instead of Facebook, and there is a strong possibility that this post may disappear because, really, I'm not up for any kind of controversy.
That said, I find all the posts lambasting the organizers of the Grammys for asking Chris Brown to perform and the Grammy voters (who are the Grammy voters anyway?) a bit troubling. Yes, he was convicted of battery. Yes, he has admitted to beating the crap out of Rhiannon. But, he served his time (probation, I think), attended court appointed counseling, and took anger management classes. In our system, doesn't that mean he gets a second chance? And given that he gets a second chance, doesn't that mean he gets the right to pursue his chosen career and, thus, succeed at it?
I do not think having him perform or even awarding him a Grammy is akin to saying his behavior was acceptable or that the Grammys (which is, apparently, some monolithic institution that influences every aspect of our society) condones his past behavior. He did a terrible thing--a really, really terrible thing. He was tried and convicted in a court of law, and as far as I know (and no, I'm not expert on the situation), he adhered to his sentence and fulfilled the terms of his punishment. He deserves a second chance, at least in my opinion. Why? Well, I'm a big believer in therapy and anger management education, provided that one is working with a good therapist, is committed to therapy, and truly wants to learn how to control hir temper. Why am I such a believer? Well, it worked for my father.
*Edited on Feb. 15, 2012 to add: And clearly therapy doesn't work for everyone, as Chris Brown has demonstrated earlier this week. Despite the obvious arrogance and just plain ignorance of this individual, I do believe that people, who make an honest effort to improve themselves, do deserve a second chance.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Saturday, February 11, 2012
A confession, of sorts
For the past several months I've been obliquely referring to ongoing issues that I haven't been able to blog about--or, more accurately, that I haven't felt comfortable blogging about. One issue was the process of converting my current appointment at CU to a tenure-track line. For several months that conversion process was being discussed, but nothing firm was in place. I was, thus, not comfortable discussing it until I knew that the process was going forward. The other issue is a bit more personal and is loosely connected to my hesitancy to blog about the first issue.
I am currently 18 weeks pregnant. I have not blogged about this previously, despite being a self-proclaimed academic mother, for several reasons. First, and quite honestly, this was not a planned pregnancy. I have previously blogged about the decision not to have a third child; despite my own desire for a third child, Archer and I decided a third child was not in the best interests of our family for a variety of reasons. It seems, for me, that this decision was much more definite than I realized. When I discovered I was pregnant last fall, it was unexpected. To use the word shocked is accurate, although, in many ways, that word is not strong enough. Without going into details, I will say that Archer had been waiting to get a referral to a urologist for several months (my one complaint about the Canadian healthcare system: if one is not deathly ill, it can takes months to see a specialist). I also will say that I am well into my 30s, and I do know what causes pregnancy. Nonetheless, I was shocked. I was terrified. I was overwhelmed. Archer was cautiously excited. He was never completely comfortable with our decision to stop at two, so he was immediately happy, although well aware of the complications that come with another child. I was not happy. In fact, I spent the first two weeks of the pregnancy crying. Sobbing is more accurate. I contemplated ending the pregnancy, a decision that Archer hesitantly supported. I had a long list of reasons as to why this was the most logical choice, and he admitted that he couldn't argue against my logic. Despite his cautious happiness, he conceded that it made little sense to have a third child. I even called my doctor to make the appointment, but ultimately, I couldn't do it.
Even almost three months later, I'm not sure I can explain why I didn't make that call. I talked to two good friends, both of whom were incredibly supportive. One friend, who had ended an unplanned pregnancy (under very, very different circumstances than mine), cautioned me that, even if I was sure in my decision, I would always wonder. As I looked at Wild Man and Bear, I honestly wasn't sure I could deal with wondering when I already knew them.
