Friday, July 29, 2011
Busy work and family stuff
That is what I've been dealing with all morning. I had to update my CV, draft an abstract, and send about 15 emails. I've also been dealing with family stuff, which isn't always fun. I'd really like to write more, but I'm afraid I'd end up composing a diatribe about the stupidity of various family members. While that might help me relieve some stress, it wouldn't be very productive, at least not in regards to the writing goals I have to accomplish today. I will say that Brown-Eyed Girl is facing an uphill battle when it comes to choosing a college which her mother (my sister) will approve of.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Writing
That is what I've been doing this morning, and it feels very good to know that I can, in fact, still construct a sentence.
I am in . . .
funk. I'm not sure why. I had a good meeting with my new department head yesterday (for whom I'll have to think up an pseudonym at some point). I think I've figured out the essay I've been working on, and I also may have figured out how to revise the essay that was rejected last spring. But I'm still in a funk. I'm going to force myself to work my way out of it. I'll check in later to let you know how it is going.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
A rhetorical question
Wonderful readers, I have a rhetorical question for you. Let's say you have a dear friend who is struggling to improve a certain aspect of hir life. Let's also say that you have observed certain things about your friend's actions and behavior that are possibly hindering hir struggle, things that the friend is clearly not conscious of. Finally, let's say that you think that if your friend were more aware of these actions and behaviors, your friend might be able to address said struggles more fully. Would you point out these actions and behaviors, knowing the friend might not take it well and that you maybe doing permanent damage to your friendship? Or would you mind your own business?
*Note: we'll assume that none of these behaviors are life threatening to the friend or anyone else.
*Note: we'll assume that none of these behaviors are life threatening to the friend or anyone else.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
The dissertation
I've been rereading my dissertation in an attempt to glean something publishable out of it. I've also been trying to determine how much work I will need to do to publish it as a book. I came to the conclusion yesterday that my dissertation should never have been written. Now, I'm not being self-deprecating. I am not in the midst of an intellectual crisis. I still stand by my ideas. I still think the argument is sound. I do not, however, think that the works I chose to put together should have been considered together. And you know what, I'm happy to be able to admit that. If I had it to do over again (which, given that I have to have a book for tenure at CU, I sort of do) I would focus on African American women writers. Again, I do think the things I said about the white writers I focused on are valid, but I don't think those chapters work in connection to the discussion of African American writers. I think, and at the time of my defense my committee agreed, that my chapter on African American women writers is the strongest. I think I'm adding the most to the current critical conversation with my analysis of these writers. Now I need to add about three more writers to the mix, craft a book prospectus, and get a contract. While that is much easier said than done, I do feel like this is a much more manageable project than trying to connect four such disparate authors--authors I really struggled to connect when I was writing my dissertation. So now that I have a clear plan, I feel like this is a project I can wrap my head around.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Have I mentioned. . .
that I'm likely going to have to go back on the job market this year? Have I also mentioned that I'm not excited about doing so at all?
More on "The House"
Friday, July 22, 2011
The house
 |
The kitchen: it is huge, but it doesn't have a dishwasher. It also needs to be updated a bit, especially the terra cotta paint--almost the exact color we painted over in the living room of our town house. Seriously, I am starting to feel like we can't get away from this color.
Parenting Dilemmas
During our lengthy trip to Home State, we were able to spend a bit of time with some good friends from Southwest College Town. On the way to Home State, we visited Solon and Megs They have three children, two girls and a boy, and Archer and I are their youngest daughter's godparents. Likewise they are Bear's godparents. While we were together, I observed some very key differences between their girls and our boys (their son, whom I will call Ringo because he loves drums, just turned one, so any differences I noticed between him, his sisters, and our boys I'm going to attribute to age). The key differences are fairly expected. Solon and Megs's girls (whom I will call Aurora and Belle, in honor of their favorite princesses) are "quieter" and "calmer," but they also seem to listen better. If Megs wanted Aurora, the eldest, (to Solon and Megs, if you're reading this, yes, I know these are totally lame pseudonyms, so you don't need to comment on the lameness) to do something, she asked, and more often than not, Aurora complied. Similarly, if Solon needed Belle to do something, she complied, with only one exception that I recall.
