p-duck. Every family I know struggles with this issue.
Megs,
I edited the original post b/c I agree with what your saying. But, I didn't include that to make anyone feel good or bad about the work, but to point out (which I apparently didn't do well) that the dissertation process is all-consuming and often disheartening that many candidates often stop loving what they do, albeit briefly, while writing the damn thing.
Very interesting. As you know, I've blogged about this very topic many times before, but, to be frank, I feel like an outsider at this point. I wonder at times why was it that I even bothered to get the PhD in the end. It just makes me feel worse about everything. Anyway, sorry about the comment about me, I'm not in a good moment right now, as you know...
So, I'm glad for you that you can say with certainty: "I want an academic job, of that I have never been more sure in my entire graduate career. In fact, I have fallen more in love with my topic, with writing, and with research in the last few months."
Ironically, the second sentence (falling in love with one's topic and research) is/was very true for me, but my hopelessness about the whole academic thing just makes this love and passion more cruel.
I hope you can succeed, but then, you probably will because I think you're having the right kind of mentorship and, more importantly and unlike myself, you're in an area that is much broader and mainstream (English). Sigh. [you may remember that I was kind of "arguing" with my sister-in-law about this a while back, after she posted a link to the Newsweek article that had complit in the title].
I know that the fact that I had a family made me seem like a more attractive candidate for a teaching oriented job in the upper midwest. They wanted someone who would be inclined to stay and someone who wouldn't be looking at their small-town existence wondering about night life. I think it does depend on the type of institution. I certainly didn't keep that a secret. And, in fact, I wouldn't keep it a secret, but that's mostly because I need to be in a family friendly place. If they can't at least deal with the idea that I have a family, it won't work.
A few issues that have not been discussed:
First, the hiring process is separate from the working process. There are certain questions that Departments cannot ask you though they do. When I interviewed, my former Department Head asked me about whether or not Megs was in academia (The Department Head knew about Megs and Sweet Toddler J since I needed to reschedule the interview because of J.'s early arrival.) I said she was taking a break from writing though. But just to answer this question, seemed like a strike against the school. Yet, she asked because of the larger issues involved as it is never about hiring one person unless that person is single.
The point: if the Department asks these questions of you, you may not want to work there. When I went through the interview process, the Universities that were family friendly stated they were; the Universities that were mainly concerned about research and the development of the department, er, I mean knowledge, also stated so. There were little surprises and applicants typically know this before applying to the school, or, I should day, when researching where to apply, the applicant needs to understand the environment of the University. If the women at your panel felt blindsided about trying to dictate the terms of the Department, it seems that she may have some unreasonable expectations.
Second, while the University possesses values that require transparency the legislation regarding discrimination diminishes that transparency. This may be a good thing as it protects academics from being turned down if they have a family. Consequently, the legislation shifts the burden from the Department to the Academic in such a way that if a person with a family wants to be at an R1 and they are good enough to be there, then they will need to be make the choices about spending time being with family, researching, and other hobbies throughout the year and not just during the semester.
I know many professors at R1 who are at the top of their field and attempt to balance family life with research. Sometimes they are successful, sometimes they are not. But this balance depends not only on how one spouse devotes time to research but whether or not both spouses are in academia, the personality structure and the ambition of the individuals, whether one develops certain research initiatives (developing relationships or special programs with other Departments, special civic programs, other service requirements etc...,). the scenarios never end.
Third, at some point during the interview process-- whether or not this occurs when one receives an offer or before there is a discussion of an offer-- you need to address the spousal hire. Right now, with the current economic crisis, this will be a major concern for Departments. Securing funding for one position will be difficult; securing funding for one and then partial for another will be close to impossible.
Finally, about the woman who played the game and got burned by her department: there is so much we do not know about the circumstances since there was only one viewpoint and conferences usually bring our self-aggrandizing. We do not know what she said in the interview, such as her availability during the week or that she is very flexible, and then, once hired, said she cannot meet on these days or these times, which could cause so many problems with department services (faculty meetings, the hiring process, meeting with students, research, teaching), university functions, etc.).
I would argue that the Department Head would not just have stated he wouldn't have hired her because of the kids for just having a kid- there must be other problems with duties and responsibilities that the presenter did not disclose. It seems unwarranted and if this is a Department Head at a major university it seems like a stretch for the kid to be the only reason.
Further, not mentioning at all a spouse of children seems like the researching begins a position from a position of bad faith. This is does not help build the necessary trust that needs to exist in a functioning department.
Just to complicate matters, I learned at this panel that, in fact, once you're outside the formal setting of the interview (i.e., the first interview and anything that takes place off campus during a campus interview) there are no legal issues w/ people asking about your personal life. C got lots of personal questions in his many interviews last year, but now that we think about it, they all took place during the dinner or from the drive to or from the airport. This, it seems, is legally permissible.
This is all really thick and interesting stuff, but the question remains: what to do about it, both in the interview--more pressing for most of us right now--and in the job. I don't have an answer, so I'll use this as a metaphorical bump. Please let's keep thinking and talking about this so we can figure it out.
(Oh, and M, thanks for the removal, although I'd never ask you to self-edit on my account. And I really, truly am thrilled for your happiness. Your paper was outstanding, by the way. Your writing has always been interesting and great, but I immediately told solon, when I got back to the room, that I was so impressed--and, a little bit, inspired--by the smart-ness of both your work and your presentation. I feel like I don't say those kinds of intellectual compliments enough because I assume you know how well you're doing. You've totally blossomed during the diss, so you're right to feel the way you do.)
We also need to stop limiting this to just the work/family dichotomy. There are many opportunity costs throughout the day; it is not just family that prevents me from working getting work done.
Just think of all of your choices during the day. If you value being a good academic and a good member of your family, what could you give up to make yourself a better academic and a better member of your family? While it seems that we all could use 30 hour days, maybe we all need more discipline with the time that we have/
What do we do about it, Megs asked?
I think there are two ways to answer that question, and, unfortunately, I'm not sure I have an answer for either way.
1. What do we do about it as individuals? Ultimately, I think, particularly at the interview, we have to decide for ourselves, given the particular environment, how to handle it. I'm currently stressing over this particular issue b/c I'm going on the market next year as a breastfeeding mom. If I'm lucky enough to get an on-campus interview, I will have to take my breast pump with me to keep up my milk supply. So the question I'm facing is do I tell the people I'm interviewing with that I'll need about a 25 minute break at least every 4 hours, or do I not say anything and hope I can find the time to pump somewhere in private? The only answer I've come up with is that I'll play it by ear depending on the vibe I get from the particular committee. The same goes for whether or not I will mention that I have a spouse (I seriously doubt, however, I will mention that C is an academic until I get a job offer) and children.
2. What can we do about this at an institutional level? This is where I really think we have to stop pretending in order for things to change. Academics work an average of 60+ hours a week (and, although I can't find where I read this stat, I'm fairly certain the number of hours didn't matter whether one was at a "teaching" school vs. a "research" school). This work takes the form of teaching, prepping, meeting with student, grading, researching, and completing service. I do believe, unfortunately, that at certain times in our careers, most academics will have to sacrifice either time with family or time on the job to meet the needs of both parts of our lives. We need to, however, make it clear that such sacrifices are difficult and stop pretending that we don't make sacrifices, especially to our supervisors and colleagues.
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