Where am I now? After many months of ambivalence, I'm slowly getting excited. We've told very few people though. Primarily because we opted to have genetic testing, in part because of my age and in part because I was not in a place to deal with any more surprises. All of those tests have come back (these tests include an ultrasound and blood tests done at specific points in the first and second trimesters), and everything seems to be progressing normally. We've both told our department chairs, and as you might expect, it's caused some complications to the interview process for me (which I'm sure I'll blog about later). We've told Wild Man and Bear, and Wild Man is beyond excited. Bear doesn't really seem to understand, although he is happy to talk to my growing bump. Other than that, we've told about 10 or so close friends and my sister. We are traveling to Home State next week for CU's spring break, and as we've never been able to tell our parents such news in person, we decided to tell them then. I'll openly admit I've delayed telling them until the testing was done, as well as so I could get used to the idea.
I'm still worried about how this will work. Archer and I both have demanding jobs, and there are some days when I feel like we're barely keeping our heads above water with two careers and two children. I'm worried that I won't be seen as a serious academic, especially by members of Research Department. I'm worried about time and money and any number of things. But when Wild Man launches into an argument as to why we should name the baby after his favorite Star Wars character, it is hard not to get excited.
*As an aside, to those of you who know me in real life, I'm sorry for coming out this way. I am at a point where I feel the need to write about this as a way to process it all. As I wrote above, our parents and extended families don't know yet, so please don't post about this on Facebook as I would hate for them to find out that way.
I am currently 18 weeks pregnant. I have not blogged about this previously, despite being a self-proclaimed academic mother, for several reasons. First, and quite honestly, this was not a planned pregnancy. I have previously blogged about the decision not to have a third child; despite my own desire for a third child, Archer and I decided a third child was not in the best interests of our family for a variety of reasons. It seems, for me, that this decision was much more definite than I realized. When I discovered I was pregnant last fall, it was unexpected. To use the word shocked is accurate, although, in many ways, that word is not strong enough. Without going into details, I will say that Archer had been waiting to get a referral to a urologist for several months (my one complaint about the Canadian healthcare system: if one is not deathly ill, it can takes months to see a specialist). I also will say that I am well into my 30s, and I do know what causes pregnancy. Nonetheless, I was shocked. I was terrified. I was overwhelmed. Archer was cautiously excited. He was never completely comfortable with our decision to stop at two, so he was immediately happy, although well aware of the complications that come with another child. I was not happy. In fact, I spent the first two weeks of the pregnancy crying. Sobbing is more accurate. I contemplated ending the pregnancy, a decision that Archer hesitantly supported. I had a long list of reasons as to why this was the most logical choice, and he admitted that he couldn't argue against my logic. Despite his cautious happiness, he conceded that it made little sense to have a third child. I even called my doctor to make the appointment, but ultimately, I couldn't do it.
Even almost three months later, I'm not sure I can explain why I didn't make that call. I talked to two good friends, both of whom were incredibly supportive. One friend, who had ended an unplanned pregnancy (under very, very different circumstances than mine), cautioned me that, even if I was sure in my decision, I would always wonder. As I looked at Wild Man and Bear, I honestly wasn't sure I could deal with wondering when I already knew them.
Where am I now? After many months of ambivalence, I'm slowly getting excited. We've told very few people though. Primarily because we opted to have genetic testing, in part because of my age and in part because I was not in a place to deal with any more surprises. All of those tests have come back (these tests include an ultrasound and blood tests done at specific points in the first and second trimesters), and everything seems to be progressing normally. We've both told our department chairs, and as you might expect, it's caused some complications to the interview process for me (which I'm sure I'll blog about later). We've told Wild Man and Bear, and Wild Man is beyond excited. Bear doesn't really seem to understand, although he is happy to talk to my growing bump. Other than that, we've told about 10 or so close friends and my sister. We are traveling to Home State next week for CU's spring break, and as we've never been able to tell our parents such news in person, we decided to tell them then. I'll openly admit I've delayed telling them until the testing was done, as well as so I could get used to the idea.
I'm still worried about how this will work. Archer and I both have demanding jobs, and there are some days when I feel like we're barely keeping our heads above water with two careers and two children. I'm worried that I won't be seen as a serious academic, especially by members of Research Department. I'm worried about time and money and any number of things. But when Wild Man launches into an argument as to why we should name the baby after his favorite Star Wars character, it is hard not to get excited.