In contrast, Archer and I find ourselves asking Wild Man and Bear to do the same thing over and over again. For example, if I want Wild Man, who is about 4 months older than Aurora, to get dressed, I say, "Wild Man, here are you clothes. Please get dressed." He may take off his PJ bottoms as soon as I make the request, but before putting on his shorts, he gets distracted and starts playing. I repeat the request, and completely absorbed in his imaginary world of who knows what, Wild Man ignores me. I repeat the request a third time, and this time he may take off his PJ top. Once that is off, he recalls the joy of being in his underwear and proceeds to perform the underwear dance for about 3 minutes. I remind him again to get dressed, and usually by now, I'm starting to lose my patience. Wild Man may pick up his shirt and toss it across the bedroom. At this, I'm getting angry, so I raise my voice and tell him to come to me. I then hand him each piece of clothing while he puts in on. Only then is he dressed. This, frankly, is a good morning. Bad mornings include at least one trip to time out for Wild Man for not listening. Bear is slightly more willing to get dressed, but then he is just two. Unlike Wild Man, he is not able to dress himself. It can, however, be a bit of a wrestling match to get him to stand still long enough to get clothes on him.
While we were with Solon and Megs, I watched Megs dress Aurora and Belle. Megs said, "Aurora, here are your clothes. Please put them on." Aurora said something like, "I'd rather wear this shirt, Mommy." Megs said, "Ok, now please get dressed." And without saying anything else, Aurora did. Belle had to be asked twice, but then she isn't quite three. Whereas it took me about ten minutes to get Wild Man and Bear dressed, Aurora and Belle were dressed in under five minutes. I also noticed that Megs never lost her patience (I lose my patience a lot), and she didn't seem frazzled at all. Aurora and Belle listened to their mother and did what she asked. I began to wonder if I was doing something wrong.
Fast forward to the end of our trip. We spent a day and night with some other dear friends from Southwest College Town, who, by virtue of the academic job market, now live three hours from our parents. Like us, Supadiscomama and Harrogate have two boys. Captain and Climber (names that reflect their eldest son's love of pirates and their youngest son's propensity to climb up Supadiscomama) are 3 months older than Wild Man and ten months younger than Bear, respectively. As with Ringo, I'm not including Climber in any observations because of his age. In the time we were with them, I observed that Supadiscomama and Harrogate, like Archer and me, often had to repeat their instructions to Captain. While he occasionally seemed to chose not to listen as an act of defiance (as does Wild Man), more often than not he just seemed too wrapped up in what he was doing to focus on his parents' instructions. Like Archer and me, Captain's parents lost their patience and, after asking him to do something at least four times, sent him to time out for not listening. Throughout the visit, both Wild Man and Captain struggled to focus on directions and to listen, but several times both did exactly what they were asked to do without hesitation or question. Following our time with Supadiscomama and Harrogate, I began to wonder if girls just listen better than boys, especially at this age.
Since our return to CU Land, I've been thinking about this question a lot, primarily because some days I am literally at my wit's end. When Wild Man doesn't listen, for whatever reason, I find myself losing my patience, as does Archer. We both end up raising our voices, threatening, and taking things away all in an attempt to get Wild Man to do what we're asking. We've tried a reward system, and that has worked with some success. But we both think that at 4 1/2 there are some things Wild Man should be able to do without a reward--like getting dressed and brushing his teeth. So at the end of most days, we're both annoyed with our child, and we're both feeling like horrible parents. We've talked about this endlessly, and we've tried various things, including explaining consequences, giving warnings, etc. No matter what we try it seems like we end up raising our voices and threatening, and in turn, Wild Man is now raising his voice at Bear. So we've only succeeded in teaching him to yell at his little brother. I feel like what we're doing just isn't working. And, while Archer would argue that I'm overreacting, I feel like we're failing as parents, at least in this particular area. Moreover, despite some research on the topic, I'm left with lots of questions and virtually no answers. Are boys different than girls (which, ultimately, really isn't the point)? What techniques are more effective helping boys learn to listen? How can we help Wild Man and Bear to focus and listen without resorting to yelling and time outs? Or are we simply expecting too much from our children, Wild Man especially?
