We're home!

Happy New Year, everyone!

We arrived home yesterday after a very early morning flight, a very short layover, and a 2-hour drive.  The children did remarkably well, but then, they tend to travel well as we've done so much of it.  CU Land has approximately 6 inches of snow on the ground.  Wild Man was so excited to see snow that he asked if we could wait to open our Santa presents so he could go play.  As Bear was equally happy to be in his own space, Archer and I agreed.  After playing in the snow for about 45 minutes, Wild Man came inside to get warm and dry.  Then he asked if we could open presents.  He was a bit disappointed we couldn't make homemade pizza for dinner, which is one of our holiday traditions, but we promised him we'd make it one night this week.  He said, "No store bought pizza, Mommy.  We have to make it from scratch!"  All in all, we had a relaxing late-afternoon and evening.

As I steal away a few moments to type this, Bear and Wild Man are "organizing" their new toys.  Our playroom is far from organized, but they are happy.  George is happy to have his things too.  He has spent some quality time in his exer-saucer this morning, and he enjoyed sitting in his high chair last night.  After more than a week sleeping between Archer and me, it will take some work to get him back in  his crib, but I'm not stressing out about anything today.  I'm as happy as my children to be home.

Home

For the past two days I've been in a lovely city to attend a major conference in my field.  The time away has been nice.  The panels I've attended have been (mostly) enlightening.  I've even managed to get a bit of work done.  But after being away for an entire week earlier this month, I'm miss Wild Man and Bear, not to mention Archer.  I'm traveling home tomorrow, and while it will be a long day, I'm happy to be going home.

Home

After a day of travel, we arrived home last night at 6:30.  The moment Bear was in the house he took off his shoes and his coat and ran to the playroom, yelling "Mommy, turn on the light!  I need to play!"  Wild Man sat down at the kitchen table and asked to do his homework, telling me "I want to play all day tomorrow, so let's do the work now!"  I think they were glad to be home.

We're moved in

Indeed, we are officially moved into our new home, and the new owners of our old townhouse take possession sometime today.  I would love to say that everything happened as planned, but there were quite a few glitches, which I'll likely blog about later.  I'm happy to say we have many more good friends in CU Land than I realized, without whom this past weekend would have been much, much more traumatic.  We survived, and we're settling into our home.  That's all I hoped to get out of this past weekend.

I will also say that leaving our townhouse was much more difficult than I anticipated.  While I know we made the right decision to sell and to move (which was reaffirmed Saturday evening.  While I was making dinner, I glanced out of the window, which has a full length view of the backyard.  Thus, I was able to keep an eye on Wild Man and Bear, who were happily playing in their water table, while cooking.  That was a great feeling.), I was in tears on Sunday afternoon as Archer and I moved the last few things out of the townhouse.  That little house, with all its quirks and irritating features, was the first house we owned, the first place we were able to make ours.  It is the only home Wild Man remembers, and it is the only home Bear has known.  As I told Archer, we were happy there.  And as he told me, we'll be happy in our new home as well.

Home State

Archer, the boys, and I are coming to the end of our visit to Home State, and while I do have lots to write, I don't have much time. I will say it has been a good visit, mostly.  I'm still processing somethings, but in the meantime,  I thought I'd share a few pictures. 

Bear playing at Yetta's, wearing his 

Spiderman hat and shark rain boots

Wild Man enjoying one of the many great 

fountains in our home city

A giant tortoise at the serpentarium

Wild Man holding the baby 

alligator at the serpentarium

Bear enjoying the beach

A little sad

That is how I feel about yesterday's events.  I do think we did the right thing, and that was reinforced today when Archer found a cheque for $350 from the Canadian Revenue Service that he thought he'd lost (I may not be that religious, but I do believe in karma).  I'm sad because this was our first house.  Yes, we'd lived in other houses--five since we've been married, as a matter of fact.  This house, however, was the first home we bought.  It was ours.  We made a lot of improvements.  We actually painted the walls colors we chose.  This home gave me a lot of comfort when we first moved to CU Land and I was so very lonely.  In fact, I made my closest friend in CU Land because we bought our house, and now we'll be moving away from our dear, dear neighbors who have become such good friends.  I could was sentimental for a while, and if you've been reading for a while, you know that I am more than capable of that.  I will miss many things about this house, and I hope that there is a house out there in CU Land that will become our home.

Home

C, Bear, and I made it home yesterday evening. We had a wonderful trip. The conference was great, we loved the city it was in, and C and I needed the time together. We ate a lot of great food, saw some beautiful sites, and spent a lot of time outside. Bear was a great traveler as well. Additionally, Wild Man had a great time with Yetta and Pita. He was well cared for, although he was really spoiled (as evidenced by the temper tantrum he had this morning when I told him he had to eat breakfast in the dining room not in front of the TV).

I have lots of other things to say about that, especially as I was overcome with anger at the state of my refrigerator and house in general last night (I mean, seriously, when Wild Man misses the toilet b/c he is 3 and doesn't have great aim, is it so hard to clean up the urine?). But I want to process my feelings a bit. If I write now, it will be little more than a rant, and I don't feel like that will be productive at all. I also want to blog about a comment Pita made to C regarding whether we're moving back to the States (she said something to the effect of: "Well, at some point you have to put your family before your career.") But for now, I will simply enjoy being home.