*As an aside, to those of you who know me in real life, I'm sorry for coming out this way. I am at a point where I feel the need to write about this as a way to process it all. As I wrote above, our parents and extended families don't know yet, so please don't post about this on Facebook as I would hate for them to find out that way.
Wednesday, February 08, 2012
Working on the list
Today I've been hard at work on the list, you know, the one that never ends. What have I done today? I've finished putting together on a grant, one that involved much less work than the last one I submitted.*
I have met with three students, graded three papers, and answered countless emails. I now need to grade about 12 more papers, but first, I'm off in search of caffeine.
*I chose not to vet this one to the Research Guru before submitting it. Why not? Well, I don't really like RG, nor do I respect RG. Further, this grant only funds conference travel, as such I didn't have to put together a lengthy proposal, so I didn't think I needed RG's feedback. That may prove to be a mistake in the long run, but let me say my life has been less stressful knowing I didn't have to worry about RG's input.
I have met with three students, graded three papers, and answered countless emails. I now need to grade about 12 more papers, but first, I'm off in search of caffeine.
*I chose not to vet this one to the Research Guru before submitting it. Why not? Well, I don't really like RG, nor do I respect RG. Further, this grant only funds conference travel, as such I didn't have to put together a lengthy proposal, so I didn't think I needed RG's feedback. That may prove to be a mistake in the long run, but let me say my life has been less stressful knowing I didn't have to worry about RG's input.
Tuesday, February 07, 2012
He's only 2 1/2
Bear, that is. He is only 2 1/2. But the potty humor has already started. With Wild Man, I think we got a reprieve until 4. No such luck with Bear. This morning at breakfast, he looked at Wild Man and said, "Wild Man, do you have a penis?" Apparently that is a joke in Bear's mind. And Wild Man thought it was hilarious. For the next 45 minutes, amidst getting dressed, packing backpacks, and brushing teeth, Bear would ask both Archer and Wild Man if they had penises. Each of them, Archer included, would dissolve into giggles. I was reminded by the reality of my life: I'm surrounded by little boys.
Monday, February 06, 2012
I live in a . . .
very loud house. Wild Man and Bear are always talking--sometimes to me, sometimes to Archer, sometimes to each other. They also talk to themselves all the time. Sometimes I miss quiet.
Friday, February 03, 2012
A big deal
I rarely get caught up in politics to the extent that I engage in public debates with people or that I post something political on my Facebook page. This week has been an exception. I've been following the Susan G. Komen Foundation's decision to end funding to Planned Parenthood after this year's grant cycle really closely. Why? Well, PP means something to me, as does providing women with adequate health care. I've been to PP before, and I fully support its mission. It does so much more than offer abortions (in fact, only 3% of its total services are offering abortions), and I've gone to PP when I was new to an area and needed affordable health care. I've had friends go there for birth control, pap smears, breast exams, and biopsies. They have all reported receiving quality care and excellent counseling. Given that most of these friends were uninsured undergrad and grad students at the time they went to PP, they were all thankful to receive such good care at a price they could afford.
As for the Komen Foundation, there is a history of breast cancer in my family. My great-grandmother survived breast cancer at a time the only treatment was a mastectomy, radiation, and prayer. Add to the fact that she lived in a poor mining community in rural Appalachia, and she was damn lucky to survive. I often think that her life would have been very different if she had access to the kind of health care PP offers women. My aunt has also survived breast cancer. I've worn pink ribbons, I've run in many "Race for the Cure" races, and I've supported their mission.
So I followed the story closely and, perhaps, a bit rabidly. I posted at least one thing about on my Facebook page about the story every single day. I also engaged in a public, albeit civilized, debate with my aunt about the story. This aunt (who is the same aunt who survived breast cancer) is staunchly pro-life, and she viewed the decision to cut funding to PP as a pro-life decision (as an aside, I find it really interesting that in spite of trying to assure the public that this was not a decision motivated by the abortion debate most of those supporting the Komen Foundation's decision to stop funding PP did so on the basis of being pro-life). She posted her support for the Komen Foundation, and I questioned the logic of the ruling. She argued it was "saving lives" by cutting support to an organization that performs abortions, and I argued it was ironic to read the decision to stop providing funds for breast exams and general breast health as life saving in any way. It was tense, but cordial, and it was telling how much the issue meant to both of us that we even broached it at all.