In contrast, Archer and I find ourselves asking Wild Man and Bear to do the same thing over and over again. For example, if I want Wild Man, who is about 4 months older than Aurora, to get dressed, I say, "Wild Man, here are you clothes. Please get dressed." He may take off his PJ bottoms as soon as I make the request, but before putting on his shorts, he gets distracted and starts playing. I repeat the request, and completely absorbed in his imaginary world of who knows what, Wild Man ignores me. I repeat the request a third time, and this time he may take off his PJ top. Once that is off, he recalls the joy of being in his underwear and proceeds to perform the underwear dance for about 3 minutes. I remind him again to get dressed, and usually by now, I'm starting to lose my patience. Wild Man may pick up his shirt and toss it across the bedroom. At this, I'm getting angry, so I raise my voice and tell him to come to me. I then hand him each piece of clothing while he puts in on. Only then is he dressed. This, frankly, is a good morning. Bad mornings include at least one trip to time out for Wild Man for not listening. Bear is slightly more willing to get dressed, but then he is just two. Unlike Wild Man, he is not able to dress himself. It can, however, be a bit of a wrestling match to get him to stand still long enough to get clothes on him.
While we were with Solon and Megs, I watched Megs dress Aurora and Belle. Megs said, "Aurora, here are your clothes. Please put them on." Aurora said something like, "I'd rather wear this shirt, Mommy." Megs said, "Ok, now please get dressed." And without saying anything else, Aurora did. Belle had to be asked twice, but then she isn't quite three. Whereas it took me about ten minutes to get Wild Man and Bear dressed, Aurora and Belle were dressed in under five minutes. I also noticed that Megs never lost her patience (I lose my patience a lot), and she didn't seem frazzled at all. Aurora and Belle listened to their mother and did what she asked. I began to wonder if I was doing something wrong.
Fast forward to the end of our trip. We spent a day and night with some other dear friends from Southwest College Town, who, by virtue of the academic job market, now live three hours from our parents. Like us, Supadiscomama and Harrogate have two boys. Captain and Climber (names that reflect their eldest son's love of pirates and their youngest son's propensity to climb up Supadiscomama) are 3 months older than Wild Man and ten months younger than Bear, respectively. As with Ringo, I'm not including Climber in any observations because of his age. In the time we were with them, I observed that Supadiscomama and Harrogate, like Archer and me, often had to repeat their instructions to Captain. While he occasionally seemed to chose not to listen as an act of defiance (as does Wild Man), more often than not he just seemed too wrapped up in what he was doing to focus on his parents' instructions. Like Archer and me, Captain's parents lost their patience and, after asking him to do something at least four times, sent him to time out for not listening. Throughout the visit, both Wild Man and Captain struggled to focus on directions and to listen, but several times both did exactly what they were asked to do without hesitation or question. Following our time with Supadiscomama and Harrogate, I began to wonder if girls just listen better than boys, especially at this age.
Since our return to CU Land, I've been thinking about this question a lot, primarily because some days I am literally at my wit's end. When Wild Man doesn't listen, for whatever reason, I find myself losing my patience, as does Archer. We both end up raising our voices, threatening, and taking things away all in an attempt to get Wild Man to do what we're asking. We've tried a reward system, and that has worked with some success. But we both think that at 4 1/2 there are some things Wild Man should be able to do without a reward--like getting dressed and brushing his teeth. So at the end of most days, we're both annoyed with our child, and we're both feeling like horrible parents. We've talked about this endlessly, and we've tried various things, including explaining consequences, giving warnings, etc. No matter what we try it seems like we end up raising our voices and threatening, and in turn, Wild Man is now raising his voice at Bear. So we've only succeeded in teaching him to yell at his little brother. I feel like what we're doing just isn't working. And, while Archer would argue that I'm overreacting, I feel like we're failing as parents, at least in this particular area. Moreover, despite some research on the topic, I'm left with lots of questions and virtually no answers. Are boys different than girls (which, ultimately, really isn't the point)? What techniques are more effective helping boys learn to listen? How can we help Wild Man and Bear to focus and listen without resorting to yelling and time outs? Or are we simply expecting too much from our children, Wild Man especially?
