We may have found . . .

the perfect house.  Seriously.  It is walking distance to one of the two schools we want the boys to go to, as well as to CU.  It is an older home that has lots of updates.  In fact, I don't think we'd need to do anything with it.  The issues: it is for sale by owner (and I have no idea how that works), and it is about $15,000 out of our price range.  It is on a really busy street, and it is set back from the road.  I have no idea how Archer saw the for sale sign.  Because it isn't in the MLS system, I can't tell how long it's been on the market.  Archer has called our mortgage broker to see what the likelihood of us getting approved for slightly more is, and we are making an appointment to go see it.  This is probably a bad idea, but if we could get the owners to come down on the price . . . I'll stop there.  I don't want to like this house any more than I already do.

New or old?

We've been pre-approved.  That's the good news.  The sort of good news is our mortgage broker is practical, and she didn't pre-approve us for the total amount the bank will likely approve us for.  She pre-approved us for what we can afford our monthly mortgage payment to be.  Why is that sort of good news?  Because it is the harsh reality of what we already knew.  We can't afford the nice homes in the older neighborhood walking distance to the really great French immersion school and to CU.  We can, however, afford a brand new home about a mile from the other really great French immersion school and a five minute drive from CU.  We can also afford a moderately nice home in the older neighborhood, probably one that has had some updates, but will still need a fair amount of work in the next 10 years or so.  Now we get our place on the market and hope it sells high.

Frustrated

So Archer and I are approaching this house hunting thing from completely different perspectives.  I'm going on a gut feeling, and he is being much more analytical.  We saw a lovely Cape Cod style home on Saturday that I love.  Is it perfect?  No, but it is a great place to begin.  It has 3 bedrooms and 1 bath (which is small).  It lacks closet space, but it has a brand new kitchen, a new roof, and a family room addition.  It has a small yard, and it is one of the two neighborhoods we'd really like to be in.  As a bonus, the basement is large and could easily be finished to make a larger family room.  Plus the laundry room has already been refinished, including new plumbing, which means we could add a second bathroom in the basement.  I liked it because we don't have to do anything to it but move in.  Does it need work?  Sure, but it doesn't need any thing done to it right away.  Any work that we would do would be cosmetic.  Archer, however, had a whole list of things that he didn't like, including the fact that it is quite likely neither Yetta nor Pita would fit in the bathroom (it is oddly laid out, so given their sizes, this is a distinct possibility).  So this started a whole conversation about what we each want in a home (and yes, we did have this conversation when we started this process, but it seems that wasn't enough to get us on the same page), and again, I'm thinking what feels right for our family (along with all the essential practical things).  He is thinking, "What could we do to improve this place and make money in 20 years?"  I see that as a valid point, but it also means he is automatically ruling out lots of places.  I have no solution for this. 

I've spent the last 40 minutes looking at houses on line, and I've discovered a few things.  If we broaden our search a bit, we can get more for our money.  We'll still be in one of the two districts we want to be in, but we won't be walking distance to the boys' school or to CU.  Given the price of gas, it would be enormously helpful to be walking distance, but we would be biking distance.  So I've got a list of a few more places to look at.  Once we see these though, I'm stopping.  I think the most practical thing is to wait until our place is on the market and then start looking.  In the meantime, I'm still frustrated.

*As an aside, I have no desire to evaluate every single home we look at based on whether or not Yetta and Pita will fit in the bathroom or up/down the stairs.  I'm just saying.

House Hunting

In my last post, I neglected to mention one of the new stresses in our life: we're house hunting.  When we moved to CU Land in 2008, we knew the town home we purchased would be a temporary home.  We had thought then, however, that we'd likely stay until Archer had tenure.  As we learned more about the school system, we learned we'd have to move sooner rather than later.  When I was first offered the full-time position at CU, we talked about moving.  At that time we decided it made more sense to stay where we are now and save up a larger down payment.  This meant, however, that we would enroll Wild Man in the French Immersion in the neighborhood we weren't thrilled with.  This also meant that Wild Man would likely change schools by the time he went into grade 2.  We weren't happy with this decision, but economically, it made the most sense.