So it was a big deal to open my web browser and read the following headline: "Komen Cancer charity reverses, will fund Planned Parenthood." To me, it was a very big deal.
As for the Komen Foundation, there is a history of breast cancer in my family. My great-grandmother survived breast cancer at a time the only treatment was a mastectomy, radiation, and prayer. Add to the fact that she lived in a poor mining community in rural Appalachia, and she was damn lucky to survive. I often think that her life would have been very different if she had access to the kind of health care PP offers women. My aunt has also survived breast cancer. I've worn pink ribbons, I've run in many "Race for the Cure" races, and I've supported their mission.
So I followed the story closely and, perhaps, a bit rabidly. I posted at least one thing about on my Facebook page about the story every single day. I also engaged in a public, albeit civilized, debate with my aunt about the story. This aunt (who is the same aunt who survived breast cancer) is staunchly pro-life, and she viewed the decision to cut funding to PP as a pro-life decision (as an aside, I find it really interesting that in spite of trying to assure the public that this was not a decision motivated by the abortion debate most of those supporting the Komen Foundation's decision to stop funding PP did so on the basis of being pro-life). She posted her support for the Komen Foundation, and I questioned the logic of the ruling. She argued it was "saving lives" by cutting support to an organization that performs abortions, and I argued it was ironic to read the decision to stop providing funds for breast exams and general breast health as life saving in any way. It was tense, but cordial, and it was telling how much the issue meant to both of us that we even broached it at all.
So it was a big deal to open my web browser and read the following headline: "Komen Cancer charity reverses, will fund Planned Parenthood." To me, it was a very big deal.
Wednesday, February 01, 2012
The never-ending list
So far today has been really productive. In fact, I've crossed 9 items off of my to-do list. But it seems like I've added at least that many to the list. I think I need a cookie to get me through the rest of the afternoon.
Monday, January 30, 2012
The Interview
As I wrote last week, the powers that be have finally decided to move forward with converting my current position to a tenure-track line. And that means that I have to be interviewed. In some ways, this is a formality, but in some ways it isn't. The appointments committee has been convened to write a job ad for my position, although the position won't be advertised. I have to submit a job letter, and I have to give a talk. Both departments that I will be appointed in will be invited to attend. The appointments committee, which will have representatives from both departments, will meet with me and interview me, and then they get to vote on my appointment. They will receive feedback from members of both departments, and I've been warned to expect some aggressive questions at the talk. But only the 6 members of the committee get to vote on my appointment. So there are some risks. I do, however, know most of the members of the committee, and most of them are friendly and cordial to me. One has even gone out of her way to talk to me at every recent department meeting. There are also other things occurring between the two departments which make the current role I play as a bridge of sorts increasingly important. As an added bonus, I have training that no one in the English department has. In an American university, this training wouldn't make much of a difference, but apparently in a Canadian setting it makes a huge difference.
So that's where I am, and now I have to prepare a job talk.
So that's where I am, and now I have to prepare a job talk.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Moving Forward
Yesterday I received an email from Dr. English asking me if we could meet later this week. It seems the powers that be have finally decided to finalize the conversion of my current position. As I wrote last year, my current appointment, although full-time with a research emphasis is not a T-T appointment. I was "promised" last year that my position would convert to T-T. Well, I've been hearing "It's going to happen soon, don't worry" for the last 9 months. Archer has even been told by the dean that my line is already in the budget, so in the dean's mind, it was a done deal. Except I know I have to give a talk and have an interview, both of which are little more than formalities. For me, as long as those two things have yet to be done, I don't really feel like anything is a done deal. And you know, I'd like to actually sign a contract. I know Dr. Writing has been pushing this along, but academia moves at a glacial pace. It seems now that I will be getting concrete information about how the conversion will proceed, including details about the interview and the talk. I'm happy this is finally moving forward, but I'm still wary and cautious. I don't think I'll believe any of this is happening until I've got a contract in my hands.