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Um, seriously?
I've spent the afternoon reading what was once (and still is by many) considered to be THE source on slavery in the American South. While it has been helpful in helping me better understand the relative frequency of marriage ceremonies between enslaved individuals, I am astounded by the faulty conclusions the author makes over and over again. Even though the book was written over 30 years ago (but it still widely cited by historians), I cannot believe the number of times the author makes unfounded claims. The author even repeatedly offers compelling evidence to disprove his own points, but then goes on to reaffirm hir own argument. Seriously, if this was considered ground breaking with such faulty argumentation can someone please explain to me why my essays keep getting rejected?
Working
That's what I've been trying to do since we arrived back in CU Land. The weather is unusually warm, so I've been working in my office on campus, which is air conditioned, unlike our townhouse (but our new house does have Central AC!). I'm working on expanding the paper I presented in May, as I received lots of good feedback about my argument. I've been wading through lots of historical sources and trying to historicize the events I'm talking about. I'm not a historian, so finding what I need has been harder than I anticipated. I've spent the better part of the past two days digging for sources on marriage laws during slavery in the U.S. After three trips to the library, I think I now have the sources I need. So I will now go back to work.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Vacation?
Since we've arrived back in CU Land, we've been asked numerous times, "How was your vacation?" And while the answer is, "We had a nice time with our families and friends," I also want to say, "Visiting family is not a vacation." Here are some updates to reiterate that point.
- I attended 2 doctor's appointments with my mom and took her to have an MRI. The facial tics that I wrote about before are most likely a side-effect of one of her medications, which she is no longer taking. Her MRI showed no problems, which is good. I now have her permission to speak to her neurologist without her present.
- Wild Man had his first sleepover--with his 5-year-old cousin J. He had a blast, but Yetta was mightily upset because the sleepover meant she got one less night with him.
- Bear discovered the joys of the ocean, but his afraid of my dad for reasons I'm not entirely certain I can explain.
- I spent lots of time with my sister-in-law, Aunt J. We vented about being outsiders in the family, but we also just had fun. Pita commented on the time we spent together, which meant she was unhappy that we didn't include her.
- I was able to see my BF from high school and college twice, which is rare thing indeed. I was very, very happy to get to hang out with her so much.
- I had many conversations with my parents about selling their house and moving closer to her sisters. I'm not sure I made any headway at all.
- None of the homes we stayed at (with the exception of the home of our grad school friends who now live in Home State) were remotely child proofed. Bear almost fell down more staircases than I care to count. Being constantly vigilant to ensure he didn't injure himself or destroy my mom's or Yetta's countless knick knacks was exhausting for both of us.
- I tried to have a conversation with Archer's brother, you know, just because. After getting a series of monosyllabic answers, I gave up. To be fair, I don't think Archer got much more than that out of him either.
- Yetta was very displeased that we not only saw friends on our way to Home State but that we elected to stop overnight to see more friends on our way to CU Land. Because you know, both side trips took time away from her.
- We're already being interrogated about our plans for Christmas.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
We're back . . .
in CU Land. We've been home since Friday afternoon, after an arduous trek north. Two and a half days in the car is not fun for anyone.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Home State
Archer, the boys, and I are coming to the end of our visit to Home State, and while I do have lots to write, I don't have much time. I will say it has been a good visit, mostly. I'm still processing somethings, but in the meantime, I thought I'd share a few pictures.
Wild Man holding the baby
Bear playing at Yetta's, wearing his
Spiderman hat and shark rain boots
Wild Man enjoying one of the many great
fountains in our home city
A giant tortoise at the serpentarium
Wild Man holding the baby alligator at the serpentarium
Bear enjoying the beach
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
My Mom, a follow-up
My mom left on Saturday, and she did manage to make it to Home State safely. As soon as my dad heard her cough, however, he packed her up and took her to the doctor. As I wrote last week, she caught a cold while she was here (she catches a cold every time she comes to visit, now that I think of it), and she developed a severe cough quickly. This isn't that unusual. My mom had bronchitis a lot when she was a child, so she tends to develop a cough whenever she gets a cold. This was a really bad cough though. So bad that she woke herself and me up coughing several nights last week. I wanted to take her to the doctor (luckily, Mom is smart enough to buy travel insurance every time she comes to visit), but she refused. My dad made her go on Sunday though, and it turns out my mom has walking pneumonia. That upset me. Pneumonia is serious.