A few weeks ago, Archer and I were in one of the two neighborhoods we'd love to live in.  This neighborhood is walking distance to CU, to the boys' daycare, and to the FI school we want the boys to go to.  I looked it up when we got home and found out it was affordable for this neighborhood (I say for this neighborhood because the homes in this neighborhood are, on average, $30,000 more than most of the homes in CU Land).  So after several long conversations, I called the real estate agent who helped us find out town home and made an appointment to see it.  The house turned out to be insulated with a formaldehyde based foam insulation, which cannot be easily removed, so we passed on this house.  But our agent came by and looked at our town home, and based on some key factors, she thinks we could get about $15 to $18,000 more than we paid for it, giving us a much larger down payment than we anticipated we'd have.  She also said the market for our neighborhood is really great right now.  Because ours is a small town home community in a nice part of town, retirees want to be in this neighborhood.  Not only are there no town homes for sale in our community, but there are only 3 for sale in this part of town, all listed at $20,000 over what we paid for ours.  So we've decided to put our place on the market.  Archer is in the process of finishing the floor trim in the kitchen, and we're going to touch up all the rooms we've already painted and paint the main floor.  Next week we'll go pick out carpeting for the top floor, and after we rearrange some furniture and pack up all our family photos (if you know me at all, you know that will be an arduous task as I have lots of family photos and that I will be a little sad not to have these things around me).  Then our place will go on the market.

That part will be the easy part.  The hard part--finding a house in our price range that doesn't need to be completely gutted in one of the two school districts we're interested in.  We've been looking, and we're slowly realizing this isn't going to be easy.

Snappy

So Archer and I are in the midst of the end of the semester wrap-up, a particularly stressful time of the year.  The past few days have been rough.  We've both been grading, and we've had lots of other meetings to deal with.  We're having a hard time coordinating schedules, so at least twice one of us has had to rush out to pick up Wild Man on days we thought the other was going to do it.  Needless to say, this means we're being much snappier than usual with one another.  Archer said to me this morning, "I don't feel like I can do anything right."  To which I replied, "I'm really sorry if I'm making you feel that way, but I feel that way too."  It's frustrating because we go through this at the end of every term, and we haven't uncovered any really methods to prevent this or to deal with the stress more effectively.  Right now I feel like I'm just hanging on until we can get through this week, and then I think we'll be able to have a conversation without snapping at one another.

Um, seriously?

It is April 17th, exactly one week before Easter, and it is snowing outside.  Yes, you read that correctly.  I think this is the winter that will never end.

Survivor's Guilt

A few weeks ago Sally Racket, which is a pseudonym for a former graduate student who recently found full-time, tenure-track employment, published a column at The Chronicle of Higher Ed titled "Survivor's Guilt."  In a nutshell, Racket writes about the guilt many of us feel upon getting t-t jobs.  You see, as she points out, the market sucks, and those of us lucky enough to get a job are acutely aware that our success is the source of stress for one of our equally qualified colleagues.  It really struck a chord with me, especially as I was in the midst of negotiating the finer points of my contract with CU.  My guilt took a slightly different form, however. 

You see, I had the good fortune to come out of program that took some time to prepare its students for the job market.  Thus, many of my grad school colleagues have secured tenure-track jobs in the last 2 years.  In fact, most of them are now in tenure track positions.  I do, however, feel some guilt about my current colleagues, especially those in the Writing Program.  You see, I will be the fourth full-time, t-t faculty member in a department of about 20 part-time instructors, many of whom have been teaching at CU for over 10 years.  I've been teaching in this department for 2 years, and many of the department members have only met me a few times.  There are two primary things that set me apart from most of my colleagues in this department: I have a Ph.D., and I didn't get my Ph.D. at CU.   You see, many of my colleagues have either an MA or their completed their Ph.D.s at CU, making them ineligible for any t-t positions that are advertised at CU in their areas.  When I was offered my position, I was very aware that I could be seen as stepping on some toes.  I am an outsider, coming into a fairly well established program.  I don't want to be perceived as a usurper.  So I went to a faculty meeting earlier this week with a lot of trepidation (and this was not the same faculty meeting I attended on Friday; I'm working on another post about that one). 