Monday, January 23, 2012
Too much information
So is it possible to tell someone, tactfully, that said person is a bit too interested in my private life? Can I say I prefer to keep our relationship professional? Or is that too harsh? The person isn't taking my non-committal answers or evasiveness as a clue. Instead, the person just continues asking questions that I feel are somewhat inappropriate given our relationship. You see, this person is my TA (and yes, feel free to hate me for having a TA; I hate myself a little bit). Given that, I don't feel it is appropriate for this person to ask about really personal stuff. Nor do I want to know really personal things about the TA. For example, the TA just called me to say s/he's missing class. Saying, "I'm not feeling well" is more than sufficient, but instead, this person felt the need to go into detail regarding the severity of the stomach flu that has afflicted hir. For real. I don't need to know that. Just sayin'.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Taking a guess
For the past few weeks I've been working on a grant application to develop a new course. I'm a bit inexperienced at writing these sorts of proposals within a university setting, so when I sent off my first (actually my fourth or so) draft to the guru of research, I had made some fairly key mistakes. RG told me s/he didn't think I would have time to get it together by the internal deadline, which is today. I was irritated--at myself, at him, and at his comments, where were not helpful for revising. So I talked to Archer who has applied for and been awarded this exact grant, and then I talked to a colleague who has also been awarded this grant. She generously allowed me to look at her application. Then I spent all day Wednesday, much of Thursday, and all day Friday reworking the proposal. Archer kept the boys occupied on Saturday so I could get the final touches done. I sent it back to RG and to Research Department chair. RD Chair responded almost immediately with some minor suggestions; s/he wanted me to add a few sentences and take out some other things. I finished those edits on Sunday morning in 10 minutes. As of last night I still hadn't heard from RG, making me think that RG was going to tell me not to submit the application.
RG sent me a long email and edits this morning. Based on the email I expected the edits to be huge. They are not. RG made very few changes, and RG wrote that the application is now worthy of consideration. I'm irritated again. Why? The changes I made are not substantial. I rewrote two sections entirely, and I provided a lengthy narrative for the budget. The proposal itself, however, is essentially the same. I am beginning to think that RG didn't think I'd be able to get all the supporting documentation together--which I already had. I just didn't realize I needed to send it to RG with the proposal. Even if my proposal isn't awarded, I'm feeling vindicated. I suspect RG thought I'd just give up. Guess what? RG was wrong.
RG sent me a long email and edits this morning. Based on the email I expected the edits to be huge. They are not. RG made very few changes, and RG wrote that the application is now worthy of consideration. I'm irritated again. Why? The changes I made are not substantial. I rewrote two sections entirely, and I provided a lengthy narrative for the budget. The proposal itself, however, is essentially the same. I am beginning to think that RG didn't think I'd be able to get all the supporting documentation together--which I already had. I just didn't realize I needed to send it to RG with the proposal. Even if my proposal isn't awarded, I'm feeling vindicated. I suspect RG thought I'd just give up. Guess what? RG was wrong.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Worth Sharing
I'm rereading parts of The Country of Pointed Firs by Sarah Orne Jewett in preparation for a class I'll teach later today. Here is a quotation worth sharing: "We don't want to carry no men folks havin' to be considered every minute an' takin' up all our time." I love Jewett.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Jealous
Yesterday Archer spoke with Yetta. She and Pita were keeping R's boys so R could catch on some work and J (R's soon-to-be ex-wife) could go to the gym. Archer and I both had work to do, but as mine was more pressing, Archer took the boys to Home Depot and the bookstore for a few hours so I could get some work done. When they got home, I kept the boys busy with an art project so Archer could read for a bit. Dropping the boys off at someone's house for a few hours just so we can have some time to ourselves is not an option. When I heard that R had done this for the umpteenth weekend in a row, I was jealous. Not that I want to live in the same town as my in-laws, mind you, but sometimes I would like to hang out with my husband on the weekend while not having to manage the chaos of watching two very active boys at the same time.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Silence
Archer took the boys out so I could have some quiet time to finish the grant I'm working on. I don't think I've ever been alone in our house on a Saturday. I must say the silence is a bit disconcerting.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Traveling to Home State