Beyond that, it also upsets me because it tells me that she isn't taking care of herself. She takes her medicine and goes to her appointments, but she doesn't exercise and she doesn't eat well. I'm not sure what to say or do about her health. I did try to speak to my dad about it, especially about my concerns with her memory. He just shut down, however. He has never responded well to anything that he perceives to be a criticism of my mother, so it isn't surprising that he wasn't willing to listen to my concerns. I also know that he thinks I overreact. I've been thinking about that a lot lately as well.
Am I overreacting? I don't know, maybe. Is this about me more than my mom? That is entirely possible. I've never been entirely comfortable with her diagnosis, primarily for three reasons. First, she never got a second opinion. I think that if a doctor diagnoses you with a mental illness that will require you to take multiple medications for the rest of your life you get a second opinion just to make sure. Second, if my mom does indeed have bipolar that means her illness went undiagnosed for a long time, perhaps for years if not decades. That has made me rethink a lot of my childhood. For example, does the diagnosis explain her severe anxiety over meeting new people and her hesitancy to let us have friends over when we were kids? Third, since the diagnosis, my mom has changed drastically. This one is the hardest on me. There are so many things we used to do that we no longer do. When I visited, we used to spend an entire day shopping and having lunch in our favorite area of Home City. We'd stay up late and talk. Archer and I would help her with little projects, like planting new flowers and hanging up pictures she'd had framed. We'd go for long walks around her neighborhood. We'd even get up early and go to breakfast with Archer and my dad. On the days that we stayed with Archer's family, I would often meet my mom somewhere for a few hours, which meant Archer and I both were able to spend one-on-one time with our families. Our visits are so different now, in large part because my mom is different. I could list all the differences, but I think it is enough to say that I have to drag her out of the house. More often than not if I want to go do something when I'm there, she says, "Just go without me. Take the boys and have fun. I'll be here when you get back."
That isn't the only thing I'm struggling with. I keep asking myself, "Am I just being selfish?" Maybe she is happier like this. She is certainly more even-keeled than I ever remember her being. She almost never gets annoyed with my dad for his stupid jokes or his unintentionally insensitive comments. She seems much less anxious, and she no longer gets upset about how we split our time between her and Archer's family. So part of me feels like I should accept her as she is instead of judging her, which is how she feels I treat her. If she's happy, and she says she is, should I just let it go and accept her as she is? Why is that so hard?
Beyond that, it also upsets me because it tells me that she isn't taking care of herself. She takes her medicine and goes to her appointments, but she doesn't exercise and she doesn't eat well. I'm not sure what to say or do about her health. I did try to speak to my dad about it, especially about my concerns with her memory. He just shut down, however. He has never responded well to anything that he perceives to be a criticism of my mother, so it isn't surprising that he wasn't willing to listen to my concerns. I also know that he thinks I overreact. I've been thinking about that a lot lately as well.
Am I overreacting? I don't know, maybe. Is this about me more than my mom? That is entirely possible. I've never been entirely comfortable with her diagnosis, primarily for three reasons. First, she never got a second opinion. I think that if a doctor diagnoses you with a mental illness that will require you to take multiple medications for the rest of your life you get a second opinion just to make sure. Second, if my mom does indeed have bipolar that means her illness went undiagnosed for a long time, perhaps for years if not decades. That has made me rethink a lot of my childhood. For example, does the diagnosis explain her severe anxiety over meeting new people and her hesitancy to let us have friends over when we were kids? Third, since the diagnosis, my mom has changed drastically. This one is the hardest on me. There are so many things we used to do that we no longer do. When I visited, we used to spend an entire day shopping and having lunch in our favorite area of Home City. We'd stay up late and talk. Archer and I would help her with little projects, like planting new flowers and hanging up pictures she'd had framed. We'd go for long walks around her neighborhood. We'd even get up early and go to breakfast with Archer and my dad. On the days that we stayed with Archer's family, I would often meet my mom somewhere for a few hours, which meant Archer and I both were able to spend one-on-one time with our families. Our visits are so different now, in large part because my mom is different. I could list all the differences, but I think it is enough to say that I have to drag her out of the house. More often than not if I want to go do something when I'm there, she says, "Just go without me. Take the boys and have fun. I'll be here when you get back."