I knew that Dr. Writing was going to announce my appointment at the meeting, but I had no idea when.  She and I had talked about my concerns, so I knew more or less what she was going to say.  In order to prevent some potentially hurt feelings, she decided to emphasize the partner placement aspect of the appointment.  She also made the announcement at the very end of the meeting, which meant if anyone had questions they had to direct their questions to her or to me.  I am happy to say that, despite my extreme nervousness, the announcement was received fairly positively.  I did get a few questions about logistics, but mostly my colleagues congratulated me.  Several stopped me to tell me that they see this as a good thing for the program.  Having another full-time t-t faculty member definitely gives the program more validity, which, in turn, increases the likelihood that those who are eligible could receive similar appointments.

I'm really happy that most everyone seemed positive.  I'm still a bit concerned how things will change in the fall once my appointment formally begins, but for now, it looks like the transition will be fairly smooth. 

Faculty meeting

I'm going to my first faculty meeting since signing my contract.  Technically I haven't started the term appointment yet, as it doesn't begin until July 1st.  But even as a "part-time" lecturer, I make an effort to attend faculty meetings.  I'm a bit nervous about this one though.  I'm not sure if Dr. English will be announcing my appointment to the entire faculty today or at the end of the year meeting scheduled for later this month.  I also have a Writing faculty meeting next week, and I'm really nervous about that one.  I know Dr. Writing will be announcing my appointment then, and because of the nature of the department, I'm feeling a lot of survivor's guilt, which I'll write more about later.  For now, I've got to read some stuff before the meeting.

A washer

For those of you interested, I bought this one.  Archer insisted I get a matching pair, even though I was happy to go down a model for the dryer.  They were delivered late yesterday afternoon, and I'm already in love with them.  The only issue is that we didn't buy the outrageously priced pedestals (Archer is actually planning to build a cabinet system around them with a counter on top), so Bear can reach the dials. 

You know you're old when. . .

You celebrate getting a job by buying a new washer and dryer. 

In my hot little hands. . .

I have a contract from CU.  It feels pretty damn good to finally get it in writing.

A third child

A few weeks ago, Wild Man asked me, “Mommy, are Bear and I ever going to have a baby sister?’  Wild Man has been asking this particular question for about a year now.  He is very interested in babies, and he is especially preoccupied with a baby sister.  His most recent interest in babies was prompted by the birth of Baby Minerva, the daughter of our friends. 

Wild Man loves Baby Minerva.  The few times he has seen her he has doted on her.  He displays a gentleness with Baby Minerva that he no longer demonstrates with Bear.  Now, Wild Man loves Bear, and Bear most certainly loves Wild Man.  Their relationship, however, is one of extremes.  Wild Man is either giving Bear his favorite car, or Wild Man is holding Bear’s favorite car over his head while saying, “Oh, is this the car you want, Bear? I found it first!”  Likewise, Bear is either bringing Wild Man books so they can read together, or Bear is smacking Wild Man in a vain attempt to get Wild Man to pay attention to him.  In other words, they are siblings.  One minute they are hugging, and the next they are fighting. 

In contrast, Wild Man was sincerely interested in helping care for Baby Minerva.  He brought her toys, he repeatedly found her pacifier for her, and he even wanted to help give her a bottle.  Now, I’m not naïve enough to think that Wild Man would display this level of interest consistently if Archer and I were to have a third child.  I am, after all, the youngest of three.  Of all people, I know how much a third child can disrupt the lives of older children.  In fact, my own sister still identifies the day our parents brought me home from the hospital as one of the most traumatic days of her life (I take that with a grain of salt, though, given that my sister is more than a bit dramatic. . . ).  Wild Man’s question and interest did get me thinking about a third child again, something that I haven’t given much thought to recently. 

