Weaned

Wild Man has been officially weaned for well over a month now, and to be honest, I've avoided blogging about it because I've been surprised by my reaction. I didn't want to wean Wild Man, but as I discussed here I felt like I needed to wean him prior to the research trip I took in June. I didn't want to be away for a week, leaving C to figure out how to handle Wild Man's requests for Mommy and to nurse. By the time we weaned completely Wild Man was only nursing in the evening, but he was still nursing to sleep at least three times a week. Before we could wean completely we had to teach him how to put himself to sleep, which was surprisingly easy. Our trip to CU Land, however, delayed the process because we were in a strange place, and Wild Man was sleeping on a pallet on the floor, not in a crib. In fact, during that trip, he ended up sleeping with us a lot, so even though we had planned to spend that week weaning completely, we didn't wean him until the week before I left for my research trip.

While I was gone, Wild Man apparently only for Mommy a few times at bedtime, and he didn't ask about nursing at all. When I returned, however, he immediately asked to nurse at bedtime, and he wasn't too pleased when I replied "No, you're a big boy, and you don't need to nurse anymore." This continued for a few days, but by the end of the week, he seemed to have forgotten about nursing altogether and hasn't asked about it since. His reaction didn't surprise me, but mine did.

Leading up to my trip I had dreaded weaning. I did not want to wean him, and I knew that if I wasn't going away for a week I probably wouldn't have. I expected to miss those quiet moments we shared together in the evening. I expected my breasts to fill up, to need to pump while I was gone, and to leak for weeks afterward. I expected to cry. And I expected that I would need to fight the urge to nurse him when he asked for it. But none of that happened. I did (and do) miss that time with Wild Man, but I didn't cry, I didn't feel emotional, I didn't miss the actual nursing itself. My body didn't respond at all either--no swelling, no engorgement, no need to pump, no leaking. I didn't want to start nursing again as soon as I saw my son either. In fact, what I felt more than anything was an overwhelming sense of relief. After 9 months of pregnancy and 19 months of breastfeeding, I felt like my body was my own again. And I like that feeling. All in all, I'm pleased that weaning was much less traumatic on both of us than I had anticipated.