That isn't the only thing I'm struggling with. I keep asking myself, "Am I just being selfish?" Maybe she is happier like this. She is certainly more even-keeled than I ever remember her being. She almost never gets annoyed with my dad for his stupid jokes or his unintentionally insensitive comments. She seems much less anxious, and she no longer gets upset about how we split our time between her and Archer's family. So part of me feels like I should accept her as she is instead of judging her, which is how she feels I treat her. If she's happy, and she says she is, should I just let it go and accept her as she is? Why is that so hard?
Monday, June 27, 2011
My new office
I'm writing this while sitting in my new office. All of my books are unpacked, and I've made a list of the things I need to purchase to make the office fully functional. You know, things like hanging files and tape. I've sent an email to inquire about a computer (because this is a term appointment I don't get all the benefits that a TT faculty member would get, like start up funds to buy a new computer), and I've put in a request to have the office painted a pale peachy, ivory color (it is currently cornflower blue, which I actually like, but it is sort of dark. If this is going to be my office for the foreseeable future I think I'd like a lighter color). I'm in the process of deciding if I want to move the desk. it is a good size office (about 8' by 12'), but the desk is a large corner style desk. I'd like it to be facing the door, but I'm not sure it will work. For now, I'm working. It is so nice to be in my own space, so nice. All of my things are out of Archer's office, and knowing that I do not have to stop writing mid-sentence if someone comes by to see him is, well, wonderful. I can put my things on the wall, and I have plenty of bookshelves for my books. I no longer have to schlep things back and forth from home to school, unless I absolutely want to. I think this might make me happier than the house.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Celtic House
After much deliberation, we chose Celtic House. Archer preferred Square House, but I pointed out that it was the same price as Celtic House but lacked a garage (hello? I'm not clearing off 12+ inches of snow off the car during the winter!) and a yard. For me, the yard is a huge selling point. So our agent and her husband (they work as a team, but everything is in her name) came over last night around 8:30, and we signed the contract. Before she came over, she contacted the listing agent and asked what was the lowest offer the sellers would entertain. It seems she has worked with the listing agent a lot and felt comfortable asking this question. He gave her a number, she gave him a number, and he said something like, "I think I can get my people to work with that." So we submitted an offer about $12,000 under asking price, based on a few things. The house really does only have 2 bedrooms (again, there is a large finished room in the basement that could be a bedroom as well as a main floor addition that could also be used as a bedroom), and it has been on the market since May 5 (I think this is due to the bedroom situation; most people can't see the potential of this house). Our agent said she'd drop off the paper work by 10:00 this morning, and that we should know something by 5:00 this afternoon.
At 10:30 as we were loading up the boys for Wild Man's 11:00 soccer game, Archer's cell phone rang. It was our agent. She was with the sellers and their agent, and the sellers were planning to counter at $4,000 over what we asked. They told our agent that if we'd split the difference and meet in the middle we'd be done. Archer said, "M and I have already talked it over. We're 100% comfortable with that. Let's close the deal." So we got the house, which is a really lovely, little house (although it is actually much larger than it appears to be), for $10,000 under asking price, which is about 5% off the price. More to the point, we like the neighborhood it is in much better than The House, and while it is a bit smaller, the yard is much, much nicer. Barring any thing showing up on inspection, we have a house. And while it is older, the only things that need to be done to it are cosmetic. I mean, there is a crazy Greek-themed wallpaper border in the downstairs bedroom that has got to go, and the kitchen is the same copper color that we just painted over in our house. But aside from that, it is a great house. I'm very, very happy with our decision, especially considering how easily the deal went together.
