With a great deal of apprehension, I called my parents late last week and told them about the good news we received from CU. My parents don't really get the world of academia, and they struggle with us being so far away, my mom especially. So I didn't tell them right away because I wanted some time with the news before they (potentially) said something that upset me.
I am happy to report that I was pleasantly surprised. My dad was enthusiastic and congratulatory, but as usual, he passed the phone to my mom very quickly. She was really, really excited, even tearing up a little bit when she told me how happy she is for us and how proud she is of me. She asked a lot of questions about teaching load, TAs, grad classes, and office space--stuff I had no idea she really knew about. I mean, I've told her about all of these things, and she has been here for 2 weeks during the fall for the last 2 years. I think those visits gave her some understanding of how time consuming the job search has been, how my time to focus on my own projects is limited by all the prep and grading I do, and how much I want my own office. She did ask if I'll be making more money, and when I said yes, she asked, "Does that mean you'll be able to come for visits more often?" To which I also said yes. I know that is important to her, but I really appreciated that she waited until after she asked all the other questions to ask this particular question. I ended the conversation really happy that I told them rather than wait.
Archer also shared the news with Yetta and Pita. I will say that they offered me congratulations. Yetta's only questions, however, focused on whether Archer and I will continue to go on the job market every year to get positions closer to Home State. Oh well, at least my parents were happy for us.
2 comments:
Phew!! I'm SO GLAD this phone call went so well! My mom has already given up on the plan to bring us back to Brazil so she's really very supportive right now too (and only has negative comments once in a very long while).
I can imagine how it must have felt to have your mom ask all those questions... it's so hard when family members just don't get what we do! As for what Yetta and Pita said, whoa... if they only knew how much work it is to go on the market! I'm sure Archer must have told them "no way!" right? :)
yay for your parents! I'm glad they are getting it!
My parents are still learning. Dad is pretty busy and I think, in general, has accepted that my job search could take us anywhere. Mom has a harder time with us maybe moving (we live an hour and 20 min away right now). But when I interviewed somewhere really close to her and it was awful, she was good about it. "You don't want to work someplace like that." And with my most recent interview, she was really excited that I loved it, even if it means moving away. I think it just takes some time to process how different academia is from the rest of the world!.
As for husband's parents...we don't tell them anything. I won't until I get the job....maybe not til after the move. MIL seemed to think that 2 hours way "too far away."
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