Control

C is embracing his new domestic role. On one level, it's great. He made breakfast this morning, put dinner in the crockpot, and washed 4 loads of laundry. This week alone he cleaned, took care of Bear, and reorganized the kitchen now that he's got all the cabinets installed. I'm feeling a bit out of sorts about all of this, however. This morning he informed me I was putting something in the wrong place in the kitchen, and I had no idea what to say about that. For various reasons, the kitchen has always been my domain. I do the majority of the cooking, so I have always organized the kitchen. I feel like I'm no longer in control of my home, which I know isn't accurate and is a response to going back to work. I'm going to have to remind myself that C can do things just as well as I can, and that there is nothing wrong with how he does things. Except, of course, that my way is better.

Home

After a week filled with friends and graduation activities, we're home. I have lots to say about our visit, but right now, I'm still processing the visit to Southwest College Town and our return to CU Land. It seems impossible to think we've been here a year. In many ways it seems like we just arrived yesterday, but in others, it feels like we've been here forever. I've always been a firm believer that home isn't a specific location; rather it is the place where you are with those that you love. CU Land has slowly become a home of sorts. Southwest College Town will always be very, very special to me, but it doesn't feel like home anymore. Home is where my boys--all three of them--are.

Home

I got home yesterday, although I left Southwest College Town on Saturday. C surprised me by reserving a hotel room for us on Saturday night, which meant we didn't have to drive back to CU Land on Saturday night. The three of us had a nice dinner and hung out in the hotel room. Then yesterday we went shopping and had a nice lunch before driving back to CU Land. It was a quiet, relaxing day, which is exactly what the three of us needed after being apart for almost a week. I have to say, seeing Wild Man run to me from across the airport was just as wonderful as hearing my adviser say I'd passed my defense. He proudly presented me with a Mother's Day present--a very pretty bead bracelet that he'd made himself at school. As wonderful as it was to be with all of my friends and to defend, it was more wonderful to be back with my boys again. Wild Man and I are spending the day together, and then tomorrow, I get back to work. I'm giving myself 2 weeks to finish all my revisions, although I'm hoping it will take less time. Then C and I begin the arduous task of organizing closets and making other final preparations for Z's arrival. Only 5 1/2 weeks to go. . .

I am . . .

very happy to be home with my boys. For the moment that says it all.

Home

After a weekend trip to attend the baptism of our goddaughter, we are home. Wild Man woke up this morning asking to see Jeezy and Lion Cub, which made me tear up a bit, but once I assured him that Jeezy and Lion Cub would be visiting in a few months, he was comforted (Note to Solon and Megs: you can't disappoint Wild Man; this kid has an amazing memory. He will ask when you're coming to visit every few days until he sees you next!).

Returning home, I have all the usual things to do after a trip: laundry, grocery shopping, a bit of cleaning. After C and Wild Man left this morning, I actually contemplated doing all of those things quickly (well, except the shopping as C took the car), but then I heard Jennie's voice in the back of my head saying, "Let it go, M. Go work." While I did start a load of laundry, I am only planning to do what is absolutely essential to life--I mean, I only have so many pairs of maternity pants! The cleaning can wait. We're having a quick and easy dinner with ingredients that are already in my pantry, so there is no need to go to the store (although I do think I will get C to stop by the store on the way home to pick up a few essentials) until the weekend. Tonight, C and I are finally going to sit down and make list of daily and weekly chores that have to get done. I plan on hearing Jennie's voice every time I consider putting something on the list. Now that I've finished answering student emails (you'd think these ladies had never written a short paper before), I'm going to have a quick snack and get down to work. I need to crank out at least 5 more pages today, and since I have a pretty good handle on this section I am feeling very confident that I can do this!

We have returned

For now, that says it all. I'm sure I'll be blogging about the 11 day trip soon, but for now, I am just so glad to be in my own home with my own bed and my own things. I will say the trip was very eventful, but most of the events were positive ones. Yetta did try to initiate one fight, but C's rather unexpected response ended it fairly quickly. We have no elaborate plans for New Year's Eve. Both C and Wild Man are getting over pretty yucky colds, so we're going to lay low.

A long talk

Yesterday afternoon, C and I had a long talk about the plans for today. I carefully explained how I felt about the situation, and he listened. I offered up several possibilities, and he was open to every one of them. At dinner, we talked to Yetta, and she said she'd really like to drive along the border and see some of the towns there. When C explained that wouldn't be particularly easy to do with Wild Man, she seemed to understand. She asked me point blank what I wanted to do, and I explained that I really didn't want to lose an entire day of work. I said I'd like to work for part of the day, and that way you and C can do whatever you'd like in CU Land (C had already pointed out that there is actually quite a lot to do here). She asked about Wild Man. I said you can take Wild Man with you, or we can take him to school. She visibly blanched at the idea of having to manage Wild Man while C drove her from one place to another, and said, "I think he'd do better at school. That way he won't miss his nap." So that is precisely what happened. C and Yetta dropped me and Wild Man off at the library and his school, respectively, and they are planning to pick us up around 2:30 or 3:00. Then we will head to Mid-west City, where we will have a nice dinner and spend the evening together in the hotel.