As a bonus, we just got a call from our agent. The sellers do want to keep a few things, primarily some plaid drapes they love (please, take them, I said!) and a light in the dining room that the husband made himself (I also said, feel free!). In exchange, they are leaving us their massive freezer, their lawn mower and other lawn tools, and possibly some outdoor furniture. It seems they are thrilled that a family with young children bought their home, and as they are moving to an apartment, they will leave us anything they don't want--and they'll clear it through our agent first! What lovely, lovely people! I think we're going to be really happy in this home.
At 10:30 as we were loading up the boys for Wild Man's 11:00 soccer game, Archer's cell phone rang. It was our agent. She was with the sellers and their agent, and the sellers were planning to counter at $4,000 over what we asked. They told our agent that if we'd split the difference and meet in the middle we'd be done. Archer said, "M and I have already talked it over. We're 100% comfortable with that. Let's close the deal." So we got the house, which is a really lovely, little house (although it is actually much larger than it appears to be), for $10,000 under asking price, which is about 5% off the price. More to the point, we like the neighborhood it is in much better than The House, and while it is a bit smaller, the yard is much, much nicer. Barring any thing showing up on inspection, we have a house. And while it is older, the only things that need to be done to it are cosmetic. I mean, there is a crazy Greek-themed wallpaper border in the downstairs bedroom that has got to go, and the kitchen is the same copper color that we just painted over in our house. But aside from that, it is a great house. I'm very, very happy with our decision, especially considering how easily the deal went together.
As a bonus, we just got a call from our agent. The sellers do want to keep a few things, primarily some plaid drapes they love (please, take them, I said!) and a light in the dining room that the husband made himself (I also said, feel free!). In exchange, they are leaving us their massive freezer, their lawn mower and other lawn tools, and possibly some outdoor furniture. It seems they are thrilled that a family with young children bought their home, and as they are moving to an apartment, they will leave us anything they don't want--and they'll clear it through our agent first! What lovely, lovely people! I think we're going to be really happy in this home.
One of three
*I started this post yesterday, but due to Bear's refusal to go to sleep in a timely manner, I didn't get to finish it until this morning.
Between yesterday and today, we've seen about 10 more houses. Our options are limited given our price range and CU Land's market--which is, it seems, always a seller's market. So after much debate and realizing we don't want to go over the amount we feel comfortable with (in reality, we could get approved for much more and we could also cover the cost of the down payment and closing costs, but we don't want to be slaves to our mortgage) we narrowed it down to three houses.
1. Square house: the house is a take on a Georgian, by which I mean it is a big square with 4 windows in the front. The advantages: it is, as Archer keeps telling me, a good, solid house. It has 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms, as well as a newer roof, updated plumbing and electrical, and a newer furnace. The kitchen has the original oak cabinets, which are in great shape. I'd update the hardware, but that is fairly minor. The basement also looks like it could be finished, making a smallish rec room. The disadvantages: the sellers put in a massive deck, which takes over the already small yard. Seriously, these people must have spent about $20,000 on this deck. It also has no garage, and it is on a really busy street.
2. Celtic house: the older couple who live here are clearly Scottish or Irish, as it is adorned with all sorts of Celtic symbols. The basement has a series of photos from the local Celtic Choir as well. This house is red brick with a picture window in the front. The advantages: it is also, using Archer's phrasing, a good solid house. It is about 70 years old, but it is in excellent shape. The couple who live there have taken excellent care of it. It has a new roof with 35-year shingles, a nicely finished basement, 2 full baths, and an eat-in kitchen. It also had a massive back yard with a lovely rose garden and a vegetable garden as well as a garage. The disadvantages: it is on the small side. Technically it only has 2 bedrooms, but there is a main floor addition that has a small deck, which could be used as the master bedroom. The bedrooms are also large enough that the boys could share one until they are older, at which point one of them could relocate to the basement room.
3. Cookie Cutter house: this is one of many brand new homes being built on the north side of town. It is in, as Archer calls it, Suburbia Hell. It is like any new development in the States. All the houses look alike and are incredibly close together. The advantages: it would be brand new, and we'd get to pick out all the fixtures, cabinets, etc. The development we're looking at would put us about 8 minutes from campus, in a very family-oriented neighborhood. Plus, our wonderful neighbors are looking at the same subdivision, although they aren't likely to move until next summer. The disadvantages: it is a new subdivision. We'd have to pay to put in the privacy fence and any sort of deck, as well as the flowers. There are no trees, and since we're looking in the newest section, we'd be living in a construction zone for about 2 more years.
