I want to begin this post first by writing that I am about to be uncharitable. I'm about to write about something that really, really annoys me, so if you don't want to read me be annoyed, stop now. I also want to say that I do realize that I live in Canada. Now for the real post.
I'm really, really tired of getting phone calls from relatives saying, "I want to buy Wild Man and Bear a gift, but instead, I'm just going to send you money so you can buy it for them. Be sure to buy X, as I think they will really enjoy this. Or, you can just buy them whatever you think they will like and/or need. Oh, and also be sure to take pictures of them using the gift from me that you bought for them from me and send me those pictures. Oh, and make sure your 3-year-old understands that the money being used to buy the gift is from me, not you. In fact, I expect a lengthy phone call from your 3-year-old telling me how excited he is to play with/wear the thing you bought him with my money. Incidentally, start prepping the baby for this too, as I will make comparable demands of him as son as he is able to understand the concept of a gift."
In all seriousness, I really appreciate that people want to give the boys gifts. I also appreciate that I live in Canada and shipping things here can be bit of a hassle, but really, it is neither that difficult nor that expensive to ship things here. I mean, one could buy stuff from the Canadian version of Amazon and ship a gift to the boys. It also isn't that difficult to go buy a gift, package it, and take it to the post office and ship it to Canada. I also appreciate that people want to buy the boys gifts they will like, but again, is it so hard to say, "Hey M and C, I want to buy the boys a gift. What do Bear and Wild Man like right now?" I generally say, "Well, Wild Man is really into dinosaurs, and Bear is into Little People. But both boys play with lots of different things. They both also like books, especially Wild Man. They will likely be happy with whatever you want to give them." I find this type of gift giving lazy and annoying. The purpose of giving a gift, at least in my mind, is to show that you have put some thought into buying the gift. The purpose is not to make my life more difficult.
Oh, and no, buying a gift card isn't any more helpful. They aren't teenagers. They don't enjoy going to a store and picking something out, and especially with Wild Man, taking him to a store and allowing him to pick something out could easily lead to a meltdown. They are easy to buy for. Ok, I'm finished being unpleasant for awhile.
4 comments:
I don't blame you for being upset. My sister-in-law has lived all over the place and we have never had a problem checking with her about what the boys were into and then telling her to expect a package (so we know it got where it was supposed to). Sometimes it's expensive but it's not like we seen them often or anything so we're trying to do something nice, when we can. We used to sell on e-bay and ship internationally and it really isn't too bad.
I often ship packages to the States, RL, so I know how easy it is. I can actually handle all of it until the relatives (and this is usually C's mom and sister) call and demand to know why Wild Man can't get on the phone and demand to know why he can't say thanks for X. Well, gee, he's 3, and while he's bright and articulate (if I do say so myself), he assumes that his dad and I bought the gift since we the one who either brought it home or took him to the store to pick it out. And he told us thank you when we bought it. Yes, I tell him "X is from Yetta," but he doesn't get that abstract logic yet. We do send thank you notes, but again, he's 3, so I'm the one sending the thank yous. It is all very, very irritating.
I don't think you were very unpleasant at all since your complaints are very reasonable. And the worst part is that I have a feeling this won't change, since it's your MIL... :-(
Isn't the problem of shipping to Canada that the gift will have to clear customs? I know that one is allowed to bring as gifts (and probably ship) to Canada only 60 US dollars worth in goods. I'm sure anything they buy your sons would be below this value, however...
Well... I wish you could find a way to get them to buy the gifts themselves...
Lilian, yes, the problem with shipping to Canada is that the declared value of a gift has to be less than $60 to clear customs. But, as you say, most gifts are considerably less than this. And my mom has gotten around this by splitting up what could have been a single package into two packages. It did make it somewhat more expensive for her to ship, but it saved us the hefty custom taxes.
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