That sums up how I'm feeling lately. I'm making a concerted effort not to look at the calendar because if I did I would be forced to reckon with the reality that we will have movers in our home in under 2 weeks, which means that C leaves for CU Land in exactly 2 weeks and that Wild Man and I will be moving in with our good friends Supadiscomama, Supadiscodaddy, and Supadisco-T in 2 weeks. All of this means than in 3 weeks from tomorrow Wild Man and I board a plane for CU Land and we will be leaving all of our friends we love so much (in fact, these people are not my friends; they are my family and I really, really mean that) behind.
Add to that the fact that I have to get this damned chapter finished by the beginning of next week so I can focus on getting my house organized for moving and the million other things that have to get done, and I'm freaking out more than a little. In fact, I need to quit blogging and go to work right now. At least if I stop blogging I'm a lot less likely to start crying.
6 comments:
I can only imagine how overwhelmed you're feeling, and I'm amazed that you're still trying to get diss work done--rock on! If there's anything I can help with, please let me know....I'm a great packer, and I come with a handy-dandy labelmaker :) Or, I can provide sandwiches and munchies for lots of packing energy (and no time in the kitchen for you).
If it makes you feel any better, Supa-D and I were talking just last night about how we're kind of jealous of you guys. You're beginning your life as grown-ups!
Just remember that you're moving on to good things!
Thanks, Academama! I really appreciate the offer, but we're not packing. The movers are doing it all, so other than organizing (it seems we haven't filed a piece of paper in over a year) we're not doing much in the way of packing.
And to be quite honest, Supa-M and P-Duck, knowing that you feel jealous and remembering that we're moving on to good things doesn't make me feel better now--not at all. I imagine that will make me feel better once we're in CU Land, but now, as odd as it sounds, I just want to be able to say good-bye to the friends that I love and a place I have somehow come to think of as home. If it makes any sense at all, I feel like I have to mourn all the wonderful things and people we're losing--and you all are among those people. Logically, I know I'm not losing you because we will keep in touch and see each other again, but honestly it won't be the same. I won't get to see your beautiful children every week or get to talk to you anytime I want to. So while there are so many good things about this move, there are an equal number of things that make me want to cry.
Yes, it is really hard to leave, but I can say firsthand that, even though things do definitely change, it's mostly for the better. I mean, I still stay in touch with my grad school buddies, but I've (gasp!) FINALLY made some new mommy and dissertation friends in the Big City and so it's the best of both worlds.
Definitely take the time to say your goodbyes, but don't dwell too much on the mourning bit. While we don't get to play with each other's kids, we share pictures almost weekly and between email and phone calls and blogs, it's surprising how up-to-date we all stay.
XO.
Oh dear, I feel for you, and while I agree with Academama (the excitement of beginning life as "grown ups" -- we're yet to do that for sure at 37 now that K is going back to academia), I also know that you need to grieve, it's part of the process. I hope you can handle it all as best as you can, and I'm sure envious of one thing: having movers. It almost makes me want to sit down and cry a river to think that if we do sell the house we're going to have to ONE MORE TIME move by ourselves. Someday, someday... I'm looking forward to that day.
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