So those are the choices. Realistically we could wait. We don't close on our house until August 30th, so we do have time to wait. But we're supposed to leave on Friday for the mammoth of all car trips to visit various people on the way to an 8-day stay in Home State. Given my mom's current state of being, we need to be in Home State by the 6th of July. She left this morning, and I'm anxiously awaiting the phone call telling me she survived the shuttle trip to the airport in Big City in adjacent state. I need to be in Home State to go to that appointment with her. I also just need this to be done. We've seen upward of 20 houses, and after the fiasco on The House, I'm really just done. I can't think about anything else, and I really need to focus on work. So it will be one of these houses, unless our agent comes up with something by tomorrow morning, we're putting an offer in on one of these.
Between yesterday and today, we've seen about 10 more houses. Our options are limited given our price range and CU Land's market--which is, it seems, always a seller's market. So after much debate and realizing we don't want to go over the amount we feel comfortable with (in reality, we could get approved for much more and we could also cover the cost of the down payment and closing costs, but we don't want to be slaves to our mortgage) we narrowed it down to three houses.
1. Square house: the house is a take on a Georgian, by which I mean it is a big square with 4 windows in the front. The advantages: it is, as Archer keeps telling me, a good, solid house. It has 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms, as well as a newer roof, updated plumbing and electrical, and a newer furnace. The kitchen has the original oak cabinets, which are in great shape. I'd update the hardware, but that is fairly minor. The basement also looks like it could be finished, making a smallish rec room. The disadvantages: the sellers put in a massive deck, which takes over the already small yard. Seriously, these people must have spent about $20,000 on this deck. It also has no garage, and it is on a really busy street.
2. Celtic house: the older couple who live here are clearly Scottish or Irish, as it is adorned with all sorts of Celtic symbols. The basement has a series of photos from the local Celtic Choir as well. This house is red brick with a picture window in the front. The advantages: it is also, using Archer's phrasing, a good solid house. It is about 70 years old, but it is in excellent shape. The couple who live there have taken excellent care of it. It has a new roof with 35-year shingles, a nicely finished basement, 2 full baths, and an eat-in kitchen. It also had a massive back yard with a lovely rose garden and a vegetable garden as well as a garage. The disadvantages: it is on the small side. Technically it only has 2 bedrooms, but there is a main floor addition that has a small deck, which could be used as the master bedroom. The bedrooms are also large enough that the boys could share one until they are older, at which point one of them could relocate to the basement room.
3. Cookie Cutter house: this is one of many brand new homes being built on the north side of town. It is in, as Archer calls it, Suburbia Hell. It is like any new development in the States. All the houses look alike and are incredibly close together. The advantages: it would be brand new, and we'd get to pick out all the fixtures, cabinets, etc. The development we're looking at would put us about 8 minutes from campus, in a very family-oriented neighborhood. Plus, our wonderful neighbors are looking at the same subdivision, although they aren't likely to move until next summer. The disadvantages: it is a new subdivision. We'd have to pay to put in the privacy fence and any sort of deck, as well as the flowers. There are no trees, and since we're looking in the newest section, we'd be living in a construction zone for about 2 more years.
So those are the choices. Realistically we could wait. We don't close on our house until August 30th, so we do have time to wait. But we're supposed to leave on Friday for the mammoth of all car trips to visit various people on the way to an 8-day stay in Home State. Given my mom's current state of being, we need to be in Home State by the 6th of July. She left this morning, and I'm anxiously awaiting the phone call telling me she survived the shuttle trip to the airport in Big City in adjacent state. I need to be in Home State to go to that appointment with her. I also just need this to be done. We've seen upward of 20 houses, and after the fiasco on The House, I'm really just done. I can't think about anything else, and I really need to focus on work. So it will be one of these houses, unless our agent comes up with something by tomorrow morning, we're putting an offer in on one of these.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)