In the wake of Wild Man’s question and his continuing interest in babies, I’ve found myself thinking about a third child.  Do we want a third child?  If I had asked myself this question a year ago, I think the answer, for me at least, would have been a definitive yes.  I would have said that having a third child depended on so many things, but I would have definitely said I wanted another child.  Now as I ponder that question, I’m no longer as sure as I was.

So, do I want a third child?  Well, yes and no.  I do want a third child for most of the reasons I wanted a second child—I enjoy being a mother, and I enjoy parenting.  Given my position at CU, I would now be entitled to a year-long maternity leave, something I wasn’t able to experience with either Bear or Wild Man.  I have also profoundly enjoyed watching Wild Man and Bear’s relationship develop.  But I also don’t think having a third child is the most responsible decision we could make.  Children are expensive, and having third child limits what we’re able to offer Wild Man and Bear.  This may seem like a materialistic way to respond to parenthood, but it is a fact, plain and simple. 

Given the nature of what we do, Archer and I will be traveling a fair amount through our careers.  I feel like we can afford to turn many of the research trips into family trips for the four of us, which means that Wild Man and Bear will experience a fair amount of the world as children, something I didn’t have an opportunity to do.  Our trip to Italy, for example, would have been exponentially more expensive if we had to buy a fifth plane ticket. 

Beyond cost, there are other factors.  I would like to sleep through the night before I’m forty, for example.  We’re also at a point where Wild Man is becoming very independent.  We no longer have to stand watch over everything he does anymore, and I can see that point with Bear in the not-so distant future.  I’m not sure I want to start all over again, even given how joyful I find the entire experience of having an infant.  Archer and I are also able to get out of the house at least once a month to have dinner together at a real restaurant.  Our ability to do that (and the simple fact that we finally have a reliable babysitter

So it seems that I’m coming to terms with the reality that it is very unlikely that we will have a third child, and while I feel like that is the best decision for many reasons, I also find myself a little sad.  I realize now that I always assumed we would have a third child, and I find myself mourning the loss of that assumed child, which is a strange feeling for me to comprehend and to describe.  This feeling is further complicated by the realization that a decision not to have a third child means I will not have a daughter, and surprisingly, that adds to the sadness I’m feeling.  It seems odd, to me, to be mourning something that I have never known. 

More meetings

Friday I met with Dr. Writing and Dr. English to discuss how I would work between two departments.  Tomorrow I meet with the dean to ask some questions about my contract (which I have yet to receive).  These meetings are equal parts exciting and unnerving. 

Kindergarten Dilemmas

Kindergarten has become a hot-button topic in our house, at least for Archer and me.  We talk about kindergarten a lot.  We constantly ask ourselves:

• Is Wild Man performing well in kindergarten?
• Are we doing enough to help him learn all he needs to learn?
• Is he learning enough? 
• And most importantly, where will he go for senior kindergarten?

Right now Wild Man is in junior kindergarten, which is the American equivalent of pre-K.  Ok, so that isn't exactly right.  JK is, for all intents and purposes, kindergarten.  Wild Man is in a mixed JK and SK class, which means that about half of his classmates are in senior kindergarten.  This means that they all learn the same things, but the SK students do activities that build on the skills they learned in JK.  So while Wild Man is practicing writing the number from 1 to 10 his SK peers are learning how to do basic addition and subtraction.  The theory is that the SK students help teach the JK students and, thus, benefit from teaching their peers while the JK students benefit from modeling their behavior after their more experienced classmates.  I think this system has benefited Wild Man very well, and I'm really happy with our decision to send him to JK, which is optional in our province.  Now we have to decide where to send him for SK.

