As we speak I am involved in a battle of wills with my son. For the past hour and forty minutes he has been refusing to take a nap and I have been trying every method I know to get him to take a nap. Sleep has, once again, become an issue in our house, and frankly, it is making me, once again, feel like a failure as a mother.
Wild Man has been out of school for exactly one week, and every single day in our new home I've fought with him either to take a nap or to go to sleep at night. Yesterday afternoon I was in tears. Monday night he refused to go to sleep until he was so exhausted that he finally fell asleep at 9:30 sitting up in the corner of his crib. Today I started our normal naptime routine at 12:40; the routine was interrupted because he told me he had to poop so I rushed him to the potty (we're giving potty training a shot on top of everything else). After he successfully pooped on his potty, I laid him down on his mat and began to rub his back. It quickly became apparent that he was not going to sleep, and since C was at CU, I was left to deal with it myself. I left him alone in his room for 5 minutes, only to return to find that he had emptied an entire box of wipes. Wild Man generally naps on the floor on a quilt as this has been what has worked for us in the past, but after that, I put him in his crib and let him cry. I then checked on him every 10 minutes. When C got home, about 20 minutes ago, he tried, unsuccessfully, to get Wild Man to calm down and go to sleep. He is still standing up in his crib crying for me, but frankly, I'm spent. I do not know what else to do. I told C that we've been keeping him at home fulltime for a week, and I'm already exhausted. I just want him to take a decent nap so he isn't impossible to deal with in the afternoon. And, frankly, I need a break in the middle of the day to get some work done and to recharge my own batteries. I know he is just testing his boundaries, but I'm at my wit's end. I feel like a failure.
*Wild Man fell asleep shortly after I wrote this, and at C's insistence, I took some time for myself. Granted, I ended up wandering around Home Depot looking at light fixtures and paint, but I still needed some time away. We had a nice dinner, and Wild Man fell asleep with out incident by 8:20. C and I talked about the nap time frustrations, and he thinks part of the problem is that I've been trying to put him down too early. He typically doesn't go to sleep until 1:00 when he is at school, so tomorrow we're backing nap time up 20 minutes and C is putting him to sleep.
3 comments:
Wild Man's stubbornness is not a sign of your failure as a parent--it's a sign that your own (and C's) stubbornness was passed on to your child, and a sign that Wild Man is becoming a toddler who is asserting his independence!
That said, I know how exhausting it is to fight with such a stubborn little boy, and I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. I wish I could offer you some helpful advice, but, as you know, I really can't.
So, I say pass him off to C for a couple of hours and go get a massage or go to a quiet spot to read a fun, trashy novel. You deserve a break!
Hang in there, M. This has been a big week for all of you and certainly isn't the one to assess successes or failures (as a mother, or otherwise). Oh, and Wild Man's sleeping--not about you, and not about your parenting. They come hard-wired. Didn't you get that memo?
Luke was terrible about sleeping when we got home from vacation, and for longer than we were actually on vacation! It is amazing how badly that one issue snowballs into so many more issues so I definitely empathize. Tomorrow is another day.
As I am home every day with duckling for naptime, I've learned a lot about napping--or at least napping for duckling. For us, if she doesn't want to nap, I don't force her--regardless of what grumpiness may ensue. It makes for a long day for me, but I've found after a day or two she's ready to resume her routine and then things are better for both of us. Wild Man also might be shifting the time he wants to nap. Duckling has recently switched to an earlier nap time, but it took a few grumpy and exhausting days to figure this out.
sleep is in no way a measure of motherhood. Wild Man just may need a bit more time to adjust to things and you may need a bit more time to adjusting to being home with him most days. Patience and a good glass of wine in the evening are helpful!
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