A bit of good news

As I blogged about previously (sorry, I'm not linking right now), the dean has been committed to securing me a T-T line at CU.  I'm not one to question a dean, but I think this goal has a lot to do with keeping Archer, who is making a name for himself in his field, here as well as with keeping me here.  The fact that I can teach in three departments means that I represent a lot of the things the dean advocates for the future of this faculty.  Plus, on my current appointment, which is not T-T but is research focused, I've had one article accepted, sent out two others for review, and secured a $17,000 (yes, you read that correctly) curriculum development grant.  I think I've demonstrated what I can do in a research focused position.  On a different note, Archer has also received around $15,000 in three separate research grants since he's been at CU.  Financially, it just doesn't make sense to get rid of us.  Thus, after RD revolted (I've heard about 7 different versions of what happened, none from anyone who was actually there, so I still have no idea what went down), the dean immediately began pursuing another appointment for me.

On Wednesday I (again) presented a job talk and was interviewed.  This time, however, the whole process took less than 3 hours.  Here is what happened:

• 1:00--I gave my talk, following a lengthy Q&A, which turned into a fantastic conversation about my paper.
• 2:20--I took a break, while everyone attending the talk was asked to stay and offer their feedback to the committee.
• 2:45--my interview started.  I was asked lots of typical questions, and at one point, one committee member corrected another committee member on the content of my CV. That was weird, but it also meant I didn't have to be the one to correct the committee member who had misread my CV.
• 3:30--I left the interview room, and the committee met to discuss my appointment.
• 3:45--the chairs of the two departments in which I may be appointed came to my office to gleefully tell me that the committee had agreed to recommend that I be offered a T-T, joint appointment in their departments.  

I wanted to cry, literally.  They both gave me some really positive feedback on my talk and my answers during the interview, which was wonderful.  As an added bonus, one of Archer's colleagues attended my talk, and she sent him an email telling him how well she thought I did.  This is a woman whose work I know and respect, and she has a reputation for being a bit of a hard ass at such events.  She gives compliments rarely, so getting one from her means something.

Where does this leave me?  From a practical standpoint, I'm waiting to hear back from the dean's office on the terms of my contract.  I've yet to decide if I want to negotiate any of the terms.  Part of me wants to, but part of me wants to just sign the damn thing and move on.   From an emotional standpoint, this appointment feels right.  I'm not sure I can really explain why.  I will say that the response to my talk was vastly different than when I presented it during the first interview.  While I do think that it was well received that time, this time everyone in the room had offered a piece of positive feedback, and everyone remarked that the work I'm doing brings these two departments together really well.  It was an overwhelmingly positive experience.  I was nervous; I was really nervous given what happened last time.  But I left the room knowing that everyone who attended saw that my work is valuable and worthwhile.  That was not a feeling I had following the first interview.

I'm still not sure what this means for us long term.  But after a very tumultuous few months at CU, in which nearly every day raised another issue that caused me to be uncertain about how I would be treated in RD, I know now I'm in a place, both literally and metaphorically, where the people around me are committed to helping me develop as a scholar and a teacher.  That means a lot.

Preparing

Somehow, last week, all the planets aligned in my favor (or at least I think it was in my favor), and Research Department decided a joint appointment was a good idea.  Oh, and that directly going against the express wishes of the dean was likely not a good move.  So my interview that has been scheduled for about 2 weeks is going forward tomorrow.  I've been prepping for the last 2 weeks, as you might imagine, but I spent a good portion of yesterday putting some things together.  Today I'm rereading my job letter, my writing sample, and my job talk.  I more or less know what questions to expect, but I want to put on the best possible "show" I can tomorrow.  Archer has taken over with the boys.  They are installing a ceiling fan right now, and later they will make a trip to Home Depot to buy some things for the garden.  He even has my muffin recipe in hand so he and Wild Man can make muffins while Bear naps later today.  My biggest concern right now: I woke up with a cold this morning.  Here's hoping I can stave the worst of it off with fluids and physical, if not mental rest.

Retail Therapy

So I lied; I'm not writing yet.  Here is something just for fun.  I'm thinking of ordering this for an interview blouse.

The Interview

As I wrote last week, the powers that be have finally decided to move forward with converting my current position to a tenure-track line.  And that means that I have to be interviewed.  In some ways, this is a formality, but in some ways it isn't.  The appointments committee has been convened to write a job ad for my position, although the position won't be advertised.  I have to submit a job letter, and I have to give a talk.  Both departments that I will be appointed in will be invited to attend.  The appointments committee, which will have representatives from both departments, will meet with me and interview me, and then they get to vote on my appointment.  They will receive feedback from members of both departments, and I've been warned to expect some aggressive questions at the talk.  But only the 6 members of the committee get to vote on my appointment.  So there are some risks.  I do, however, know most of the members of the committee, and most of them are friendly and cordial to me.  One has even gone out of her way to talk to me at every recent department meeting.  There are also other things occurring between the two departments which make the current role I play as a bridge of sorts increasingly important.  As an added bonus, I have training that no one in the English department has.  In an American university, this training wouldn't make much of a difference, but apparently in a Canadian setting it makes a huge difference. 