You see, Wild Man's school is out of our area.  It is affiliated with his daycare, so he goes to daycare in the morning and JK in the afternoon.  In fact, he and about 10 other children walk over to the elementary school, escorted by several of the daycare staff members.  We chose this option knowing that he couldn't stay in this school, but we chose it for a few reasons.  First, I'll be 100% honest--it is convenient for us.  If we had elected to enroll him in JK in our home school (which is walking distance from our house), our day would be crazy.  For example, C would have to drop Wild Man off at JK, then drop Bear daycare,  and drop me off at CU.  Then C would have to drive back across town to pick up Wild Man and take him to daycare for the rest of the day.  This didn't make a lot of sense for us, although we seriously considered it.  Second, this elementary school is one of the top 5 elementary schools in our province.  It is an excellent school.  It is also incredibly diverse, both economically and ethnically.  In fact, the school has diversity assemblies every month in which the kids learn about one of their classmate's home cultures (the school is so diverse in large part because it draws heavily on the international graduate student population at CU).  Wild Man knows about Ramadan and Chinese New Year, about saris and hijabs, and about all sorts of things he wouldn't have learned about elsewhere.  He now says things like, "Daddy, that wasn't a very accepting thing to do."  In short, he has learned a lot about the world due to his experiences at this school.  We've thought a lot about keeping him here for SK.  In fact, we've talked a lot about selling our house and moving into this school district so he can continue to go to this school through all the elementary grades. 

But we are also considering sending him to French Immersion school.  Essentially, in a FI school, Wild Man would be immersed in the language.  70% of instruction is in French, while 30% is in English.  Most students are fully bilingual by grade 4, and if we stay in Canada, given the nature of the Canadian job market* and government, I feel that it is really important that both boys be fluent in French.  We don't, however, like the neighborhood that our FI school is in.  The school itself seems to be quite good. In fact, Archer and I attended an open house there a few weeks ago and loved the kindergarten teacher.  But again, the neighborhood is not so great. 

So we're trying to decide what to do. If we want him to go into FI school, he has to start by grade 1, which gives us another year to make a decision.  But then he'll be in a room with students who have already attended SK at an FI school, so he'll be behind the curve a bit.  I don't know if this matters at that age, but I think it might.  I know he'll be discouraged with FI curriculum anyway.  The kindergarten teacher we met with told us to expect that.  She said even kids who love school will come home at some point in the school year upset and frustrated because it is different, because they will struggle with the language at first.  I'm concerned that frustration may cause him to feel discouraged about school, especially if we wait until grade 1 to start a FI program.   But part of me thinks, he is happy where he is.  We really like this school, so why not keep him there for another year? 

I'm really not sure what to do, and we have to make a decision in the next few weeks.

*Based on the news articles I've read and numerous conversations I've had with my own students, individuals who are fluent in French often have a much easier time getting jobs in our province.  For example, people who are fluent in French and who are applying for teaching positions are about twice as likely to get hired as those who don't speak French.  I am concerned that we may be putting the boys at a disadvantage if they don't speak French and we stay in CU Land.

Negotiating

Apparently I'm in a position to negotiate.  Who knew? 

Reflecting

Now that I've been able to reflect on the interview, I'm not sure what I think.  My emotions ran the gamut both while I was at SLAC and while I traveled back to CU Land last Friday (a massive windstorm on the east coast of the U.S. kept delaying my flight, which meant I didn't get home till about 1:30 am).  Here is about how it all went down.

Wednesday evening: arrive in SLAC town, met at airport by head of department.  She took me to dinner and then to my B&B, which was literally across the street from the school.  She was lovely to talk to.  She was disarmingly honest, and she kept, it seems to me, feeding me answers to questions she seemed to know I would be asked on Thursday.  On more than one occasion she said, "Oh, that's great.  Be sure to say that to X tomorrow" or "I totally understand what you mean, but do not say that to Y tomorrow."  It was strange to say the least.  It was after 10 by the time I got to the B&B, and I was exhausted.  Still I stayed up a bit to do some quick research on the 8 or so people I met with on Thursday.  I didn't sleep that well, as I tend to not sleep well in strange places.

