Thursday, March 04, 2010

JK Open House and Other Musings on Wild Man

Yesterday we attended the open house for Wild Man's Junior Kindergarten program. As I've written about here, choosing the right JK program for Wild Man was not easy for us. It was complicated for all the usual reasons, but the fact that we are Americans living in Canada made it even more complex. We ultimately chose to send him to the school that is affiliated with the university's daycare. While convenience played some role in our decision (his daycare teachers will actually walk him to and from JK every day), we primarily chose the school because it is 1 of the top 5 elementary schools in our province.

That said, when C and I toured it the day we registered Wild Man, we left feeling a bit uncertain about our decision. I think most of that uncertainty stemmed from the reality that we had just registered our 3-year-old for Junior Kindergarten. Even though we have a much better understanding of the Canadian school system now, we're still finding it hard to separate what we know about kindergarten (as in, you go to kindergarten when you are 5, not 3 or even 3 and 3/4s, as Wild Man will be when he starts JK in September) with what Wild Man will experience in JK. So we went to yesterday's Open House as much for us as we did for Wild Man. We wanted some sort of understanding of what his day will be like and what the program requires of him. We met the teachers and toured the rooms. Wild Man had an opportunity to explore the room and ask questions. He also discovered that many of his friends from daycare will be attending JK at the school too. Wild Man left excited and happy, and C and I left relieved. In fact as we walked to the car, he looked at me and said, "Ok, now I know we made the right decision." I agree completely. Now that we've had an opportunity to talk to the teachers, I realize Wild Man is prepared for this, and he will benefit from the experience, even at his relatively young age. I am still somewhat concerned about how he will handle the transition come September.

While I've always been acutely aware that Wild Man is a lot like me, I've become even more aware of that fact recently. As C has told me every time I've expressed concern about Wild Man's similarities to me, this means he has a lot of good qualities. Like me, Wild Man is empathetic, sensitive, caring, and gentle. He is also assertive, out-spoken, and independent. These are the qualities I like most about myself, and I am very pleased that Wild Man shares them with me. But, like me, Wild Man also has a tendency to be overly anxious and easily over-stimulated or overwhelmed. Further, while his sensitivity and empathy for others means that he has the ability to feel for others, it also means he picks up on everything.

For example, C and I were both stressed out about the whole process of choosing a school for Wild Man, and we spoke about it in front of him several times. One night he couldn't go to sleep because he'd heard us talking. When I checked on him and asked why he was awake an hour after bedtime, he told me, "I made you and Daddy worry about my school. Mommy, I don't want you to worry about me." My 3-year-old was worried that I was worrying about his future too much. I gave him a long hug and tried my best to reassure him that it wasn't his fault that I was worried. I also tried to explain that I'm the grown-up and that C and I want him to be a kid and to not worry about grown-up things. I'm not sure he understood, but he did relax and went to sleep soon after.

On some level, I love that he wants to take care of me, but I want him to understand that isn't his job. And as I was the kid who worried about everything, I feel like I've passed this on to him. My parents never took the time to help me understand that I didn't need to worry about everything or that it wasn't my responsibility to worry about money or illness or other grown-up things. I want to try to explain that to Wild Man. I want him to be a kid. I don't want him to feel like an adult at 10, which is how I felt. I want him to know it is ok to be a little boy.

5 comments:

Lilian said...

Oh dear... I'm afraid you won't be able to "make him" not worry, but at least you'll be able to give him all the reassurance he needs that *you* and daddy will always be there for him and that it's your responsibility to take care of him.

I'm glad that you guys have realized you made the right decision. It's a great relief, isn't it?

I hope that come September everyone will have a smooth transition, most of all WM.

Kate said...

You're such a fantastic mama.

That's all.

M said...

Thanks, Kate. I really appreciate that coming from someone whose parenting I admire.

rented life said...

M, is JK and whole day or a half day? Kindergarten has changed since I was a kid--it was all half days then and now a lot of places (here anyway) do whole days.

I think Kate's right, you're a great mom. I'm glad you know you made the right choice in schools too!

M said...

RL, that is, actually, a tough question. The easiest answer is that it depends on the district. That said, all JK and SK programs in our province will be full day by 2015, so many are moving to full-day, every other day programs, alternating weeks (so full day MWF one week, and full day TTH the next week). Such a schedule makes finding childcare almost impossible, but luckily our daycare is one of the few willing and able to accommodate this type of schedule.

As of right now, Wild Man's JK program will be half-day every day, from 9 to 11:30. We'll drop him off at his daycare at 8:30. and then his teachers will walk him (and about 12 other kids) over at 8:45, and then pick him up at 11:30. He'll spend the rest of the day at daycare, until we pick up him around 4.