So that's where I am, and now I have to prepare a job talk.

Interview and Europe bound

I have an interview!  Hooray!  I received an email last week, and then, after several days of phone tag, I finally confirmed the time and place yesterday.  I'm hoping for at least one more, but I'm not optimistic.  I'm thrilled to have one.  Now I have to start planning the trip to the conference, which will be difficult to say the least.

Tomorrow we leave for an 11 day trip to Europe.  I'm excited, but I also think we're a bit crazy.  I've spent the day packing and organizing.  Tomorrow will be stressful, not impossible but stressful.  I still have some packing to do, so I'm off to get that finished.  I may not be able to post while we're away, so I wish everyone a wonderful holiday.  Thanks for hanging out with me in the cyber world!

It's official

I just canceled my reservations for MLA. There will be no trip to Philadelphia for me this year. This sucks, and then again it doesn't.
It doesn't suck for the following reasons:

• I don't have to pack up the entire family the day after Christmas and spend 8 hours in the car.
  
• I can spend my holiday in my own home.
  
• I don't have to figure out what to wear to an interview.
• I don't have to worry about the possibly wasted expense of a trip to a major city with a $500 hotel bill.
• I get to go visit some dear friends (Bear's godparents, in fact) rather than sit in a stuffy hotel room talking to stuffy people.
  

But it does suck for the following reasons:

• I have no interviews.
• I sent out over 40 applications and got nothing in response.
• I have to do this all over again next year (and quite possibly the next).
• I'm not in any sort of position to bargain for a t-t job at CU Land.
• I don't get to see all of my MLA bound friends.

I told myself at the beginning of this process that it was going to be a difficult year. I'm not published, although I have extensive teaching experience and can teach in multiple areas. I just finished as well. That said, I was hoping for at least one interview, even just for the experience of it. Oh well. I'll troll the spring list and hope that gets me somewhere. In the mean time, I'm sending out letters for summer teaching at CU.

On his way

C left this morning to attend his field's version of MLA. Between this afternoon and Friday afternoon, he will interview with various schools. I'm feeling a bit strange about this whole process. Last year, we assumed that C, although he did have a few interviews including an on-campus visit, would not get a job because he wasn't finished with the doctorate when he went on the market. Now it seems (emphasis on seems; I don't want to put the cart before the horse, as my mother would say) that he has a really good chance of getting a tenure track position. I feel excited for him--he definitely deserves such a job--and our family--it will improve our lives a lot, at least financially.

But personally, I am feeling a bit ambivalent. If we move in the fall, my life will change dramatically for a lot of reasons, and I am not exaggerating. The move, although for the benefit of our family, will be largely about C, and while I'm ok with that, I am also wary of my own reaction and feelings once we move. I've made a similar move before when we were first married. I moved with C to the mid-sized Northeast University that treated him terribly. For the first year there, I was miserable, so miserable that I started having panic attacks and ended up in therapy (I am oversimplifying for the purposes of the blog, as the move did not cause the panic attacks and therapy was a good thing). I know what it feels like to be in a place where you have no friends and few options for making them, and I am wary of that. Secretly (well, not so secret anymore) I hope he gets a position at one of the schools that would put us close to good friends. I know myself well enough to know that I will do better in a new situation if I have a support system close by. But then, I also know myself well enough to know that I will make the best of any situation. Here's hoping his interviews go well and that Wild Man doesn't miss him too much.

**Because I've been questioned about this issue before, I want to add this post-script. While I do acknowledge that I am giving up some things (i.e. opportunities for funding and teaching) if C gets a position, I do not feel like I am making any major sacrifices for him. I am not putting his career before mine. Rather the way circumstances have worked out, he is in a position to start his career first, and as we're a family, we have to make the decision that is the best for our family. I am fully aware that I will experience a slowdown if we do move, but C experienced the same thing when we left the Northeast for the Southwest when I began my ph.d. I'm not worried about my career, my dissertation, or my work. I'm worried about being lonely.

Mixed emotions

C has an on-campus interview, which is great. What is not so great is that the university is in a town more conservative than the one we currently live in and it's even farther away from our families. I'm thrilled that he has an interview, and I'd love for him to get the job. He'd make what we're making together and then some. But I'm not sure I can stomach three or four more years in conservative small town America.