Thursday morning: breakfast on my own at the B&B.  One of the department members met me and escorted me to the college where I met with people in half hour intervals from 8:30 to 11:30.  It was exhausting, but in many ways it was fun.  It was nice to be able to talk about my teaching, to explain what I do, and why I think it is successful.  There is a fairly significant online teaching component to this job as they are a really small school (under 800 students attend classes on the main campus) and are trying to grow their online offerings (about 2,200 students take classes online, so it is a large program).  I have some experience in this and currently utilize online resources a lot in my classes.  I had some ideas that impressed them.  I'm becoming increasingly interested in digital humanities, so this is cool to me.  After my third (or so) meeting I was feeling sort of jazzed.  I was excited.  I was thinking, "Maybe this would be a good place for Archer, me, and the boys."  Then I met with a biology professor who is the outside person on the hiring committee.  He was great, very interested and interesting, and he was the first person to directly answer my questions about tenure requirements.  Up until the point, everyone had carefully skirted the issue (including the Dean of the School of the Arts).  He told me that he secured tenure after 8 years at the college with a stellar teaching record (I looked it up; it is, indeed, stellar) and 2 peer reviewed publications.  I experienced something completely unexpected.  My heart sank a little.  I immediately thought, "Two publications?  Seriously?  That's it?  That is what you produced in 8 years? You're a scientist!  How is that possible?" I'm not sure what i thought I would feel when I learned the tenure requirements, but I didn't expect to be disappointed that one can secure tenure with so few publications.  I began to realize that I would have very little time to do my own work.  I then met with some students, taught a class (that seemed to go well) met with the president of the college (a very, very odd meeting, indeed), and gave a talk, which I'm quite certain that most of the people in the audience didn't understand.  One of the history professors who attended, however, asked some very insightful questions, and I began to think, "Ok, maybe there is something more here."  Then the chair drove me back to my B&B where I relaxed for a while.  Then another committee member took me to dinner and a lovely restaurant with live music.  Both she and the chair were wonderful, and they are both people I could see being friends with as well as people I could see mentoring me a bit.  After dinner, I called Archer and then went to bed.

Friday morning: breakfast on my own.  I had a lovely conversation with the owner of the B&B about the town.  I had some time before the chair came to drive me to the airport, so I walked around on my own.  The town was lovely.  Really.  It is about 25,000 people, and it's primary income is tourism.  They've taken great care to restore the 19th-century buildings.  There is a growing arts and music scene.  I spent some time looking in the window of a real estate office and learned that Archer and I could by a recently renovated Arts and Crafts style house in the downtown with a yard for about $160,000, give or take.  It reminded me a lot of parts of Cambridge, MA.  I began thinking, "Are we small town people?"

Saturday morning: Archer and I talked a lot.  If I got an offer from this school and they were able to offer him a t-t position, would we take it?  I don't know.  In some ways, we'd be giving up a lot.  No grad students, no research money, lots of teaching for a lot less money.  In some ways we'd be gaining a lot.  Closer to family and friends, a small town lifestyle, less stress on us because the demands of the job are less (at least in terms of publication).

Here is where it gets tricky for me.  I could see us living in this place for a long time without a problem.  I don't know if I see either one of us being happy professionally for the long term.  I will admit that I've gotten spoiled first at Southwest University and now at CU.  I haven't taught composition in a long time (one of the things I was cautioned not to say), and while I don't mind teaching it (in fact, I do actually like teaching it) I don't know if I'm ready to go back to teaching basic grammar (yes, many of the students are accepted on a provisional basis and score lower than 450 on the verbal portion of the SAT.  On Wednesday night, the chair told me that she had given a lecture that afternoon on how to correct comma splices and that half of her class didn't know what a comma splice was.).  Since getting the news from CU, I've started to give myself the time to write a bit and to brainstorm ideas for new projects, and I've surprised myself how many ideas I have.  I can't complete most of the projects at this SLAC.  Several of the projects require travel to archives all over the country.  I wouldn't be able to fund that myself, and SLAC doesn't have the money to fund such projects.