This morning I was up early with Bear, as usual. So I was double checking prices for travel associated with the grant I'm writing and printing off info from various websites. Out of curiosity, I checked on tickets to Home State during spring break. Surprisingly the tickets are actually affordable; they are, in fact, imminently affordable. Archer had already spoken with Yetta about the possibility of us visiting then, and she offered to buy the boys' tickets. So it looks like we'll get to visit our families for the cost of 2 tickets, or $500. Not a bad price. Plus we get to fly and can only stay a week because the visit happens in the middle of the semester. Not bad all around.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
A gripe about academia
I have rarely used this blog to gripe about academia even though I define myself, at least in part, as an academic mother. I don't gripe because I don't see it as productive. I also don't gripe because I more or less knew what I was getting into when I entered a Ph.D. program. I knew jobs in academia, particularly the humanities were hard to come by. Contrary to popular belief, this is not a result of the downturn in the economy; jobs have been hard to come by in academia for 2 generations or more. My primary mode of survival is to get the job done to the best of my ability and to redirect the energy I could spend griping doing other things. Not griping does not mean that I don't think academia has problems; in fact, I think it has serious ones. One that is bothering me the most right now is the lack of mentorship.
Now as I've written about before I am situated between two departments. What I haven't discussed is that one department is very research focused; it was, in fact, considered one of the flagship departments of the university until about 10 years ago. It is still highly respected, and almost every faculty member has held a major research grant at some point. It has a lot to brag about, and brag it does. The other department would be seen as a service department at many comparable institutions in the States. It is staffed almost exclusively by part-time faculty members. It has an excellent reputation on campus for knowing what kinds of classes students want to take and for offering the right class at the right time. It is also the only department in the faculty that is growing, and it is growing a lot. Its enrollment has increased by 40% in 3 years. While it lacks a research profile (primarily because there are only 3 1/2 full-time faculty members in the program, and yes, I'm the 1/2), it is a department that is respected across campus.
Now my home department, as it were, is the Research department because there is a support structure in place to help me develop a research profile. Also my own research aligns more closely with Research department, although my teaching overlaps neatly between the two. From Service department, so-to-speak, I am not supposed to receive much in the way of support, other than teaching. While I have received a lot of support from Service department in terms of teaching and structural support, I have received nothing in the way of mentorship from Research department. There is supposed to be a mentorship program in place, and I was supposed to receive a mentor at the beginning of the academic year. I did not, though.
Part of this is my fault. I have not actively sought anyone out, nor have I pressed the department head to assign me a mentor. Much of this is the culture of the department, and much of it is due to the liminal space I occupy between departments. The people with whom my research area overlaps don't really know me; this is due, at least in part, because I'm not required to do any service in Research department. I perform all my service for Service department because it has so few full-time faculty members. I show up for all department meetings, but I don't serve on any committees for Research department. I don't say much at department meetings because I'm still trying to understand how things work. I recognize and accept responsibility for all of this. I've done a few things in the past 6 weeks or so to build relationships in the department. I working on making it better for myself.
The problem I'm experiencing seems to me to be problem inherent to academia. Mentorship is not a priority in many academic institutions. While this is a topic that is often discussed in the Chronicle of Higher Ed, I'm not sure it is something academics take seriously. We often seem to take the attitude, "Well, I didn't have a mentor, and I managed okay. Why should I take on the responsibility of mentoring someone else?" This is the "I suffered through, so should everyone else" mentality, and I think it only serves to create more problems. I'm not sure what the solution is, but I do know I'm going to start being more assertive and seeking out help when I need it. That isn't a solution for the entire academy, but it may be a solution for me.
Now as I've written about before I am situated between two departments. What I haven't discussed is that one department is very research focused; it was, in fact, considered one of the flagship departments of the university until about 10 years ago. It is still highly respected, and almost every faculty member has held a major research grant at some point. It has a lot to brag about, and brag it does. The other department would be seen as a service department at many comparable institutions in the States. It is staffed almost exclusively by part-time faculty members. It has an excellent reputation on campus for knowing what kinds of classes students want to take and for offering the right class at the right time. It is also the only department in the faculty that is growing, and it is growing a lot. Its enrollment has increased by 40% in 3 years. While it lacks a research profile (primarily because there are only 3 1/2 full-time faculty members in the program, and yes, I'm the 1/2), it is a department that is respected across campus.
