Dear Oxymoron,
Writing your tribute has been difficult as well, my friend. But difficult in ways that writing the previous tributes were not. When I think of you, Oxymoron, I find myself not wanting to cry but smiling. I find myself thinking of all the outrageous moments we've had together, and I realize there are far, far too many to count. So, in your honor, here is a list of our top ten moments.
M & Oxymoron's Top Ten List
10. Our first beginning of the year party in Southwest College Town: you joked that you needed someone to count the number of beers you were drinking to ensure you didn't get intoxicated and then try to talk to any professors. Mid-way through the evening, you and C were standing around the keg (yes, even faculty parties in Southwest College Town include kegs), and I walked over and said: "Oxymoron, that makes 3, so be sure you don't talk to any professors now!"
9. Fussee hommes!
8. Movie night with the Mormon missionaries: "We're already familiar with God, and we're getting to watch a movie. Could you come back later?"
7. "Oxymoron, could you please close your curtains before you take off your clothes?"
6. Shirley Manson & Freddie Mecury, not to mention a wine-swilling Cyndi Crawford, Wham!, and Ozzy Osbourne
5. The Listening Room
4. Beer Bongs
3. Your naked ass, along with Harrogate's and C's, pressed up against my sliding glass door, followed by you scrubbing my sliding glass door with Windex.
2. "So, I think I knocked up Mrs. Oxy on the day that you and C announced you were pregnant. . ."
1. Balls, balls, and more balls
These memories will keep me laughing for a long, long time. Thanks, Oxymoron.
Much love,
M.
6 comments:
This Oxymoron sounds like a lively fellow. But I'm not sure that these moments ought bring smiles to one's face, my dear M. From what you have shared here, methinks a shudder of utter dismay and a stern look of disapproval are more appropriate responses.
I remember each of these moments as though they were yesterday. In fact, I was just reminding Mrs. Oxy the other day about #10, the oldest of all the memories listed. It was embedded in a conversation about how our network of friends in Southwest College Town took shape. Having already met you in a teaching seminar earlier that week, you were the first friendly face that I saw at the departmental party. So Mrs. Oxy and I settled in next to you in the grass, where you quickly introduced us to C, who was kind enough to point out that we were standing in very close proximity to the keg. I knew then that this friendship would last. We had a great time standing there, tilting our beverages to our mouths just often enough to ignore the uncomfortable conversational nulls produced by not knowing what to say to someone you didn't yet know very well. And even though I didn't heed your advise that evening to take it easy, I do appreciate you looking out for me that night: "I'm telling you this, Oxymoron, only because you mentioned it earlier: you've only been here for 30 minutes, and you've already had three beers."
My dear Reverend, I'm certain if you had a beer with Oxymoron and I you wouldn't have a stern look on your face.
Drinking fogs the mind. I prefer to abstain. And not just from alcohol. That is why, my dear M, my good name will ne'er be tainted in the same way that Oxymoron's has been, through a tribute (ah, yes, a tribute, you call it) ending in "balls, balls, and more balls."
Oh, lighten up already, why don't you?
Or better yet, just quit communicating from the dead! ; )
Reverend, you're an ass.
Shut up! and let me enjoy my tribute.
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