So where does that leave us?  It seems very likely we'll stay in CU Land, and for the first time since we moved here, the thought of making this place our home makes me really happy.

Exhausted

I am exhausted.  No, I'm bone tired, as my grandmother used to say.  My day started at 8:30 with I have no idea how many meetings.  I met with everyone of any importance at SLAC.  I liked most everyone, but I'm not sure we would be happy here.  Even if the CU offer weren't a consideration, I'm not sure this is the place for us, for a whole variety of reasons.  I'll write more once I've processed it all and have slept, which I will go do now.

My life would be much simpler . . .

if I didn't like these SLAC people, much simpler.  But given the wonderful evening I just spent with the chair of the English department, I think that simple may be out the window.  She is lovely, and if we were to meet at a cocktail party, we'd be fast friends, I know.  Tomorrow my day is crazy.  I start at 8:30 and go until 5:45, and then I have dinner with the search committee.  I teach a class, and I give an informal presentation on my research.  I think I will be fine--exhausted, but fine.  I'll write more tomorrow night if I don't collapse as soon as I get to the hotel.

Thanks Mom and Dad

With a great deal of apprehension, I called my parents late last week and told them about the good news we received from CU.  My parents don't really get the world of academia, and they struggle with us being so far away, my mom especially.  So I didn't tell them right away because I wanted some time with the news before they (potentially) said something that upset me.

I am happy to report that I was pleasantly surprised.  My dad was enthusiastic and congratulatory, but as usual, he passed the phone to my mom very quickly.  She was really, really excited, even tearing up a little bit when she told me how happy she is for us and how proud she is of me.  She asked a lot of questions about teaching load, TAs, grad classes, and office space--stuff I had no idea she really knew about.  I mean, I've told her about all of these things, and she has been here for 2 weeks during the fall for the last 2 years.  I think those visits gave her some understanding of how time consuming the job search has been, how my time to focus on my own projects is limited by all the prep and grading I do, and how much I want my own office.  She did ask if I'll be making more money, and when I said yes, she asked, "Does that mean you'll be able to come for visits more often?"  To which I also said yes.  I know that is important to her, but I really appreciated that she waited until after she asked all the other questions to ask this particular question.  I ended the conversation really happy that I told them rather than wait.

Archer also shared the news with Yetta and Pita.  I will say that they offered me congratulations.  Yetta's only questions, however, focused on whether Archer and I will continue to go on the job market every year to get positions closer to Home State.  Oh well, at least my parents were happy for us.

Um, yes, that really happened

I'm exhausted.  Bear is getting over his third bout of strep throat since the first of the year.  Last night was the first night since last Friday that he slept through the night, and for Bear, that means going to bed at 7:30 and waking up at 5 or 5:30.  This morning he wanted to hang out with me so much that he woke up at 4:45.  I tried to get him back to sleep, but no luck.  So I made coffee, he ate some cereal, and we hung out on the couch looking at books.  Well, ok, he looked at books while I tried to stay awake. 

At some point, Bear climbed into my lap, gave me a big sloppy kiss, and said "Mama."  I started crying.  He was very puzzled, of course.  It was as if in that moment everything that has transpired this past week started to sink in.  I quickly stopped crying, and Bear and I continued with our morning.  When Archer came downstairs about 45 minutes later, he could tell that I was upset, so he asked if I was okay.  I said, "That meeting on Tuesday.  Did that really happen?"  He hugged me and assured me it did.  I think this is going to take some time to sink in.