Our house in Southwest College Town is empty, except for the few things we need to make it through the night. Tomorrow, we will get up, have breakfast at our favorite restaurant, take Wild Man to school, and then C will hit the road with our two cats and our turtle. I will then clean out our rented house and take some things to our friends' house, with whom Wild Man and I will be staying until I finish teaching next week.
C and I had a long talk today. He has asked me (well, actually he shouted it because we were both feeling a lot of frustration today) to try to change my attitude about this move. I've been, as most of you know, emotional for the last few days, and that emotion has had more of an impact on my husband than I realized. He thought I was angry with him and blaming him for the move, which couldn't be farther from the truth. Admittedly, right now, I'm not thrilled with the idea of moving, but I do know this is the right decision for our family. CU is an excellent place for C to begin his career as a tenure track professor, and if things continue to work in my favor, this may also be a really good move for me professionally. It is hard to leave people I love so much. But I am so proud of C. He has worked so hard for this, and I really do like CU Land. It is hard to remember that as we say good-bye. So for the rest of my time in Southwest College Town, I'm going to try very hard to remember how blessed I am--blessed to have a wonderful husband and son, to have a terrific group of friends who have become my extended family, and to have really supportive "virtual" friends.
4 comments:
And it seems that is exactly how I was making C feel. I have been a little too caught up in how I feel and not paying enough attention to how he feels. I know it will be hard on him the next few days, knowing that I get extra time with our friends.
I just realized that I used C's name above, so for the sake of his and your anonymity, I erased my previous comment. But I'm posting it below, so that your response doesn't seem strangely out of context to your readers.
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Sure it's sad, but great things lie ahead for all three of you. Once you get there and get settled, I'm sure it will feel like home, just the same way that Southwest College Town now feels like home. You'll get to explore and find new favorite restaurants, parks, etc. It will be exciting and fun.
And when you miss your friends back here, just look at the new pictures on C's phone...
BTW, I sometimes think things are harder on the person for whom you're moving, as they see you upset and tend to think that it's their fault. Every time that Oxywife talks about missing family and about Oxybaby not knowing grandparents, I feel like crap, like it's my fault that we're far away. I know she doesn't see it that way, nor does she want me to feel responsible, but I do. And it still happens 5 years later.
Yes! Oxymoron is right! When I complain, K always feels guilty and says that it's his fault then that we moved here or there, or that he took this or that decision and I always have to assure him that this is not the problem at all.
I guess it's one of those classic "Mars vs. Venus" problems :-)
I can actually relate to what you're going through since I have moved so many times, particularly from one country to another, much farther from family and friends that you will be in CU land.
another coincidence is that exactly a week from today K and I had a really unpleasant argument too... and it was all about my attitude and my feelings regarding my professional future and our situation. Thankfully we resolved everything the next day. It seems we're in sync, somewhat.
I hope you have a good last week there. I'm sure it'll be extremely hard to live, but as things slowly unfold you'll be able to enjoy this move more. I'm glad that you know that you are blessed, and I am too -- that's what I had a hard time seeing last Friday, when I kept arguing that my PhD was good for nothing (just like me... yeah, I was that depressed, good thing it passed quickly).
OK, too much about me. I'll be thinking of you next week.
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