My conversation with C was productive for another reason: I think I've finally made him understand why I just don't enjoy going to Home State anymore. Traveling to visit our parents, who live about 30 minutes apart, has been stressful for me for years. It's been difficult for me to articulate why, and I think I have finally been able to do so in a way that C understands. First, as I've said before, our families are just different. His celebrates every single holiday, even Memorial Day and Labor Day; holidays are a big production with lots of people, lots of food, and lots of plans. My family is much more low-key. My parents don't have a lot of friends, and they aren't into entertaining. Holidays (and we only really celebrated Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and 4th of July along with our birthdays) were just us. We had our own traditions, but unless we traveled to see family, holidays didn't include anyone but the 5 of us. Second, Yetta plans ahead; for example, she's already planning her Christmas dinner and it's only late-October. My family decides what to do and what to eat about a week before. Third, Yetta wants to be the center of attention; she wants all of her family and her friends around her because she truly does love them and want to spend time with them. To achieve this, she makes plans early, making it difficult for my laid-back parents to make any plans at all (not that they would in the first place). And my parents just want things quiet. They are happy to be included in any holiday plans C's family has, but it honestly doesn't occur to them to make similar plans. Yetta thinks this means my family is rude as they rarely reciprocate by inviting her to their home; it doesn't. They just don't think that way. All of these things make holidays when we're in Home State stressful.

On top of this, there have been some major changes in my family's dynamic in the past few years--changes I'm not comfortable blogging about. Suffice to say, my parents are essentially hermits. They go to work, they run what errands need to be done, and they stay home. When at home, my dad reads, and my mom watches TV while she sews. When we visit, this routine changes only if I make plans for us to do something specific. Otherwise, we just do the things they do everyday, which is hard for me because my parents weren't always like this. At Yetta's, I'm expected to go along with her plans, which usually means we're visiting or shopping. None of this is my idea of fun. Most of my friends have moved away, as has my sister, so I don't really have anyone to see in Home State aside from family. This means that I have no way to escape the tedium of life at my parents or the constant demands of Yetta. C, as I pointed out, has an escape: he goes hunting with his brother. So while he's gone for 6 or 7 hours at a time, I'm stuck trying to keep Wild Man from breaking the innumerable knick-knacks at Yetta's or trying to amuse him at my parents. I emphasized to C that I do not begrudge him the time he spends hunting. This is something he truly loves to do, and he only gets to do it once a year at most. I'm happy for him to spend time with his brother doing something they love. As I said all of this, he looked at me and said, "I get it, M. It just isn't fun for you anymore. It was a lot better before your sister moved away because you could do things with her and her kids, but it's harder now with all the changes that have happened." And he hugged me. Suddenly all the anger and frustration slipped away as I realized that he understands.

All of this means we have a new plan if we do go to Home State in December. We will be traveling before Christmas and back in CU Land, in our own home by Christmas Eve at the latest. We will map out some things that we want to do in Home State with Wild Man, tell our families about these plans, invite them to join us, and go. Since we're planning on driving (a nightmare in itself, I know, but Wild Man doesn't fly free anymore), I will have a means of escape if life at my parents or at Yetta's becomes too much for me. I'm so thankful that I was able to explain all of this to C and that he was so willing to listen. Now I feel like we have a plan that will not leave me feeling stressed and isolated in Home State.

Our new home

Here are some much requested images of our new home, specifically images of the main floor (the town home has 3 floors). Notice the kitchen curtains, which I made one day while Wild Man took a nap. Please ignore the laundry in the middle of the living room; C took these as I was bringing laundry up from the laundry room to fold it and put it away. Wild Man is watching Beauty and the Beast in the background, a film he's been obsessed with for almost 2 months now. I'll try to post images of the bedrooms once we finish painting our bedroom and my office.

Home

I am home. It was well worth getting up at 4:15 this morning to make a 6:00 flight; I walked off the plane in Southwest College Town at 12:30. C was holding Wild Man, and it took him a few seconds to realize I was standing in front of him. When he realized it was me, he said "Mama," laughed, and literally jumped into my arms. He spent the rest of the day making sure I didn't leave his sight. We even took a nap together this afternoon. He is asleep now, and I'm looking forward to a quiet evening with my husband. I will, of course, probably be asleep very soon, but it is good to be home.

We've returned

We got in late last night (well, 9:00, but that is late when you have a toddler with you!) from our trip to CU Land. I'll be writing a lot about it in the next week. After several frustrating days of looking at horrific townhomes and houses that need major renovations, we finally found a 3 bedroom, 1 1/2 bath townhome on Thursday morning (our last day in CU Land) that we loved. In fact, it was so much nicer than anything else we'd seen that we put in an offer. We heard from our real estate agent late yesterday afternoon, and our offer has been accepted. Barring any complications with the mortgage, we have a home! And to make the trip even better, I found out that I will be teaching a course in the Women's Studies Department. I am equally excited and relieved about our upcoming move.