Now my home department, as it were, is the Research department because there is a support structure in place to help me develop a research profile. Also my own research aligns more closely with Research department, although my teaching overlaps neatly between the two. From Service department, so-to-speak, I am not supposed to receive much in the way of support, other than teaching. While I have received a lot of support from Service department in terms of teaching and structural support, I have received nothing in the way of mentorship from Research department. There is supposed to be a mentorship program in place, and I was supposed to receive a mentor at the beginning of the academic year. I did not, though.
Part of this is my fault. I have not actively sought anyone out, nor have I pressed the department head to assign me a mentor. Much of this is the culture of the department, and much of it is due to the liminal space I occupy between departments. The people with whom my research area overlaps don't really know me; this is due, at least in part, because I'm not required to do any service in Research department. I perform all my service for Service department because it has so few full-time faculty members. I show up for all department meetings, but I don't serve on any committees for Research department. I don't say much at department meetings because I'm still trying to understand how things work. I recognize and accept responsibility for all of this. I've done a few things in the past 6 weeks or so to build relationships in the department. I working on making it better for myself.
The problem I'm experiencing seems to me to be problem inherent to academia. Mentorship is not a priority in many academic institutions. While this is a topic that is often discussed in the Chronicle of Higher Ed, I'm not sure it is something academics take seriously. We often seem to take the attitude, "Well, I didn't have a mentor, and I managed okay. Why should I take on the responsibility of mentoring someone else?" This is the "I suffered through, so should everyone else" mentality, and I think it only serves to create more problems. I'm not sure what the solution is, but I do know I'm going to start being more assertive and seeking out help when I need it. That isn't a solution for the entire academy, but it may be a solution for me.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Grants, grants, and more grants
I'm putting the finishing touches on one research grant, and I've already been advised to apply for another. It seems, according to Dr. English, that I have a knack for grant writing. I didn't say, "Well, duh. I worked as a professional grant writer for 2 years before returning to graduate school." Instead, I just said, "Thanks!" I really wanted to say that writing grants is all well and good, but if doing so takes away from writing for publication I'm not sure I see the point.
Clothes: A Mini Rant
I have a closet full of clothes, most of them I like, some of them I really like, some of them I keep because they are functional. I like my summer wardrobe a lot better than my winter wardrobe, but I do enjoy my sweaters. Today was one of those mornings that nothing that I put on looked right. I even picked out what I was going to wear last night. But I put it on, and I wanted to scream. I then proceeded to change my clothes 4 times in 15 minutes because nothing looked or felt right. I finally settled on a dress I love but that I normally wear in the fall not the winter. Why? Well it has short sleeves and I have yet to find a sweater or a jacket that looks nice with it. So I'm wearing a dress I love with a cardigan that doesn't really go with it, and as a bonus, my tights seem to have shrunk. I'm not particularly happy with the way I look, nor am I very comfortable. I think it is going to be a long day.
Oh, and I just realized I forgot to put on my watch.
Oh, and I just realized I forgot to put on my watch.
Sunday, January 08, 2012
Tomorrow . . .
life goes back to normal. Wild Man goes back to kindergarten, Archer and I go back to teaching, and Bear, well Bear will continue to be Bear.
This semester promises to be challenging for all kinds of reasons, some of which I may get to blog about, finally. Right now, I'm enjoying the sunshine that is streaming into our family room, the smell of banana muffins fresh from the oven, and watching Bear yawn (he just woke up for a nap that was a bit shorter than usual).
This semester promises to be challenging for all kinds of reasons, some of which I may get to blog about, finally. Right now, I'm enjoying the sunshine that is streaming into our family room, the smell of banana muffins fresh from the oven, and watching Bear yawn (he just woke up for a nap that was a bit shorter than usual).
Sunday, January 01, 2012
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